Hey, Max. You got a second?
MaxYeah, what's up? Late for a thing.
I need to get out of our deal.
Max
What?
Another opportunity came up, and I'm short on cash.
Max
What other opportunity? Is it something I want to invest in?
I'm not allowed to say, but I gotta act fast.
Max
Are you kidding me? You bullied your way onto my project, and I can't get in on yours?
I'm sorry. My hands are tied. So how can I get my money out of the Sunset Brook project?
Max
You can't. I mean, it's been invested. And the paperwork's already been filed on the partnership, so... Well, I wasn't expecting a 12-month delay on the senior center.
Max
So what's the other thing? You getting a better return? Is that, uh-- is that why you want to bail?
Max
Jesus. You know, I thought we had a good business thing going here. I scratch your back, you scratch mine. See how you are, Gallagher. [Softly laughs] All right, don't forget my 25K. [He drives away and Fiona mouths; "fuck"]
Max
What the hell, Gallagher? Is your phone broken? Holy shit. What happened to your face?
I'm fine. Just a little hit-and-run.
Max
[Laughs] God, that looks... terrible. Like, my brain is rejecting that an otherwise very hot girl can look this bad. Anyway, I'm late for my spin class, and your PayPal didn't come through, girl. Yeah, I... tacky to make me come find you. Selling this place?
Yeah, sorry. I've just been swamped, and I was in the hospital most of the day yesterday...
Max
Totally get it. No bigs. Just PayPal me right now. I'm @maxwhitfordsaysyas. Y-A-S. Do you not have the app?
Max
You don't have $25K? Who doesn't have $25K?
Max
All right, so borrow it against your portfolio. Call your guy.
I don't have a guy, Max, and I got rejected for a loan. I got nothing.
Max
What about your other properties and investments? Anything liquid you can unload? Oh. Oh, you overleveraged? You told everybody you could swim, and now you're drowning?
Yeah, going down like the fucking Titanic.
Max
Oh. You got anybody you can call? Uncle, mom, something?
Nobody in my life has that kind of money. That's why I'm selling this place.
Max
Even if I could, you just... you're not gonna clear large in a couple days. Come on, buyer will need to do due diligence and inspections and probably try to back out at the end of escrow, try to fuck you with a lowball offer last-minute. I mean, you're not gonna have cash in hand for at least days. Who's your listing agent?
[Laughs] I can't afford you, Max.
Max
Maybe I waive my commission for you.
Max
Yeah. I am not as big an asshole as you think I am. Come on.
Max
Well, if you had the time, you could probably get $425K for it.
That's what I was thinking.
Max
But it would cost you $40K in closing costs, plus 120-day escrow, and you don't have that kind of time. [Sighs] How much is your mortgage?
Max
What's the total?
Max
All right. I'll give you $292,000 for it.
Wait, you want to buy it?
Max
Yeah. I'll take it off your hands today, in cash, as is, no inspections, close in 30 days. Could pay off your mortgages and walk away. And I'll take care of the $25K you owe the partnership so you don't default, but... I'm gonna charge you interest on that.
But that-that'll leave me with nothing, Max.
Max
It'll leave you with your credit intact, and you didn't get foreclosed on. You're pretty, but I'm not a charity.
Shameless · 903 quotes
