ET quotes from Sea Patrol

Nav

ET's being posted with us?

Mike

Good to have the old gang back together, wouldn't you say?

Charge

Wooh-hoo-hoo! It's the creature from the deep.

ET

I heard you fellas couldn't deal without me.

Buffer

Yeah right.

Swain

It's good to see you again mate.

ET

It's good to be here.

ET

Charge, they let you up here too, do they?

Charge

Ooh, yeah. Condition was I cleaned up my jokes. And my calendars.

ET

[Checking out the calendar.] What is she wearing?

Charge

I dunno. I believe it’s called a ‘bikini top’.

Kate

Now, I thought I told you to confine her to your cabin.

Charge

I don’t know how she got back up here, ma’am.

Charge

Not quiche again.

Bomber

Charge, this is real man’s quiche – bacon, sausage, barbeque sauce, splash of Tabasco. Put whickers on your whiskers. Or in Spider’s case, it may bring on puberty.

Spider

I’ll have you know I shave every day.

ET

Legs and bikini line don’t count, mate.

Bomber

It’ll put hair on your chest, then.

Spider

I’ve got hair on my chest, okay? Just like yours.

ET

Man, this smell’s knocking me out.

Buffer

It smells ‘a-trochus’.

ET

Mate, that joke’s ‘a-trochus’.

Nav

Haven't you had enough action for one day?

ET

Nah never, just ahh, I think I pulled a muscle boarding that FFV I thought I might stretch it out.

Nav

Oh no I know what you're doing, trying to drive me crazy.

ET

Is it working?

Nav

No, it's having absolutely no effect whatsoever.

ET

Oh, well I guess I'm safe just to keep doing it then.

Nav

Just don't blame me if I can't think about anything else.

ET

It's a choice of fruit salad or fruit salad.

Charge

No way.

Swain

I would steer clear if I was you though mate, this stuff with soften your arteries.

Charge

[Sarcastic laugh.] Where is the cook?

Charge

She’s not here, it’s just fruit and salad.

RO

Good. Need you all in the junior sailors’ mess.

ET

Is there a problem?

RO

No, we’re gonna sing ‘Happy Birthday’.

Swain

He’s getting weirder.

Mike

Who's got the machetes?

ET

We're navy sir.

Bomber

He’s supposed to be a hell of a captain.

RO

Yeah. He’s a golf nut.

ET

I hear golf balls aren’t the only thing he whacks with his putter... Junior sailors

Bomber

No!

ET

Oh, I’m serious.