ET quotes from Sea Patrol

ET

[When he's just been told his leg will be amputated.] At least we'll always get a car space.

Where the hell’s Hammersley?

ET

They might have forgotten about you, Jaff. But there’s no way they’re not coming back for me.

You reckon the X and Nav both want your body, don’t you?

ET

Oh, that’d be the natural order of things, yeah.

It’s freezing.

ET

No it’s not. We’re too close to the equator.

Do we have any sharks in these waters?

ET

No. The saltwater crocodiles scare ‘em away.

Crocodiles?

ET

I’m joking.

Chefo

So, ET, who set the FFV alight? You or Jaff?

ET

Jaff.

Chefo

Yeah, that figures. I picked him for an arsonist the moment he came on board.

Nav

Oh, you look fabulous!

Kate

I would like to thank my personal stylist, Lieutenant Commander Mike Flynn, for the loan of his very favourite fishing shirt.

Mike

Black eye adds a degree of authenticity to the ensemble. Don’t you think?

ET

Ease off, Nav. I didn’t volunteer for this gig.

Mike

No, you're there because you failed to keep an eye on David.

Spider

Yeah, believe me, ET. No one volunteered for this gig.

ET

[Grabs a fish Buffer had picked up.] Oh! Buffer! You kiss me! Kiss me!

Buffer

Unlike some of us, ET, I’ve got standards.

Chefo

I reckon that Buffer’s a one-fish kind of guy.

Buffer

Righto, you lot! I want these uppers clear for a freshwater washdown! Spider, you’re in charge!

Spider

Yes, Buff!

Spider

That storm in the night sure made a mess. You ever seen it blow as big, ET?

ET

Mate, I slept like a baby. Didn’t feel a thing. Don't know what you’re talking about.

Spider

You're pulling my chain, right? The waves were massive. They were at least 20 metres.

Chefo

20 metres, hey, Spide? You sure you weren’t asleep too?

RO

Squid for breakfast! [He throws a squid down.] Looks like we did some illegal fishing in that storm.

Spider

[Laughs.] You were saying?

RO

I believe you, Spider. How else did we get all this seafood up here?

Nav

Roger Romeo2, we might have to sink it. Over.

ET

Wow, what about the Maritime salvaging rights, there might be a ferrari in this thing.

Nav

And who's gonna drive it back to base, Romeo? You?

Kate

Hello, sailors. How are you both feeling?

Spider

Oh, much better, thank you, ma’am.

Buffer

X, I am so hungry, I could eat the sleep out of a cow’s eye.

ET

Well, that’s good, mate, ‘cause I think Chefo just ordered for you.

Chefo

That’s right. I’ve got crabs if you boys want ‘em. That’s not what I meant. That is... I’m out of here.

Nav

I reckon they'd call it the rescue complex.

ET

So what, you're saying she needed to be rescued?

Nav

The rescue complex refers to the one doing the rescuing. You seemed pretty keen to wanna rescue her. [ET tries to speak] Glad she didn't shoot you though. Well, maybe glad is to strong a word.

Nav

Think like a little boy again.

ET

I never stopped.

ET

My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. I only just found out about it. We'd been broken up for ages but we bumped into each other a couple of months ago

Nav

You obviously did more than bump into her.

Spider

My Mum always said I had big ears

ET

I don't think that was a compliment, Spider...

ET

Don’t know about you, boss, but I’m starting to feel like someone’s appetiser.

Mike

Come on, ET. You’re a main course at least.

ET

Hey, Charge. Charge! Look at this. This is our own pirate.

Charge

Arr, ahoy there, me hearties. I’ll be eating your liver with a spoon.

Nup.

You’re not as good as Jack Sparrow,.

ET

Not at all.

Charge

Well, did my best. Tough crowd.

ET

Hey, Ro, any news on Swaino’s missus?

RO

Yeah. Yeah, I got an email about 20 minutes ago. [Walks off.]

[Calling after him.] And?