J.D. quotes from Scrubs

J.D.

[about to sleep with his girlfriend for the first time] Remember when the new Star Wars movie came out? It was all built up, and when people finally saw it, it wasn't that great in bed?

J.D.

[Narration] Maybe the mistake we make is thinking our parents will change. And maybe they did a better job than we give them credit for. And maybe there, amid all the crap they dumped on us, are some things worth keeping. Like a passion for something you never knew you had. Or the ability to constantly surround yourself with people who love you.

J.D.

[narration] I think one of the most universal human experiences is feeling alone. You'd never know it, but there's most likely tons of people feeling the exact same way. Maybe because you're feeling abandoned. Maybe because you realize that you aren't as self-sufficient as you thought. Maybe because you know you should've handled something differently. Or maybe because you aren't as good as you thought you were. Either way, when you hit that low point, you have a choice. You can either wallow in self-pity, or you can suck it up. It's your call.

J.D.

[narration] There are a few things I've always believed in. Flowers are good for any occasion. And nothing is more important than making time for an old friend, especially if the old girl has seen better days. Because even if it breaks your heart to be "just friends," if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.

J.D.

[voiceover] I don't think people are meant to be by themselves. That's why if you actually find someone you care about, it's important to let go of the little things, even if you can't let go all the way. Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around.

J.D.

[narration] There comes a time when every man needs to make a choice, whether it's a professional choice or whether it's a personal choice. In the end, it's about integrity, and it's about chasing after what you really want, even if that means showing you both care a little. And sometimes... well, sometimes you just have to do what's right for your friend, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you make.

J.D.

Lonnie, slap your face!

J.D.

All of you, slap your faces!

J.D.

Awesome.

J.D.

Elliot, if you need any help, just ask Dr. Diagnosis. You can be my sidekick! Bangs McCoy!

J.D.

Listen, if you're having trouble finding a vein for an IV, please don't page me. If you're desperate, we're lucky: this is a city hospital, there are plenty of heroin addicts who are quite adept at this.

J.D.

Jason, when you're filling out a female patient's exam report, her breasts can be "healthy" or "unhealthy," but never "bangin' double-Ds."

J.D.

I think there's something wrong with my spine, because I'm not doing that.

J.D.

Mr. Barry, I misplaced your chart, I forgot, what's wrong with you again? [looks at Mr. Barry] Oh, that's right, you have a kitty cat stuck in your mouth. Or should I say you have a person stuck around you, little guy. Goochie goochie.

J.D.

I can't believe you can get heart failure from being sad. How do you treat that?

J.D.

This man is coding, get me a box of kittens, stat!

J.D.

Wouldn't I be a great spokesman for things?

J.D.

Hey, nice singlet! Does it come in hetero?

J.D.

[voiceover] Suddenly, all of our memories of the last six years came flooding back, like a clip show in some sitcom too lazy to come up with a fresh story.