Sheriff Stone quotes from Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated

Velma

Another mystery bites the dust.

Way to go, gang!

Daphne

Let's celebrate!

Yeah, celebrate. (Sheriff Stone closes the cell door)

Huh?!

Sheriff Stone

Better idea.

Aw, come on, Sheriff.

Sheriff Stone

Just cork it. You see this badge? Know why it's here?

Velma

It came with the shirt?

Sheriff Stone

It's here because if there's a crime, I solve it. (goes to the office door) Oh, and by the way, I've called all your parents, who by now I have on speed dial. (mocking) Oh, are you in trouble. Especially you, Fred. Say hi to dad, the Mayor. (leaves)

Daphne

Just once it would be nice if someone thanked us for solving a mystery.

Good thing we're not in this to be liked. (Scooby, Shaggy, Velma and Daphne look a little annoying to him) You know, that didn't come out quite right.

Sheriff Stone

All right, you see what happens when you kids stick your noses where they don't belong? People get cocooned!

Shaggy

Like, man, we found them like that.

Daphne

(trying to show what she means with her hands) Sheriff, there was a monster…

Sheriff Stone

Quiet. From this point forward this is a crime scene and future tourist attraction - stay out of it. (walks away)

Velma

I gotta stay out of it right here. (holds up fist)

Let me talk to him. (walks away)

Daphne

(dreamily) Don't worry. Fred will make him understand.

(runs back carrying body) Shaggy, start the car!

Shaggy

Like, I thought you were going to talk to him.

He wasn't in a listening mood.

Velma

(opens back of the van) So you stole a body? Rockin'. (Fred throws the body in the trunk)

Don't worry. I know just who can help us. (school bell rings)

All right. Who can tell me what photosynthesis is? (they all raised their hands up) And please don't say "plant farts". (they all lowered their hands) (sighs) (door opens and Professor Raffalo sees Fred and Shaggy carrying the body in the classroom)

Professor Raffalo, we need your help. (classmates scream and run out)

Emmanuel

Couldn't you kids have waited for break?

Daphne

Fred! You saved me!

Not right now, Daphne. I have to figure out why my trap didn't work.

Sheriff Stone

What is going on here?

Mayor Jones

Why is the town's latest tourist attraction cocooned to the wall?

Dad, Sheriff, hold on. You don't understand. That is not a monster.

Mayor Jones

Oh, hopping steamed clams, Fred. Then who is it?

Franklin Fruitmeir.

Velma

He was trying to rob Crystal Cove bank.

Sheriff Stone

Uhh, that's impossible. Franklin Fruitmeir's the one who called us. (Franklin arrives)

What?

I was making a clipper ship out of circus balloons when the silent alarm rang at my home. Oh, good gracious! What is that?

Shaggy

But if the monster isn't Franklin Fruitmeir, then, dude, who is it?

Professor Emmanuel Raffalo?

Emmanuel

That's right. I was trying to scare people away from the sewers while I dug my way into the bank and got rich.

Daphne

But you've got a job as a teacher. Why do you need more money?

Daphne

Yeah, my bad.

Oh, yeah, right.

Shaggy

You're really getting ripped off.

Emmanuel

I discovered that the Crystal Cove caves were connected to the sewer by accident while collecting mold spores for my class. Once I realized the cave led right under the bank, I put my plan into motion. Fruitmeier's gave me secret access to the sewer, so I decided to frame balloon boy for the crime by using his disgusting dessert. I staged my own disappearance to throw doubt on any hint of my involvement. Oh, it was foolproof, genius. That is, until you... you...

Sheriff Stone

Meddling.

Emmanuel

Meddling! Yes, meddling kids and your blasted dog ruined everything.

Daphne

Wait. (shows the locket) What about this locket we found where you were digging? (Mayor Jones is angrier and shocked when he saw the locket)

Emmanuel

Never seen it before.

Sheriff Stone

Alright. Well, guess we owe you kids thanks. You did save the bank. Although you also lost the town a serious revenue stream. Stream of revenue!!!

Time to find out who these greedy gators really are. (unmasks the Creeping Creatures)

Daphne

Grady Gator?

Shaggy

Greta Gator?

Gunther Gator?

But why?

After we ran out of gators, everybody moved OUT of Gatorsburg. But not us.

This here's our home.

Daphne

So with no alligators left, you decided to make imitation gator products and pass them off as real.

Velma

But you couldn't have anyone snooping around Gatorsburg. So you created the Creeping Creatures to scare people away.

Then you could run your gator ring without anyone knowing who you were or what you were up to.

Shaggy

Like, that is one ridiculous plan.

And you know what? We would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling juveniles and your unauthorized investigation of our synthetic gator accessories.

Sheriff Stone

You're telling me this gator stuff is fake? I paid a fortune for this track suit!

Velma

Sorry, Sheriff.

Sheriff Stone

(sighs) Man, I gotta get out of this suit. This fake gator doesn't breathe. It's starting to smell a little... funky. Arrest them... [pauses] even though I have absolutely NO JURISDICTION HERE!! (drives away)

Wait, Sheriff. can you give us a ride? The Mystery Machine isn't...

(gasps)

Shaggy

Zoinks! Like, there's no engine in the Mystery Machine. It's haunted.

Velma

It's from Mr. E.

Daphne

(opens the letter and reads) "Hope you had a good time in Gatorsburg. But be warned, there are more mysteries to come. This is only one piece of the puzzle".

Puzzle? What's that supposed to mean?

Shaggy

Like, I've got a bad feeling we're gonna find out. (The lightning thunderstorms appears loudly in the sky, Shaggy grabs Scooby whimpers)

Sheriff Stone

And so you're saying this ghost truck disappeared like a, uh... ghost truck.

Yep, that's pretty much it.

Sheriff Stone

Well, looks like you kids might have stumbled onto a new tourist attraction.

Shaggy

Tourist attraction? Like, man, it nearly dumped us in the cove!

Velma

Besides, we're not even sure it was a ghost!

Sheriff Stone

I'm sorry, but didn't you say there was no driver? That's textbook ghost truck, case closed!

Daphne

They can't just leave all the kids!

Sheriff Stone

They'll be fine. We'll air drop in some freeze dried camp food. Just because they're 'spookified' doesn't mean they can't reconstitute macaroni!

Mayor Jones

What in the name of whole wheat toast is going on?

We got him, dad.

You mean her.

Mary Anne Gleardan.

Mayor Jones

Your tutor? But why?

I was trying to scare all the adults out of Crystal Cove so I could run the city my way. (hocking) (to Fred) I told you, I have brilliant ideas. (to everyone) With all the adults gone, there's be no one to stand in my way. I learned about the legend of Qué Horrífico in Dr. Portillo's honors class. It was the perfect solution. I used the high school's theater department for my costume. I went to every kindergarten and elementary school in the city to convince the children to pretend to be spookified. In return I offered them Utopia! When that didn't work, I offered them candy. Whenever the children heard me playing the pan flute, that was their signal to put on their fake hair and fangs and commence spookification. I almost had the whole town cleared of adults. I would have, too, if it weren't for you (speaks latin)

Huh?

(sighs) Loosely translated it means "Meddlesome kids" in latin.

I'm going home. I miss my mom and dad. (The other kids say goodbyes and walk into their homes) By the way, this was lame. (Sheriff Stone handcuffs Mary Anne)

Wait, you're taking me to jail?! But I'm just a kid!

Sheriff Stone

Do you know how many boxes we're stuck with of Qué Horrífico t-shirts, Qué Horrífico pamphlets, Qué Horrífico dance CDs, Qué Horrífico--?

Okay, okay. I see your point.

Don't touch me!

Mayor Jones

(arrives with Sheriff Stone) Hazy fantasie, Fred. Didn't you hear me when I said, "if you see a ghost girl, do not go to the prom with her".?

Don't worry, dad. She may look like a ghost girl, but in reality she's... (unmasks the ghost girl) Alice May. Or she's also known as...

Alice Carlswell.

Sheriff Stone

Carlswell? As in Deacon Carlswell? The Creeper?

That is right. He was my father. When daddy was in prisoned, I vowed revenge on those who put him there. I used his old costume to construct my own. When I found the legend of the evil ghost girl online, I was ready to spring my trap. I grabbed that fool Randy to throw you all off the track. And I kept him hidden and fed in my father's crypt until I could let him go. After that, it was just a matter of getting rid of your precious leader, and Fred. I'm going to zap your gang the way you feeded my father. And I would have succeeded, too, if it weren't for you meddling... schoolmates... of mine.

Sheriff Stone

All right, now let me get this straight; these T-shirts are fifty dollars each, this is cotton, right? The kind that comes from cows?

Velma

Sheriff, you need to focus. The phantom has already taken Daphne!

Sheriff Stone

Right. Where's Daphne?

The phantom took her away!

Sheriff Stone

All right, now we're getting somewhere! And by the way, what's wrong with the Jones kid? He's acting a little... squirrely.

Mayor Jones

(arrives with Sheriff Stone) Bug-eyed biscuits, Fred. Couldn't you have waited until after the show to catch the phantom?

Sorry, dad. Not with Daphne in danger. (unmasks the phantom)

Daniel Frizette?

Shaggy

Or, like, should we call you Fantzee Pantz?

Fantzee Pantz?

Doth my eye shadow deceive? How did you know?

The villain had to be someone close to the Hex Girls to access the stage.

Shaggy

And the Hex Girls' equipment.

And their bus.

Velma

Someone with a grudge against the Hex Girls.

The Hex Girls took my career. I tried to get revenge by writing bad songs for them, but they can make anything a hit. So, I became the phantom. And I'd do it again if it weren't for the uncanny boy band knowledge of you meddling brats!

Sheriff Stone

Let's go.

Sheriff Stone

No admittance. This is a quarantined area. Besides, the movie's already started.

You're showing them a movie?

Shaggy

Yeah, aren't they, like, frozen with gnomey magic?

Sheriff Stone

I already saw the movie. Believe me, magically frozen is the perfect viewing state to be in.

Now let's see who you really are. (unmasks the Gnome)

(gasp) The Court Fool? Uh-Oh.

That's my husband, Gill Littlefoot! What did you think you were doing, fool? (hits Gill with her staff)

What I've wanted to do for years: Frame you for the gnome attacks. And once you were out of the way, take your fortune for my own. (Amanda hits him again) Ow! Will you stop that?

Velma

But you're too tall. How could you ever be the gnome?

There's a reason our family name is Littlefoot. (takes off the gnome disguise to reveal his real size) (Everyone gasp) I planned this over a year. And while I've always hid my tiny legs, this finally provided me a way to make them useful. Since Amanda's dislike of pirates was well known, I planted her earring on a victim, hoping to throw suspicion her way. I used my toxin-coated gloves to paralyze all the pirates, but you would not quit. The beautiful part is that because of my--

Sheriff Stone

I believe the medical term is baby legs.

No one would have ever suspected me. That is, until you, meddling, gnome-hating, pirate-loving--

Sheriff Stone

Yeah, yeah, Shrimpo, we got the picture.

(annoyed) All these years, you've looked down on me. Now it turns out I'm actually taller than you. (hits Gill again with her staff)

Ow!

Sheriff Stone

Let's go, little footy. (laughs)

Mayor Jones

Boy, I had big plans for him! Thanks for nothing-- again.

Anytime, pop.

Mayor Jones

So they didn't show! I don't see why we couldn't just seize the ticket money as evidence. Prancing piccolos, Fred. One of your traps actually worked!

Sheriff Stone

Greetings, big and hairy space travelers. As a representative of planet Earth, I welcome you.

Velma

I'm afraid these two aren't space travelers, Sheriff. I'd like to introduce (unmasks the Green Humungonaut) Max Minner and (unmasks the Red Humungonaut) Jax Minner.

Sheriff Stone

It's the Minner brothers? They've been taking care of all of Crystal Cove's insurance needs for years.

Mayor Jones

But how did you know they'd both show up here?

Velma

All I did was double insure the boat repair shop with a policy from both brothers. You see, each brother was only attacking the places the other brother insured.

Mayor Jones

But why?

What do you think? Money.

And the fact that we can't stand each other.

Oh, yeah. That, too.

This intense dislike started back when we were circus strongmen. We had just come up with a great idea for our act: The Hercules apes...

Sheriff Stone

Humongonauts is catchier.

When this jerk decides to break up our act and join a rival circus.

Huh! You were just jealous.

We became bitter enemies who, as chance would have it, both went into the insurance business here in Crystal Cove.

After that, we each focused on the same thing: Destroying each other's business.

And it would have worked, too, if it weren't for...

My meddling brother! (look each other) What? Why, you... (start fighting)

Velma

Mystery solved.

Sheriff Stone

What's going on? I heard what sounded like some sort of hideous, undying machine in here.

Daphne

We've solved the mystery of the Fright Hound.

And your culprit is... (opens the hood of the mysterious person)

Jason's mom?

That's right, it was me all along. I saw how you treated my Jason at school. So naturally I did what any mother would do. I built a demonic robot dog to destroy you! I framed your little doggy friend to break you up, leaving Jason a clear shot at his true love. But when you showed up and blamed him of all things, I decided to GET RID OF YOU ALL! I gave up a career in military robotics to raise my son, not to watch him get triped on!

Now Velma will never want to be my girlfriend. And she would have, too, if it weren't for my meddling mom!

Velma

I'm sorry, Jason. I should have been clearer with you earlier. But you and me, it's just not gonna happen. But we can still be friends.

Really?

Velma

Yeah. You took that very well.

And you touched my knuckle again. Ha ha! (kisses his fingers)

Now, get him!

Grandma Moonbeam?

Mayor Jones

Did we miss it? Where are the bugs?

You're the Cicada Creature? But why?

Isn't it obvious? I wanted to shut down Destroido. I found out they added a secret ingredient to make nature slivers more tasty: Landfill waste! I demanded that they return to my original healthy recipe, but they refused, and because they owned it, there was nothing I could DO. I vowed to get even. I saw a Norwegian documentary about a researcher using sound waves to control penguins' movements. I decided to adapt the idea for my revenge. Since I didn't have any penguins, I used cicadas. And I would have succeeded, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling young people.

Sheriff Stone

Well, now, it's the big house for you, grandma. Let's go.

Mayor Jones

(sighs) Why can't anything in this town ever turn out to be real?

Glad we could help, dad.

Velma

Well, another mystery successfully solved.