Nana Mary quotes from Roseanne

Nana Mary

Hey, caveman, don't get fresh with me.

Dan

Not gettin' fresh with ya, I'm just friskin' you for silverware, you crazy bat!

Roseanne

You were pregnant with me before you married Dad?!

Nana Mary

Damn right she was. Well, we always lied about the day she got married. She got married June 1952, and you were born in November 1952. Do a little math.

Bev

You are not senile, you're just mean. You promised me that you would never tell them! [Leaves in hysterics through the kitchen] No one in this whole family cares about me! My children don't love me! You don't love me! I'm all alone! Alone!!!

Roseanne

I'm going after her, Dan. Release the dogs!

Fred

You okay, Jackie?

Jackie

Outta my way, Fred. I'm not missin' this.

Dan

Yeah, Fred, we're quite a family. Now that you've gotten one of us pregnant, it's too late to escape! [laughs maniacally]

Bev

Come out, Darlene, I can't wait to see you in my dress!

Nana Mary

Whattaya mean, your dress? It's my dress! The first time I wore that dress... Roosevelt closed the banks.

Bev

That's right! (smugly) And when I wore that dress, I had to take it in ten inches!

Nana Mary

Yeah, around the boobs!

So, how many times have you been married, Nana Mary?

Nana Mary

I'm not sure. Uh...counting the cruises I've been on.

Darlene

I got six sticks of dynamite strapped under here; the first chuckle takes us all out.

Nana Mary

Darlene, ya look lovely- and don't worry, that little baby in there doesn't show at all. Ya know, all us dames, we all got knocked up before we got married- it's like tradition!