So, did he buy the newsletter rankings nonsense?
Like an elderly shut-in talking to a telemarketer.
Outstanding.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[to Elliot] Morning, sunshine! You look rested! Oh, and making time for the paper, that must be nice. [drops the act] Later, you munch!
Did she just call me a butt-munch?
Well, she didn't use the word "butt", though I can't think of any other prominent kind of munch, so... yeah, she called you a butt-munch. [cheerfully] I'm Drew, by the way!
And now, a boring announcement about a pointless tradition, brought to you by an aging figurehead with a failing liver and an over-active libido.
Thank you, Perry, you anger-filled muscle-slut.
I miss this.
Me, too. It kills me that we're friends now.
The O.R. room is a safe place. No one's going to yell "Recognize!" at you. Can I ask you a question? Why do white people ruin everything? I only got to say "fo' shizzle" for a week. A week!
Hey, Drew... "You better recognize?"
Just something people used to say in the '90's.
Cool people?
... no.
What did Drew say about me rejoining the study group?
He said no.
Really? Did you remind him I'm one-eighteenth American Indian?
Are you?
I don't know, but I always tell people that. It makes the white man feel guilty.
Damn, girl, you can't just jump in front of golf carts! That's how gardeners die!
[The class is to be tested on dissecting a cadaver, who was once Lucy's patient, Ben]
[narration] Anyway, my friend Ben was going to propel our group to the top of the class. I'm so moved, I just want to put those feelings into words. [out loud] Dr. Turk, I can't wait to slice up this old bastard's ticker!
[to Elliot] Hello, wife-face! Your shift is over, and I'm taking you on a baby-moon!
What are you talking about?
A baby-moon is a vacation that couples take just before your baby comes out of your special area. And the resort I found is amazing; they have horseback riding, and jet-skiing...
Oh, do they also have any punching each other in the stomach contests? Because that's another thing I can't do.
Your mom doesn't like me very much, does she?
[nervously chewing her hair] She's crazy about you!
See? You're lying! Babe, I can read you like the back of a DVD case. You chew on your hair when you lie, you adjust your bra when you're about to yell at me, and you get this far-off look in your eye when you're narrating in your head.
[narrating, while rolling her eyes upward] Even though Cole and I were clicking...
There it is!
[adjusting her bra] Stop noticing things I do!
[The class is in detention under suspicion of cheating]
I hope it was Drew. Then he'll get his butt thrown out of here.
What did he do to you? [whispering] Did he smack you around?
Worse. He told me he loved me. Who does that? Don't you see? He's trying to get me to trust him so he can let me down.
Crazy idea: you could just say "I love you" back.
Yeah, but then if it doesn't work out, I'll have to kill him, go to jail, break out, and kill you for giving me that advice.
I love how our friendship is based predominately on threats.
I just needed a moment of peace and quiet. The other students will.. not.. stop asking me questions.
Oh, puh-leeze! I have a hospital full of incompetents hammering me with stupid questions every second of every day.
Dr. Cox, your patient in three is septic. Antibiotics or vasopressors?
Antibiotics at first.
That wasn't so dumb.
Wait for it.
Oh, did you get my request for scrubs that hug a little closer to my wham-bam?
Thank you, Todd, for being the example to a point you don't understand.
You're welcome.
RRussell
There is so much I could teach you, if you would just open up and let me in. Let me in, Turk!
I'm about to punch you in the mouth!
RRussell
Fine, but be forewarned: I trained with the Mossad. I could kill you with a button off your jacket.
Really. Because I trained with LaMarcus down at the gym, and he was an NFL linebacker before he came out of the closet!
[Dr. Cox and Denise search the hospital, asking passerbys about Drew]
Have you seen Drew Suffin? Med student, only about 900 years old?
Hey, you seen a med student? Thinks he's cooler than he is, kinda has a serial killer vibe?
Anyway, I got a little bit lightheaded, so we're going to run some tests.
I wouldn't worry about it. A few years back, I got a little light-headed myself. Turns out it was, well... it was diabetes. That's a bad example.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Scrubs pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.