Shaggy quotes from Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated

Daphne

Look at that! Are Manticores double-jointed?

Velma

This is no Manticore, Daphne. This is... (unmasks the Manticore)

Hot Dog Water?

Velma

Just as I suspected. It totally makes sense when you put the clues together. Someone with computer skills had to make that fake website, and Hot Dog Water has those skills. And remember, just before the Manticore attacked, I smelled something familiar. It was briny, greasy hot dog water. (to Hot Dog Water) But what I don't know is why Shaggy and Scooby had such high voices after you attacked them before, or why you'd want this amusement park to close so badly.

How could you know? Your intellect is so far inferior to mine. (takes off the Manticore's outfit) It all started on a boring Friday night when I didn't have a date.

Velma

Hard to imagine.

I decided to run some experiments on the steel used to build the park's rides. I found that if you melted the steel down and combined it with chromium, stalagmite, and mercury phosphate, it created a kind of super helium. Shaggy and Scooby must have inhaled some helium gas from the Manticore's posterior relief hole. That's why their voices were so high. I figured if I could get the park to close, I could take all the steel, melt it down, and sell the super helium to the Australian zeppelin fleet. I'd have made a fortune and shown you up in the process, Velma.

Daphne

Another mystery solved.

It still seems like something's missing.

(reads) "Meddling kids and their dog will foil your plan".

Yep. That would be it.

Oof. Eahhh! Wood gets older than kindle!

Nice to see you again... (unmasks the Shadowy Figure)

Professor Pericles.

Pericles

Well, hello, children. How did you know?

Velma

Simple. There's only one brain large enough, beside my own, that could have pulled this off. We found the trojan horse program you put on Fred's laptop that let you control all of Fred's traps remotely.

Pericles

Fred really should have come up with a more secure password than "trappin' guy".

Shaggy

Once you had control of the traps, it was like totally simple to simulate a haunting and terrify the Mayor.

Velma

And your avian attributes provided the means to make your spooky shadow creep float like a real ghost.

Daphne

Too bad for you your avian diet gave you away.

Pericles

Oh, what can I say? A bird's got to eat.

It still doesn't explain where my dad is, and why you were haunting him.

Pericles

Why do you think? I wanted his piece of the Planispheric Disk, of course. I knew he would have it close. I just didn't know where. So I decided to scare it out of him.

(looks at the mysterious piece) Planispheric Disk? (to Pericles) But how did you know he had it in the first place?

Pericles

Because, dear friend, he stole it from me a long time ago. (the gang is confused) Don't believe me? Ask him yourself. (takes off the Shadowy Figure costume and pushes the remote control's button that changes the stairs to slide, Fred unhands the piece of the Planispheric Disk and the gang falls down to the basement) (takes the piece #1 of the Planispheric Disk) I am the smartest criminal parrot in the world! You didn't think I have a back-up plan? (laughs) Until we meet again. Auf wiedersehen, Mystery Incorporated. (flies away)

Did you know we were standing on a trap?

(grabs Daphne) Honestly, there's so many in this house, I've kinda lost track.

Shaggy

Zoinks! Another ghost!

Dad! (releases Daphne and uncovers the sheet) You're okay!

Mayor Jones

Dimpled puppet eggs, Fred! I am clearly not okay. Untie me.

(unties his dad) Dad, the house wasn't haunted at all. It was Professor Pericles.

Mayor Jones

Pericles? Are you sure? Did he get the--?

Daphne

Planispheric Disk? Yeah. He said you stole it from him.

Mayor Jones

That's... that's absurd! We confiscated it off him years ago, when we locked him up. I've felt it was best to keep it here, safe. That's why I went back in for it.

Velma

Mayor Jones, why would Professor Pericles want that piece of the Disk so badly?

Mayor Jones

Oof! Ha! Ha! How should I know? Are you kids trying to imply something? Because if you are--

No, no, dad. We're just all really happy you're okay. That's what's important, right, gang? This mystery is over. (hugs Mayor Jones)

Daphne

I'm not sure this mystery is over at all.

Velma

Time to reveal who Dead Justice really is. (unmasks Dead Justice)

Deputy Bucky?

Sheriff Stone

What? Bucky, you were like a father to me!

You're 20 years older than me!

Sheriff Stone

There's no proof of that. Why'd you do it?

Velma

Sheriff, I think we can explain.

Daphne

Bucky was tired of being just a deputy. He craved the power and prestige of the Sheriff's office.

Bucky failed every one of his promotion exams. But it wasn't just his grades that got me thinking.

Shaggy

Like, Bucky's a doodler, and his drawings looked an awful lot like Dead Justice's demon bullets.

Velma

Bucky disguised himself as the Ghost of Dead Justice and chased down the town's most wanted.

Daphne

He knew nothing would hurt Sheriff Stone more than losing his job to his hero.

The only thing I don't understand is how he created those bullets.

CGI. It's all CGI these days. I programmed a laser pointer to simulate the animation.

Sheriff Stone

Much as I hate to admit it, I owe you kids one. (Fred puts his hand on Sheriff's shoulder but he lets it go)

Now, Regina, time to come clean and reveal that you're-- (unmasks The Obliteratrix)

Alice May?

Who's Alice May?

Daphne

She once pretended to be a Ghost Girl to kidnap Fred for her man posse because she wanted revenge for her father, the Creeper.

Shaggy

But, like, how did you get out of jail?

I got out with the help of the same person who sent me to destroy you... Mr. E!

Huh?

Angel Dynamite

Huh?

E enlisted my services to put you kids in danger in hopes of drawing out his enemy, Professor Pericles. He figured if Pericles thought you were in trouble, he'd come to your rescue. E knew if he could get Pericles to reveal himself, it'd leave his piece of the Planispheric Disk vulnerable. Everything was fake. Special effects.

Shaggy

But, like, where'd you get all the high-tech stuff? How'd you disappear?

E took care of that. It was all courtesy of one of Destroido's shell corporations: Quest Research Laboratories. They supplied me with everything I needed: Weapons, a high-tech cloaking device, even the effects.

Angel Dynamite

(handcuffs Alice) So this was all staged by Mr. E to use the kids as parrot bait.

That's right. And it would have worked, too, if I hadn't been stopped by you, Miss meddling sassy pants! (Next scene in the police car with Sheriff Stone and Alice May arrested)

Sheriff Stone

Wait, so are you telling me that you escaped from prison months ago, and I never noticed? (laughs) I don't think so. (drives away)

Well, Angel, it looks like we owe you one.

Yeah. You saved our tails.

Daphne

How'd you know where we were?

Velma

It's time, Angel. I can't keep this secret anymore.

Angel Dynamite

I wanted to tell you kids earlier, but I was afraid.

Afraid of what?

Angel Dynamite

Of telling you the truth. My real name isn't Angel Dynamite. It's Cassidy Williams. I'm one of the original members of Mystery Incorporated that disappeared.

What?

It was all an accident. We should have never been in that condemned church. But Brad said he'd seen someone coming and going at night, and he wanted to investigate. We thought we'd found a treasure map, but it wasn't treasure; it was a threat, to not just our lives but the lives of our families. The thing in those caves forced us to leave Crystal Cove, or those who loved us would pay the price. (Shaggy and Scooby are terrified)

Shaggy

L-l-like, who threatened you?

He called himself the Freak. The Freak of Crystal Cove. There, now you know the truth. That's what happened to the original Mystery Incorporated, and it will happen to all of you if you don't stop! Forget about the Planispheric Disk. Give Pericles your piece, or Mr. E. I don't care. The mystery is over. Let it end tonight!

You lied to us, Angel. You've been lying to us from the beginning. Why should we listen to anything you have to say to us now? This mystery isn't over until we say it's over. Come on, gang.

No. No, you don't understand. He's still out there. (The gang drives away) The Freak is still out there!

Dad, I'm sorry. We just...

Mayor Jones

Uh, uh, uh. I can't hear you. My ears are too clogged with disappointment.

[to Daphne] You are forbidden to see the Jones boy ever again.

Daphne

What?! Mom, dad, you can't do that! Just listen for a second! Fred and I are engaged!

YOU'RE WHAT?!

Daphne

Engaged. So you can't split us apart. Right, Fred? Fred?

What? Oh, uh... right! I love Daphne. She's the most important thing in my life, besides the gang, mystery-solving, traps, my dad... truthfully, it's a five-way tie.

Daphne

[groans] We're getting married as soon as we graduate.

Nan

[gasps and drops Barty and points to Mayor Jones] This is your fault, Mystery Incorporated is over!

Daphne

Fred!

Daphne!

Daphne

Freddy!

NO! [whispers as Mayor Jones pulls him away] Shaggy, Scooby, guard the disk piece in your room. Velma...

Velma

[grabs scroll and hides it behind her back] I'm already on it.

You all know me. You know how I earn a living. I'm a bad clown. Stopping me ain't going to be easy. There's no string and a net to catching me like Mano Tiki Tia or Redbeard's ghost. This Crybaby Clown swallow your town whole. (chuckles) You want your tourism back? You're gonna pay me $5 million. For that, you get the pacifier, the rattle, the whole darn clown. So what's it going to be? Me, or Mystery Incorporated?

Sheriff Stone

Well, it sounds like a good deal to me. I'll start passing the hat. So long, mystery goofs.

Hold on, Clown! That is our town.

Shaggy

(chuckles nervously) That's right! And we don't need money to protect it. Although it would be nice-- (Velma hits him with elbow) Ow!

Velma

Freddie, I think it's trapping time.

Right, Velma! And I know the perfect g-- the perfect-- ah-- I-- guh!

Mayor Nettles

What's wrong?

I-- my trapping knowledge! It's gone! My mind is-- is empty!

Wahh wahh. So tragic. Oh, well, I offered. (The door closes abruptly and the lights are shut off) Time's up, Crystal Cove.

Velma

Well, I think it's safe to say, if the town didn't hate us before. This should certainly do the trick.

Freddie? Are you okay?

No, Scoob, I'm not. My trap failed, and for the first time, the bad guy got away. And it's my fault.

Shaggy

We're all responsible, Fred. We're a team, remember?

That's just it, Shaggy. We're not a team. Not without Daphne. And now I know... she's never coming back.

And now let's see who Crybaby Clown really is. (unmasks the Crybaby Clown)

Baylor Hotner!

That's right-ner. Actor, humanitarian, guy with amazingly super awesome abs. I came here to Crystal Cove to research the part of a crazed clown for my upcoming blockbuster movie, "The Night the Clown Cried". It was gonna be my Oscar. Using my knowledge of Hollywood makeup and effects and a trick buggy I stole from the back lot, I honed my crazed clown performance to perfection. Then, I built my entourage: a therapist, a hairdresser, a plastic surgeon, and a publicist. Everything I needed to be a great actor. Of course, I put tracking chips in all of them because you have to know where your posse is at all times. I even had an innocent small-town girl that would make me look like the nicest guy. I had it all! And I would have been the world's greatest Hollywood thespian, too, if it hadn't have been for you small-town scene stealers.

Daphne

(slaps Baylor) Small-town that, Baylor Hotner. These are my friends. Take him away, Sheriff.

Daphne

Thanks, guys. You, uh, really saved me.

Shaggy

Like, you're one of us.

Um, you know, Daphne, you could come back to me... to the gang, I mean.

Daphne

Really? I'd like that. Very much.

(hugs Daphne) Hooray! Daphne's back. Group hug. (Fred, Velma, and Shaggy hug Daphne) Scooby-Dooby-Doo! And Daphne, too. (laughs)

Velma

Let's see who's really behind all this junk. (grabs the TV head of Junk)

I don't get it.

Daphne

Wait for it. We discovered the strange paralysis of Eeko, Clio, and worker number one had been caused by a rare strand of brewers yeast. Used only in Bavaria. That allowed us to reverse the effect.

Velma

These guys have been frozen to recreate a picture by the famous Bavarian artist Albrecht von Cartofokauf. So we knew we were looking for someone German.

I... I still don't get it.

Daphne

Here's why Randy Warsaw. The real culprit is (grabs the head out of Junk) Butch Furbanks.

Fine, you got me. But don't expect my introspective personality to register guilt.

Daphne

His real name is Hans van Shanengruber.

Velma

Before Butch joined "Sunday Around Noonish" he released an album of classical accordion music. It reached number one in the Bravarian hit parade. But soon fizzled.

Using powerful electro magnets, and his expert knowledge of musical instruments, Butch was able to control your junk sculpture and make it attack you.

Shaggy

Like the only thing we don't know is why?

Alright, look I did it for art.

That can't be right, can it?

Okay, that's a lie. The truth is I hated what you made me in to. All I ever wanted to do was play polkas in a Bravarian Oompa band. A beautiful dream that I lived until I came to work for you, Randy Warsaw. You changed me. You transformed me. Molded me in to a dark band leader, playing and singing horrible intellectual music. You took everything from me. And I wanted to make you pay. Pay! And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling polka haters. (Sheriff takes Butch into custody) (to Scooby) Oh and your singing stinks, nobody understands a word you're saying.

That's outrageous!

Well, thank you, Mystery Incorporated. You've saved modern art from the clutches of the boudoir. There's only one this left to say: I find you all horribly, horribly boring. So, get out of here. Shoo, shoo. Go away. (leaves)

Uh, Mr. Warsaw, can I keep the wig?

Velma! Scooby! We heard explosions. Are you okay?

Oh! What have you done to our cemetery?

Velma

What we've done is capture the Graveyard Ghoul. And now, let's see who he really is. (unmasks the Graveyard Ghoul) Evallo.

Shaggy

Well, what do you know? It really was the most obvious suspect. (chuckles) Who would have guessed?

Velma

Evallo was stealing natural gas from the Crystal Cove gas company.

Yes, that is right. I did it. I, count Evallo von Meanskrieg, developed a perfectly evil plan und used my position as gravedigger to cover my activities. But the crowd from the Mayor's movie night meant someone might notice what I was up to. I had to scare them off! Thus, my genius evil plan of the Graveyard Ghoul was born. Unfortunately, the flame-broiling grill was incredibly dangerous so close to my gas lines. I had to stop it. Which led to my capture. Sadly, I, the evil count Evallo von Meanskrieg, would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for this Sheriff and his American-style barbecue.

Sheriff Stone

(closes the police car door) You all saw that, right? I caught the right guy, and on purpose! (drives away)

Daphne

How in the world did a ship get all the way up here?

Velma

Maybe this can tell us. It's the ship's manifest. The writing's in Español, but I aced honor's Spanish. I can translate. "I fear I may have doomed us all. After months of filling our hold... "

...with treasure, we were about to set sail when word was delivered of an even greater prize: a sarcophagus of the purest crystal, filled to the brim with black pearls of immense value. A king's ransom! The men and I were overtaken with a desire to find this great treasure. And after several months of searching, find it we did. What we didn't realize was that the Entity that dwelled inside that crystal sarcophagus had been searching for us as well. In our thirst for power and wealth, we had discovered a terrible evil. It preyed upon our fears, driving us to commit Horrible acts. Finally, in an act of desperation to stop what we had become, I set the ship ashore on the mission coast, in a cove we named after what we would soon bring there: Crystal Cove.

Shaggy

Zoinks! Ha ha! Like, that means...

These are the conquistadors that founded our town!

Daphne

The ones that disappeared!

I used the arcanical Disco Planisférico, to map our location, and we buried the evil treasure deep, deep underground. Then, we broke the disk into 6 pieces and went our separate ways. I concealed my piece aboard the ship and artfully protected it by a large number of lethal mechanical devices. I brought the ship here, to the top of this mountain, to stay hidden forever.

Velma

It's signed Fernando El Aguirre, captain of the "Santa Lucia" of Spain.

Daphne

Jeepers! You know what this means? The fifth piece of the Planispheric Disk is right here on this ship!

Shaggy

Then let's find it and get out of here before that crazy chick shows up again! Hoo-hoo!

Yeah!

Daphne

Looks like Hebediah Grim won't be judging anybody, now that we know he's really...

Gary and Ethan.

Ugh! How did you know?

Gary

Yeah! We were, like, totally sneaky!

Velma

Not so totally, I'm afraid. The odd indentations in Hebediah Grim's footprints turned out to be soccer cleat marks. Gary's chat video was pre-recorded. I hacked your laptop and found the original recordings.

Two missing costumes meant there could be two Hebediah Grims.

Shaggy

Like, worst of all, you guys tried to frame Doogle McGuiness by putting a yearbook on his porch: Ethan's yearbook!

Velma

So judge that, you losers. (throws the yearbook hardly) Boo-yah! Who wants to judge me now? Huh? Who? You want to judge me? You? In your face! YEAH!

Velma, you're scaring me.

The real question is, why? Why did you guys do it?

Girls.

Gary

Duh. We wanted to terrify girls and then rescue them so they'd fall for us, just like the knights did in the old west before the dragons went away.

Yeah. Knights terrorize and save damsels to score dates with them all the time.

Huh. I never thought about it that way.

Daphne

But why did you both dress up?

We don't trust each other. Tag-teaming was the only option.

Gary

And we would have gotten away with it if any of you mystery, stink losers had lives.