Paper quotes from Rock Paper Scissors

Paper

[frustrated] What the heck are you doing?!

Paper

Somehow you two are dumber together.

Paper

Scissors, I forbid you from sledding down that hill. It's a slippery slope straight to the emergency room. Also, don't add anything I didn't say during this flashback. I'm a big stick-in-the-mud, poopy-pants, poop-poop guy.

Paper

No! Please! Please!

Paper

Forgive me! Forgive me! No!

Paper

What?

Paper

Are you insane? This isn't funny at all! I thought my life was in danger!

Paper

I've been living Alaska for eight months! I bought a house here! I- [stammers] Look. I should have never tried to be funny, but you two shouldn't have either, so no more jokes. Okay? From now on, let's just all agree that none of us are funny.

Paper

[in Bikini Bottom of SpongeBob's world] I don't think I'm in the right show anymore.

Rock

Get ready. 'Cause we're about to go on an adventure.

Paper

There will be twists. There will be turns.

Scissors

But if we stick together, [his sunglasses shine] I promise… we will complete this maze for ages five and under!

Rock

Let's get the cat to the cat food!

Paper

Yeah!

Scissors

We got this.

Rock

What the heck was that?!

[darkly] The Rat Bros.

Logan

[answers the door; smugly] 'Sup, losers?

Rock

Losers?

Paper

Come on.

Scissors

Man, you're cool.

Paper

What is going on in there?!

Logan

Oh, we're doing pogo tricks, brah. [shows the trio his brothers: Brody, Brogan and Derf, on their pogo sticks] We're hosting a super cool pogo party this Sunday. You're welcome to come, except… oh, that's right…you don't have pogo sticks.

Rat Bros

Nice, bro. Nice, bro. Nice, bro. Nice, bro.

Paper

[frustrated] Ugh! I hate those Rat Bros, yet, I care so much about what they think of me.

Scissors

We have to get pogo sticks. If we don't, we won't be cool.

Pencil

Skydiving? Wow, Paper. I was just about to be your girlfriend, but not anymore, you boring turkey! [pulls a lever, causing Paper to eject and laughs maniacally]

No conflict pirates?

Swords as decoration?

You wear glasses?

Paper

You wear glasses?

Yeah, but I wear them as well.

Paper

You can run, but you can't fly! [laughs evilly; activating his drone]

Paper

Rock, I need your help to find Scissors.

Rock

You have to find me first. [giggles]

Paper

I mean, you're wearing camouflage against the blue wall.

Rock

[notices] Okay, I'll do it. But only if I can keep playing.

Paper

Sure. Go nuts.

Rock

I am not good at this game.

Lou

[off-screen] It's Lou. Let me in.

Scissors

Shoot, it's the landlord!

Paper

Don't answer it. I don't want to deal with that pile of garbage.

Rock

Paper! He's not that bad.

Paper

No, I mean, he's literally trash.

Rock

Lou, can you please put on pants?

Lou

Pants? What am I, rich? You'd think I work on Wall Street? Oh, look at me. I wear pants and own a sports team. Why don't I buy a Lamborghini, too, wear that around my legs?

Scissors

The Susan is right.

Rock

The Susan is always right.

Paper

Well, this is the first time The Susan has talked, remember?

Rock

We're sorry.

Scissors

We should have never changed you.

Paper

Can you forgive us?

Rock

[pacing back and forth] What am I gonna do about this audition?! Without my eyebrows, no one'll read my emotions!

Paper

You seem very calm about this.

Rock

No, I'm not! I'm freaking out!

Paper

I can't-uh, do you need a snack? Are you cold? Did you slam your hand in a new or possibly old car door? [Rock draws angry eyebrows on two notepads and puts them on his forehead] Oh, oh, oh, you're upset. Don't worry. I think I can help you with my robotics invention. I'll make you… a pair of… animatronic eyebrows!