Sam & Cat quotes

Sam

I don't have anywhere I really need to be, and you kinda seem like you need a roommate.

Cat

Are you saying what I think you're saying?!

Sam

Yeah.

Cat

Your gonna stay here with me in L.A. for a while and help me find a roommate?!

Sam

I already found you a roommate!

Cat

[throws her money on the couch] Shut up, who is she?!

Sam

Me!

Cat

Oh my god! [runs and hugs Sam] This is the best day ever! So much better than yesterday when we were in garbage.

Sam

Isn't it?

Hey! Aren't you Sam from iCarly?

Sam

Are you a cop?

No.

Sam

Then Yeah, I'm Sam.

Cat

What if I fall in the toilet and get stuck again?

Sam

If she gets stuck in the toilet again, would you please text me a pic of that?

Dice

  You look like Sam from that web show iCarly.

Sam

  Nah, that chick is way hotter than me.

Cat

  (giggles) She is Sam!

Dice

  Woah, you're awesome!

Sam

  Yeah.

Sam

  Uh, what are you doing?

Cat

  I'm gonna sleep next to you so you don't get scared.

Sam

  I'm not gonna get scare— Oh, whatever.

Cat

  So, how long you going to be in L.A.?

Sam

  Uh… I don't know.

Cat

  Well, don't you want to get back to Seattle?

Sam

  Eh, I'm in no rush. I mean, my best friend moved to Italy with her dad, and my mom is kind of a nut job.

  Can you take Darby?  He's heavy!  [hands the baby to Cat]

Cat

  No, you guys, I gotta go!  Here.  [hands the baby to Sam]

Sam

  Woah, I don't want this beast!  [places the baby in a flower pot]  Oh, yeah, pretty flowers.

  [inside a sack getting pushed through the front door in a trolley by some young kids]  Aah!

Cat

  Nona!

Sam

  Nice sack.

Sam

  What happened to you?

  Those little demons happened to me!

Dice

  And guess what I got today?

Cat

  Ooh, is it something?

Dice

  I got hair from Will Smith, Katy Perry.  I got Ryan Seacrest, Justin Bieber—

Cat

  How much for the Bieber?!

Dice

  Thirty dollars.

Cat

  I'll take it!

Sam

  Hey!  Don't pick up that trash can!  There's a girl in there!

Cat

  Oh, my god!  [gets tipped out of the trash can into a garbage truck]

Sam

  C'mon, elderlies love living with other elderlies!  They eat dinner at four o'clock and talk about pills.

Cat

  [pulls Sam out from inside the sofa bed]  That's not how you sleep on a sofa bed.

Cat

  Oh, please!  You saved me from being squished in garbage!  Let me repay you with the gift of bathing!