[The trio are knitting a friendship blanket together while singing a song when they hear a banging sound from the door]
[off-screen] It's Lou. Let me in.
Shoot, it's the landlord!
Don't answer it. I don't want to deal with that pile of garbage.
Paper! He's not that bad.
No, I mean, he's literally trash.
[Rock opens the door, revealing Lou, a grumpy landlord standing in the doorway]
Lou, can you please put on pants?
Pants? What am I, rich? You'd think I work on Wall Street? Oh, look at me. I wear pants and own a sports team. Why don't I buy a Lamborghini, too, wear that around my legs?
[as the end credits roll] Look at all these Hollywood phonies. Oh, Bob. Bob pronounces it "croi-ssant." Very annoying. Kurt, he's a fancy guy! Drinks seltzer! What are you, not getting enough free air? You got to pay to drink it? And let me tell you something about Nickelodeon, and I won't let them censor this! They... [a card sequence reading, "Oops! Please stand by" appears] I hope you like this episode, 'cause now, they get a lot worse!
The Susan is always right.
Well, this is the first time The Susan has talked, remember?
We should have never changed you.
[pacing back and forth] What am I gonna do about this audition?! Without my eyebrows, no one'll read my emotions!
You seem very calm about this.
No, I'm not! I'm freaking out!
I can't-uh, do you need a snack? Are you cold? Did you slam your hand in a new or possibly old car door? [Rock draws angry eyebrows on two notepads and puts them on his forehead] Oh, oh, oh, you're upset. Don't worry. I think I can help you with my robotics invention. I'll make you… a pair of… animatronic eyebrows!
You made money by faking injuries and suing people? That's terrible.
[mockingly] Oh, moral Rock doesn't like making his money through fraudulent lawsuits.
Broke or not, you still have to pay for your pizza. Maybe it's time you stop being a bum and get a job.
[mockingly once again] Oh, judgmental Paper calls me a bum just 'cause I fit the definition of one.
Why don't you ever wanna find work? Is it because you're not really good at anything?
Yeah, Scissors is good at lot of things, like, uh, sunglasses.
Forget you guys. I'll find work when I want to.
Well, until you do, you can't have pizza with us.
In fact, every time you walk through that door, Rock and I will be eating pizza until it motivates you to get a job.
[groans] Fine! You just watch. I'll have pizza money in no time. [bumps his leg on the table] Ow, my leg or-
JJudge
In the case of Scissors vs. Paper and his dangerous coffee table, the court rules in favor of Paper.
[rips the bandages off himself] Dang it! Alright. I'll get a job.
[weakly and stuffed with a huge belly] Scissors, did you… [stomach grumbles while he clutches it] Oh. …get a job yet?
[pushes Paper aside, also stuffed with a huge belly] Please say yes.
Guys, I can't talk right now. I'm hiding out in a chamomile field.
Oh, of course you are. Then you leave us no choice. [pulls a giant pizza pie] We're going to eat the most decadent pizza ever created.
The Ultimate Meat Huggers Double Stuffed Deep Dishanator with 50 pounds… of cheese. [Rock starts crying as he eats a slice while Scissors looks confused] It's so… [grabs his stomach while groaning as it grumbles] ...good.
[whimpers as Paper eats another slice] Oh, there's pizza underneath the pizza! [he and Paper eat more slices until they fall on their sides and holding their bellies in pain]
[gets an idea] Wait. I know what I'm good at! [runs away, dropping his phone]
Oh, Rock, he ran away. We're gonna come find you, Scissors. We just want to have… [his stomach gurgles; groans] …as much fun… Oh, no. …as we're having!
No more pizza! NO MORE PIZZA!!!!!
Why is it so hot in here?
Scissors crank the heater up so he can show off his new tank top.
Check it out! It's a monster truck with enormous biceps. It's perfect for tough guys like me. I even had them print my motto on the back. "If you want the 'ceps, you do the reps."
You don't do the reps, and why are you in a tank top? It's winter. [opens the window blinds, revealing the winter sky and wind] You're gonna overload the heater like this. It can't handle… [the heater suddenly breaks down and the cold air breezes into the apartment; sighs in annoyance] Without me, you guys would not survive.
[The trio stand outside of Lou's apartment]
Listen, our heater broke and we need you to fix it.
[sarcastically] Oh, fancy, boys, you "set" the temperature in your apartment. You don't got to turn on a hot plate and rub it on your bum.
Well, I can't help you. I'm on my way to Landlord Con. It's a meetup for landlords where we talk about plumbing and famous literature.
Fine, it's just plumbing. Anyway, I'll be back in three days. Mittens, you're the new landlord while I'm gone.
[Mittens walks out of the doorway and meows to them as if he was saying "I'm raising the rent!"]
That's so unfair! [as he and his friends return to their apartment] It'll be fine. We could survive without heat for three days.
[They enter their apartment and shockingly find it all covered in snow and icicles]
Well, we can go stay with my mom.
New adventure! Rock, Paper, Scissors move in with Paper's mom!
[trying to open the door, but only to find that it's quickly frozen; grunting] It's frozen shut! We're trapped!
By the way, fun fact about monster trucks-- they don't normally have biceps.
[groans annoyingly] Well, we're off to a great start. We can't call for help because our phones are frozen. [to Scissors] You won't put on a jacket because you keep saying you "run hot."
[shivering; resisting the cold temperature] T-t-tough guys like me don't g-get cold.
And Rock is not taking this seriously.
[wearily while making an igloo] I just need to finish this igloo. That'll keep us safe.
Oh, here's a good one. If you were a warm, nutritious food, what warm, nutritious food would you be? [igloo explodes, covering them in snow] Do you prefer the hot or the cold?
Fun fact about me, I actually run…
[snapping] Shut up! Shut up! Ah, I hate this! I am tired of you two being incapable, and I hate always being the savior of this group!
What'll it take to get you to join? You want money, gifts, someone to hug you and say, "Good job, son"? Wait, that's what I want.
Look, pranks are mean, and they're hurting our society. Just think what we could accomplish if we stopped tricking people and started helping them. As a man of science, I'd rather spend my time changing the world, curing diseases, and bringing back the rainforest!
[to Rock] How funny would it be if that wrecking ball would hit him right now?
[bursting into their apartment] Guys, the Rat Bros asked me to join their side in the prank war!
[shocked] WHAT?! Wait, I actually don't know how to feel about this yet. Keep talking.
I'm so excited! Most people don't know this about me, but I'm a huge trickster. One time, I told a coworker something was made of polycarbonate when it was actually made of polythylmethacrylate!
[chuckles] Oh, you are bad.
[The trio are hiding behind a bush in the park, watching the Rat Bros weightlifting]
Okay. What's the plan, new guy?
I say we sneak up and blast them with my water balloon cannon. Now, Rock! Push the button!
[tries to push the button but the laser zaps him causing him to dance uncontrollably] I'm trying but I can't stop dancing!
I'll do it. [the laser zaps him; his body starts to inflate like a balloon and floats away] What is- Rock, grab me! GRAB ME! [holds onto the cannon]
What the heck is going- [the laser zaps him; screams as his neck extends like a giraffe and his giraffe-like head falls to the ground] Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
[The Rat Bros walk up to them]
Oh, the party won't stop!
'Sup, boys? Were you planning to blast us with your secret weapon? Well, we have a secret weapon too.
[popping up from a nearby bush] I made an atomic transmogrification laser! It can alter molecular structure in really crazy ways! Watch. [zaps Scissors' head, causing it to also inflate]
My head! My head is a balloon! [floats away]
Okay, this might be a bit harder than I thought.
Sharp branch! Sharp branch!
[Scissors' nose is poked by a branch and deflates around while the Rat Bros laugh]
[wakes up when he hears loud crashing sounds] Did you guys hear something? [his brothers wake up, also hearing the sound; they walk over to Scissors, disguised as a graffiti painting, then walk over to Rock, mistaking him for a smart device] Smart device, play smooth jazz. [Rocks plays some music, but not smooth jazz; walks over to Paper holding a sign saying: "I'm a TV"; realizing something] Wait a second. [turns back to Rock] That's Afro-Cuban jazz!
[Rock smiles sheepishly]
[The Rat Bros have tied up the trio to chairs for sneaking into their apartment and trying to steal Pencil's transmogrification laser]
[to Brody, Brogan and Derf] Hey, I know we're in a prank war right now, but I just wanna say I really respect you guys. Prank! You're trashed! Ha, ha! We got one, guys. We got one.
Theft, Paper? That was your plan? You know, I expected something that basic from Scissors, and maybe Rock, 'cause I don't know much about him.
We should! But come on, man, up your game. It's like, I'm Issac Newton and you're Godfried-Willem Raes.
[interrupting the Prank War award ceremony while in a mech suit] Stop that crowning!
WWoman
What? Stop the crowning?
[walks up on the stage] Oh, you thought this was over? [snickers] Well, prank! [Scissors grabs Derf from his seat; stands on the podium] Ladies and gentlemen, answer me this: How can the Rat Bros accept the prank crown if the Rat Bros aren't all on this planet? [Derf is then strapped to a rocket] Yes! Do it, Scissors! Wedgie that Rat Bro into space! Look at me now, Pencil! I'm Issac Newton! I'm Issac Newton! [laughs maniacally, shaking the podium]
[Rock, Pencil, the Rat Bros, the audience and Paper all watch as Scissors is preparing to fire the missile and send Derf off into space]
[suddenly having a change of heart] No. [deactivates the rocket and sets Derf down]
No more prank war! [the audience gasps] I just had a huge revelation. Pranks are mean, and they're hurting our society.
Wait, that's what I said.
Just think what we could accomplish if we stopped tricking people and started helping them.
[baffled] Is he doing my speech?
As a man of science, I'd rather spend my time changing the world, curing diseases, and bringing back the rainforest!
[The audience clap and cheer, and the Rat Bros whistle]
