Leesie[Pulling up to loitering woman] Well, that must be our perp.
Leesie
Know her?
Yeah, she been selling squares out here forever. Is that illegal?
Leesie
Gotta have a license.
Look like she has a license to you?
Leesie
[Leans into cruiser window] Hey there, Officer. Something I can get you? I got menthol and regular.
Oh, we're not buying. Uh, we just...
JMiss June
Gallagher. Any relation to Lip?
Yeah, he's my brother. [Laughs] He used to be my best customer.
JMiss June
I haven't seen that handsome face in a month of Sundays. Did he get busted again?
No, he actually had a baby.
JMiss June
Ugh! Them newborn babies is bad for business.
Hey. So look, unfortunately...
JMiss June
Y'all still live over there by the Washingtons?
You know the Washingtons?
JMiss June
Ooh, yeah, we used to...
Leesie
[Using loudspeaker] Fucking move your ass! I catch you selling out here again, I'm busting your ass, and I'm taking you in!
JMiss June
[Walks away] Okay! Miss June respects the police. Yes, she does. All lives matter. Blue lives. Them blue lives matter. Especially them blue lives.
[To Leesie] I was doing it!
Leesie
Could've fooled me!
[Carl and Leesie walk into apparel retail store]
SShopkeeper
Thank you for coming. Damn shoplifters took a bunch of stuff.
Leesie
Mm.
SShopkeeper
That's one of them right there. The others ran away.
Leesie
Mm. How'd you catch him?
SShopkeeper
Pepper spray.
Leesie
Okay, and then you tied him to a rack using belts.
Leesie
I like your style. [Sighs] What's your name?
Leesie
Mm. Pepper spray burn, don't it?
Leesie
No? Oh, you a tough guy. Okay. All right. Well, just so you know... it only gets worse from here.
SSaquon
Ow, you're hurting me.
Leesie
Move your ass. Come on, Gallagher. Come on, lady. Instead of shoplifting, how about you lift some damn weights? One thing you ain't gotta steal; food.
Leesie
[Sets Saquon's hands on an overturned cable spool] See what we got. Officer Gallagher, can you do me a favor?
Leesie
In the trunk, there's a machete. You mind bringing it to me, please?
Leesie
Yeah, my machete. See it?
Leesie
[Carl unsheaths machete and hands it to Leesie] You ever been to Iraq, Saquon?
Leesie
No? Ooh, I loved it over there. I did not wanna come home. Now, in Iraq, you steal, you don't go to jail. Nah, they cut off your hand. Punishment fits the crime, see?
Leesie
Gallagher, don't just stand there. Come here. Keep this bitch from squirming. [Carl wraps around Saquon's torso] It's gonna take a couple hacks for this hand to come off. Here we go. [Chops machete besides Saquon's wrist who screams] Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Look at me. This was just a warning. I catch you stealing again, this hand's coming off. Go home. Change your pants. [Saquon takes off running] Scared Straight ain't got nothing on my shit.
Shameless · 903 quotes
