CCCrybaby Clown
You all know me. You know how I earn a living. I'm a bad clown. Stopping me ain't going to be easy. There's no string and a net to catching me like Mano Tiki Tia or Redbeard's ghost. This Crybaby Clown swallow your town whole. (chuckles) You want your tourism back? You're gonna pay me $5 million. For that, you get the pacifier, the rattle, the whole darn clown. So what's it going to be? Me, or Mystery Incorporated?
Well, it sounds like a good deal to me. I'll start passing the hat. So long, mystery goofs.
Hold on, Clown! That is our town.
(chuckles nervously) That's right! And we don't need money to protect it. Although it would be nice-- (Velma hits him with elbow) Ow!
Freddie, I think it's trapping time.
Right, Velma! And I know the perfect g-- the perfect-- ah-- I-- guh!
Mayor NettlesWhat's wrong?
I-- my trapping knowledge! It's gone! My mind is-- is empty!
CCCrybaby Clown
Wahh wahh. So tragic. Oh, well, I offered. (The door closes abruptly and the lights are shut off) Time's up, Crystal Cove.
Now, it's time to see who the Scarebear really is.
(Fred unmasks Scarebear)
EEveryone
Benson Fuhrman?
BBenson
That's right. And Fuhrman isn't my real name. It's Hairmore.
BBenson
Isn't it obvious, man? Hairmore would give me away as the Scarebear and, duh. All I wanted was to expose Destroido for the sick, soul-destroying evil that it is. Destroido ruins lives and pays the victims to keep quiet. Well, this is one victim who won't remain quiet any longer.
How are you a victim? You look fine.
BBenson
Do I, pretty scarlet-headed temptress? What if I told you that I am not, in fact, wearing a bear suit, but I'm covered completely in animal hair?
BBenson
It would be covered, too, square-jawed, handsome young hero, if I didn't have to shave every few hours just to maintain my non-hirsute appearance. You see: I purchased a bottle of gentle rain flower body wash for men, a heavenly scent designed to bring the ladies running. What I didn't know was that the company, Musky Farms, is a division of Destroido, and that there's a side effect. When I contacted Destroido about the product turning me into a hairy bear-man, the company acted as if what had happened to me was nothing. They tried to pay me off. Destroido ruined my life. So I was determined to find evidence that their body wash was toxic. I got the job as head of security and created the Scarebear suit out of taxidermied bear parts. I'm particularly proud of the claws which I purchased from a school for gifted children. I discovered that gentle rain flower was originally marketed as a lawn growth fertilizer that was so toxic, it destroyed an entire town. They didn't even change the formula. I was in the process of uploading the incriminating files to my website when you kids broke into my lab. My plan was to finally expose Destroido tonight at their own charity ball. I wanted to show the entire world what they had done. And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling, mutant animal-hating kids.
Gee. I feel kind of bad that we got in the way. Destroido deserves to be exposed.
Unfortunately, since Destroido is its own sovereign nation, I can't arrest anyone.
Oh, Sheriff! (hugs Sheriff Stone) You're wonderful!
Mayor Nettles
I'll explain it later.
Like, speaking of explaining, we still don't know who set the bomb.
Mayor Nettles
All the roads leading in and out of the city have been eaten. They're cutting us off.
Perhaps as-- as-- a species our time is over. It's evolution, people. We should all submit to the herd. I think I'll see if they're hiring any Sheriffs.
Mayor Nettles
Bronson, although I find your immediate surrender oddly endearing, you're not going anywhere. Kids, there must be a way to stop these things.
I think I have it. It's all the little pieces, all the clues. Especially the fact that Professor Pericles referred to all the skull cattle as male drones. And then there's the sweet cheese.
I think I see where you're going with this, Daph. If Scooby and I can eat all that honey sweet cheese, those things will starve and we'll save the town.
Count me in. I'm ready to eat my way to victory.
That's not what I was thinking. They're like bees. The herd is all male drones. So there must be a queen in the cow hive at Destroido.
Daphne, that's so genius I should have thought of it. They'll be totally protective of their queen. If we could capture the queen cow...
We could use her to lead the herd away from the town.
Mayor Nettles
Saving Crystal Cove.
I don't know. I don't know. I think my plan of letting the herd enslave humanity is pretty darn good.
My fake father mayor dad used to keep a helicopter here at city hall.
Mayor Nettles
I still have it. Quick, it's our only chance.
Mayor Nettles
You did it, kids. You saved the town.
I feel a little sorry for those skull cattle. It's not their fault they're horrible genetically engineered mutations.
Look. (The horrible herd rise in the ocean) Those things are part fish, remember? They can swim.
(The horrible herd swim away from Crystal Cove)
You mean, like, other than release unnatural super predators into the ecosystem?
It's best to just walk away from this one, kids. Just... walk... away.
(Everyone walk away from the horrible herd in the ocean)
Mayor Nettles
These citizens were found at the Tiki Tub. They're dancing, and they can't stop.
That dance is called skanking. It's how you're meant to dance to ska music. And you said dance class was a waste of time.
Oy. Doctor, what's the prognosis?
DDoctor
If we can't find a cure within 24 hours, they will dance themselves into a permanent cataleptic state. They will become zombies for the rest of their lives!
(The gang is shocked)
Mayor Nettles
Sorry to bother you so early, kids. But the neighbors have been calling in constantly with reports of unearthly moaning, inhuman howling, blood curling screams...
In other words, same old same old.
You can count on us, Mayor Nettles.
We'll see if there's anything mysterious going on here.
Mayor Nettles
(leaves) Thanks, kids.
Come on, come on, let's go! Let's get this over with.
After we're finished here, we need to relocate the Planispheric Disk.
Good idea, Scoob. Yeah, you and I will re-hide the disc while you guys check out the scary house.
You're out of luck, Shaggy. Remember? Fred hid the Disk last time. And he's the only one who knows where it is.
Oy, can we hurry? Please?
Okay, let's get started. But first, well gang, it looks like we got another...
Mystery on our hands! Oh, Fred, we're such soul mates. We're finishing each other's sentences.
SVShaggy, Velma and Scooby
Split up and look for clues?
(The gang splits)
Like, I guess that means we're all soul mates, haha.
It's time to see who this ancient jade mask wearing weirdo really is. (unmasks Priestess)
SSScooby, Shaggy, Velma, Daphne and Fred
Professor Andelusossa?
He was staring us in the face all along. When the men in the village thought I was my mom, it was clear that no one was able to forget her over all these years. Then there were the vines. This plant isn't native to the Yucatan. Only someone with a background in gardening could have cultivated it and made it grow so quickly. Professor Andelusossa's first job was as a gardener. Finally, the vines on the boat had been tied to the wheel. The boat had been scuttled to make it look like the Professor had been attacked.
PAProf. Andelusossa
For love. Angie, when you left me that summer decades ago, you took my heart with you. Every night seems like I dreamed of you. When you called asking about the Heart of the Jaguar, I knew it was my only chance to lure you back, and find out if you still cared for me.
So you decided to test her love by crushing her with fast-growing killer plants! Wow. That's exactly what I would have done.
Oh, Freddie. That's so romantic. In your usual, unique kind of way.
PAProf. Andelusossa
And I would have gotten away with it, too, if... (sighs) if you had really loved me.
Oh, Enrique, sweetie, that was all years ago. There's only one man I ever truly loved, and that's my husband, Mr. Dinkley.
AMrs. Andelusossa
(arrives) Enrique, you are not a man! You're a fool! (spits saliva to Fred's head)
AMrs. Andelusossa
Mrs. Dinkley, you have won. You can have him!
UWUnknown woman
(arrives) Then I'll take him!
AAAngie, Mrs. Andelusossa and Prof. Andelusossa
Huh?!
UWUnknown woman
Tomina Kasanski. Call sign: Ice princess. I've been tracking you ever since you left Crystal Cove.
Mayor Nettles
(arrives) Because I asked her to.
Mayor Nettles
Lieutenant Kasanski is an old friend of mine from Fighter Weapons School. (she and Tomina Kasanski clapped their hands)
But why are you following us?
Mayor Nettles
Well, it's kind of embarrassing, but three days ago, I had a nightmare that told me you were in trouble and that I had to come to the Yucatan to help you get some spear thingie.
Mayor Nettles
Yeah, that! I'm supposed to help you get it back over the border and home to Crystal Cove.
Okay, that's it. I give up.
TKTomina Kasanski
Grab your prisoner and let's haul. I got a c130 waiting in an air strip 30 clicks from here. (takes Prof. Andelusossa into custody)
Well, gang, let's go home. We have an Evil Entity to destroy.
(arrives with Mayor Nettles and four children) Hey, you kids. Nice to see you out and about on such a lovely day.
Like, dudes, where did that pint-sized posse come from?
Mayor wife and I are taking the kids down to the beach.
Mayor Nettles
You seem awfully forgetful, Daphne. I hope you remember you promised to baby-sit tomorrow night.
Now, Eastwood, Norris and little Billy Jack need to be asleep by 8:00. Linda Carter here can stay up as long as she likes on account of her being more adorable than her brothers.
Mayor Nettles
Oh, we better run. See you tomorrow. (leaves with Sheriff Stone and four children)
(The sign says "Crystal Cove - The Sunniest Place on Earth")
Didn't it always used to say "The Most Hauntedest Place on Earth"?
And like, check out that sign.
(reads the Darrow Mansion's sign) "Visit historic Darrow Mansion"?
Darrow Mansion sank underground.
And Danny Darrow was some kind of horrible old troll, remember? I mean, wasn't he?
(scared) Duh! What's going on?! (jumps into Shaggy's arms)
Scooby, I think that's exactly what we need to find out.
Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated · 255 quotes
