Friend quotes from Robot Chicken

[holding a unicorn book] Man I wish unicorns where real. That will be so cool. [yawns] So, cool. [falls asleep, then a unicorn comes to the widow and neighs. He wakes up, rubbing his eyes, then peers out his room] Oh my gosh, they do exist!

Come with me! Let's have fun adventures together!

You don't have to ask twice! [riding on the unicorn] Woo-hoo-hooo! Wheee! It's everything I've ever dreamed!

In the magical land of unicorns, there's no need for clothing!

Whatever you say! [begins pulling of his shirt]

No, no, no! Take it off slowly. [the Nerd takes his shirt off slowly] Yes, that pleases me. [grabs the Nerd's pants and throws them on the ground. The Nerd laughs] Polish my magical unicorn horn!

Okay! [does so]

Oh, yeahee! Oh.

And then what happened?

If you polish his unicorn horn long enough, it gives you magical unicorn mayonnaise! Which I used to make these sandwiches!

Really? The whole budget's just the camera and the van.

Dude, you're on.

Oh, now? Okay. Oh, this is royally gonna kick ass!

[from inside] I know! I'm gonna use the lie detection soft-ware to see which one the producer's told the lie to you. And you'll hit the other one in the face with your dick!

Boo-yah! And I'll give you sloppy seconds. Up top! Sloppy seconds!

[from inside] This show is awesome!

[seeing Barbie and Yasmin walking up to him] Dude, dude, dude! Here they come.

Hi. I'm Barbie.

Wussup. I'm Yasmin.

[from inside] Bitches ain't lyin'!

So Barbie, how do you kick it?

Well, I'm a doctor, Olympic skater, a scientist and a homemaker. And I like pink.

[from inside] Oh, snap! We got stuff in common!

How about you, Yasmin? How you get down?!

I like a man that takes care of me. I enjoy clubbing. Ooohhh! And shopping. I'm kind of a brat and I designed my own tramp stamp.

[from inside] That's you, and me, dude!

Mmm, I love salad.

Me, too!

[from inside] She is lyin', dude!

Do you really enjoy salad, Yasmin?

Well, I am more into meat. [takes out the hotdog, and feels it with her face] Mmm-hmm. You know what I'm talking about?

[from inside the van, losing control] Oh, man. Oh man, she's telling t-the truth. She's telling...the truth.

[annoyed] Hello, I was a space-shuttle commander! I have an R.V. and a convertible!

Yeah.

Feels so good.

[heard from the inside van, which is vibrating] It's true. It's true. She likes it, dog. She's likes it.

Oh, hell, yeah! I choose you! [grabs Yasmin and makes out with her]

This is bull[bleep]! We still have 20 minutes left on the show!

Is that the hot topic?

Oh, you the one.

Oh, baby, yes.

I knew I'd beat that whore.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you del...oh, you taste like other men, though.

Oh, yes. This is doing wonders for my self-esteem.

Oh, you dirty.

I'm number one!

Oh, I feel [bleep] crawling on me already, [in a sing-song voice] but I don't care!

Hey, what's on the menu today?

I thought the inmates would enjoy a nice change of pace. Broccoli, baked beans, coffee ice cream, and Red Bull.

Oh, my God.

I think I've had enough of that show. Delete!

[highlights "No" and selects. Goes up and down the queue throughout] Hey, what are you doing?

I don't want Robot Chicken on the DVR.

No, I love Robot Chicken.

It's all farting and retards.

Well, I like it.

Tough titties.

Ass! We split the cable bill.

TV doesn't have to be stupid...

I want...

[cont'd] ...it can be challenging, even brainy...

[cocks his shotgun] Oh, yeah? You want something brainy on the TV?! [BLAM! Blood splatters on the screen, and the queue stops] There! Ha ha ha! Oh, man. I ain't going to prison. [BLAM! More blood splattered.]

[sound of opening door] Oh, my God! Gary! Enrique! I better call 911! [dials] But I might as well watch a little Robot Chicken while I wait for the cops. [selects "Boo Cocky" and watches. Scene goes back to the rioting, farting inmates]