Dutchy quotes from Sea Patrol

Dutchy

[To 2Dads and Bird.] Behave, chicken legs.

Dutchy

Hey Swaino, few of us are going down the pub for a few... [Swain brushes past him and ignores him.] Yeah, good chat.

Dutchy

[About 2Dads & RO.] I wouldn’t trust them to catch the clap at a Bangkok brothel.

Dutchy

So, who do you think he’s protecting?

Bomber

He fancies Bird. Was it you?

Bird

No.

Charge

No, Bird was cleaning ovens all night, Bomber.

Bomber

Not all night, Charge.

Swain

Bomb, she didn’t leave the ship.

Dutchy

Where were you, Bomber?

Bomber

Wasn’t me.

Charge

Course it wasn’t.

Swain

Oh, come on, she wasn’t even there. [Bomber turns to look at him.] Were you?

Bomber

Oh, what? So I’m invisible now? Get out of my galley.

Swain

Well, six hours left, 2Dads. Time to spill your guts.

Bomber

Come on, 2Dads, tell us.

Bird

At least tell Bomber it wasn’t me.

Dutchy

Listen everyone, I think the right thing to do is whoever did it to fess up themselves.

Charge

That’s right.

RO

Oh, that went well.

Dutchy

Sir with your permission, can I include 2Dads in this party? I am getting the impression that he is the type to keep under my wing.

Mike

You're a brave man.

Is it okay to be walking around near this stuff?

Dutchy

You were at the briefings, mate.

[Pause.] So is it okay to be walking around near this stuff?

RO

[Scoffs.] Children.

Bird

Robert, this is a family resort.

RO

Yeah, well, I was never allowed to behave like that when I was a child.

Dutchy

That explains a lot.

Bomber

Excuse me {Walks toward Dutchy and kisses him on the cheek.]

Dutchy

Ah, what was that for?

Bomber

2Dads told me that you found me and carried me all that way. Thanks.

Dutchy

No, that wasn't me, that was RO. But thanks anyway.

RO

So.

Bomber

Why?

RO

You told me to stay away.

Bomber

Well, thanks for ignoring that.

Oh yeah, here we go!

Dutchy

You alright?

Yaahaa!

Bird

Yuck.

Dutchy

Relax, it's just a little bit of squid. [Helps Bird with her fishing rod.]

Bird

Yeah, but they're so slimy!

Bomber

Hey! I thought the rule was to bait your own hook.

Bird

I don't do slimy!

Bomber

Guess that kills 2Dads' chances!

Oh, it's a monster! Get the net!

Swain

Come on mate! Get the camera, Bomb!

Bomber

That's your monster?

Dutchy

It's huge!

Bomber

Mate, this thing hasn't got a micro setting!

It's bigger than it looks.

Bomber

Ah, bet you say that to all the girls.

Bomber

There’s nothing to worry about.

Bird

There isn’t?

Bomber

No. It’s a popular dive site. Coastwatch are on the case, we’re on our way, he’s wearing scuba gear.

Dutchy

Bomber’s right. Bird. 2Dads will be fine. He’s got a BCD and an FSB.

Bird

I know a BCD’s a buoyancy control device, what’s an FSB?

Dutchy

Female, Swedish...

Bird

Backpacker.

Dutchy

Bingo. Ten bucks says Coastwatch will find him hitting on her, and he’ll blame us for cramping his style.

Bird

Yeah, I hope so.

Dutchy

Hey, I know so.

Dutchy

If it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck,its a duck.

Charge

Or a goose...

Dutchy

No, Geese honk!

Dutchy

There’s no one below decks, X.

Charge

You sure?

Dutchy

Apart from Harold Holt and Osama bin Laden, yeah. I’m sure.