Sam Puckett quotes from Sam & Cat

Cat

  Vice President of what?

Sam

  I think it's the Vice President of America.

Cat

  Oh.  Do we know what his name is?

Sam

  Nah, we're just high school students.

Cat

  In school, we learned the ancient Indians used to weave rugs.

  What are you, dumb?

Sam

  Hey! Weave her alone.

Cat

  [Laughs] She is all up in your business!

Sam

  That red headed girl is done with her food.

  Understood! [Takes Cat's food]

Cat

  No! [Angry at Sam] You lied to a robot!

Cat

  Look, there's a naked robot!

Sam

  Where?

Cat

It's a machine!

Sam

Please don't show me what it does.

Cat

Watch what it does! [flips the switch] See? I flipped the switch, and then the machine flipped it back to its original position.

Sam

Please don't show me again.

Cat

Watch again!

Sam

  We're ceiling inspectors.

Cat

  Here to check your ceiling.

Sam

  It's the overhead kind. Put a check by that.

Cat

  Check by that!

Sam

(to Goomer) What do we call your mom?

Cat

Oh, yeah, what's her last name?

Goomer

Same as mine: Merr. So just call her Mrs. Merr.

Sam

Wait, your last name is Merr?

Goomer

Yeah, my Daddy was French, so my first name is Gieux, and my last name is Merr. See? Gieux Merr.

Sam

Gieux.

Cat

Merr. Like what those three wise guys brought baby Jesus.

Sam

(to Sikowitz) We need to use this classroom.

You strike me as pushy.

Cat

She can be pushy.

Sam

I can also be punchy and kicky.

Goomer

  Where's your motorcycle?

Sam

  Oh, it's right over—[sees motorcycle is gone]

Sam

  [violently shakes Cat] CAAAAAAAT! WAKE UP! Where is my motorcycle?! WHERE...IS...MY...MOTORCYCLE?!?!

Sam

  Anyway, don't look at it like we're babysitting ya.  You'll just be, like, crashing here with your two cool teenage buds.

Cat

  Cat and Sam.

Sam

  I don't like it when you say it that way.

Cat

  Sam and Cat.

Sam

  Better.

Sam

  Hello!  Dice!  You still there?  If you let us out now, I promise I won't break both of your legs!

Cat

  Hey, Sam.  Try to open the door to the safe so we can get outta here!

Sam

  Wow, why didn't I think of that?

Goomer

  What's the combination?

Cat

  Nine oh two nine one!

Sam

  That's our zip code.

Cat

  Five seven three two

Sam

  That's your phone number.

Cat

  I give up.

Cat

(to Oscar) But babysitting is supposed to make kids happy. Don't you wanna be happy?

Oscar

I don't know. What's it like?

Cat

Did you hear that?

Sam

You hear this? (snores)

Come on, Oscar. I'm taking you away from these irresponsible girls.

Oscar

No.

What?

Oscar

First, you apologize to Sam and Cat.

Apologize? For what?

Oscar

For shouting at them after they gave me the best day of my life. Yeah, I got hurt, real bad, but for the first time of my life, I actually had fun.

Cat

We had fun with you too, Oscar.

Sam

Kinda.

Oscar, what is your point?

Oscar

That living life trying new things is worth getting a little hurt sometimes.

Cat

Yeah, haven't you heard the 47 songs about what doesn't kill you makes you stronger?

Sam

I don't want to babysit.

Cat

We're getting paid double.

Sam

I like this plan.