Charge quotes from Sea Patrol

Charge

Might have to shut down a few systems. We’ll start with the sewerage. Anyone who needs to go, go now.

Charge

Has anyone seen my watch?

Charge

No, the gold watch, you panda.

Charge

[Snatching the ultrasound.] Gimme. [Rotates it a few times.] Where’s the nipper?

Swain

[Pointing.] There. Head, arm, leg, ten cute little toes.

Charge

Looks like a frog.

Swain

It’s not a frog! It’s my gorgeous baby!

Charge

Which explains why it looks like a frog.

ET

Hey, Charge. Charge! Look at this. This is our own pirate.

Charge

Arr, ahoy there, me hearties. I’ll be eating your liver with a spoon.

Nup.

You’re not as good as Jack Sparrow,.

ET

Not at all.

Charge

Well, did my best. Tough crowd.

Buffer

Misty found my conversation inspiring.

Swain

Misty? [He grabs the piece of paper Buffer is holding.] Misty was that blonde you were talking to at the bar last night?

Charge

Name like ‘Misty’, she’s either a stripper or a whale-watcher.

Swain

Or both.

Charge

Possibly both.

Buffer

Hey, hey, I finally get a woman interested and I’m gonna die inhaling some deadly toxin.

Charge

Toxin, perfume – same result.

Buffer

Yeah, I’d like to see how these guys handle this toxin when I feed it to them.

Swain

Oh, gentlemen, company.

Uh, hi. I agree with you completely. [Sticking out her hand.] Martina.

Buffer

Buffer. Peter.

Charge

[Clears his throat.] You’ll have to excuse us, Martina. Peter’s watch is about to start, and I need to give my boys some information.

Understood. We’re relying on you boys to find this ship.

Swain

Oh, ma’am, if anyone can sniff it out, it’s the CO.

[Picking up Buffer’s email.] Oh, uh, I look forward to hearing some of your inspiring conversation.

Buffer

Ma’am.

Swain

Must be your pheromones, mate.

Buffer

What?

Swain

Exactly.

Nav

ET's being posted with us?

Mike

Good to have the old gang back together, wouldn't you say?

Charge

Wooh-hoo-hoo! It's the creature from the deep.

ET

I heard you fellas couldn't deal without me.

Buffer

Yeah right.

Swain

It's good to see you again mate.

ET

It's good to be here.

ET

Charge, they let you up here too, do they?

Charge

Ooh, yeah. Condition was I cleaned up my jokes. And my calendars.

ET

[Checking out the calendar.] What is she wearing?

Charge

I dunno. I believe it’s called a ‘bikini top’.

Kate

Now, I thought I told you to confine her to your cabin.

Charge

I don’t know how she got back up here, ma’am.

Charge

What is that?

Bomber

Croque monsier.

Charge

Crocca what?

Bomber

Ham and cheese toasted sangers.

Charge

Oh, alright.

Charge

Not quiche again.

Bomber

Charge, this is real man’s quiche – bacon, sausage, barbeque sauce, splash of Tabasco. Put whickers on your whiskers. Or in Spider’s case, it may bring on puberty.

Spider

I’ll have you know I shave every day.

ET

Legs and bikini line don’t count, mate.

Bomber

It’ll put hair on your chest, then.

Spider

I’ve got hair on my chest, okay? Just like yours.

Swain

You don't have Bird Flu, Spider.

Spider

What, are you a pathologist? They were on the Hammersley for a very long time.

Charge

We're disinfected.

Spider

Charge, those germs can live for a very long time.

Charge

What, are you a pathologist?

ET

It's a choice of fruit salad or fruit salad.

Charge

No way.

Swain

I would steer clear if I was you though mate, this stuff with soften your arteries.

Charge

[Sarcastic laugh.] Where is the cook?

Charge

She’s not here, it’s just fruit and salad.

RO

Good. Need you all in the junior sailors’ mess.

ET

Is there a problem?

RO

No, we’re gonna sing ‘Happy Birthday’.

Swain

He’s getting weirder.

Oh oh oooooo ooh wow wooow!

Charge

Oh recording recording!

Nav

Spider hasn't got a chance against her.

RO

Guys, some of us are trying to work here.

Nav

RO, shoosh.

Kate

Ahh, have we found something of interest on the EOD?

Charge

No, just perving on the cruiser.

Kate

What's Webb done with his life jacket?

Charge

Ummm well he.....

Nav

You know Spider, he's just...Spider.

Kate

Right

Charge

Sweet music to my ears.

Buffer

That's the sound of you snoring big fellow.

Charge

I don't snore.

Charge

Jamie, could we have a word?

That's 'Sir' to you, Sailor.