Nancy Bartlett quotes from Roseanne

Nancy

It's official, I'm settling for Arnie.

Nancy

Thank God we all brought our ovaries.

Nancy

That is so weird that he said that, because I was abducted by aliens in woods just like these one time. For a month afterward, I could play World Champion Caliber Chess. And then it just went away.

Jackie

I'll take this one. Truth or dare?

Roseanne

Truth.

Jackie

Okay. Wouldn't you really like to be partners with me and Nancy in our new restaurant?

Roseanne

You and Nancy?

Nancy

Yeah, I'm going into the business too. Isn't that wild?

Roseanne

You guys are gonna do it without me?

Jackie

You said you didn't want to do it.

Roseanne

No, I didn't! I said I couldn't do it!

Jackie

What's the difference?

Roseanne

There's a huge difference, Jackie. "I don't want to do it" means you can go ahead and do it yourself, but "I can't do it" means you can't do it either!

Nancy

I don't think you'd have such a great time there.

Jackie

Sound's like fun.

Nancy

It's a gay bar.

Jackie

Okey-dokey.

Roseanne

Well, Jackie, it doesn't bother us if it's gay.

Nancy

Well, it might. Friday is convert-a-hetero night.