RFReverse Flash
So long, Flash! You'll have to pick up the pace if you want to catch Reverse Flash!
FFlash
Uh! Again with Reverse Flash! He looks just like me, but with the exact opposite color scheme, brilliant.
At least he wears a mask. Bizzaro Superman looks just like me, but with a face like somebody threw up in an ice tray. Seriously, looks like someone shit out kryptonite and then put it on someone's face again.
WWWonder Woman
Have you ever seen Negative Wonder Woman?
NWNegative Wonder Woman
[wearing sleeves and stockings, displaying her breasts and pubes] Hey Wonder Woman! [Bleep] you! Now where did I leave my visible jet? Oh, look, there it is. Easy to find!
WWWonder Woman
Don't grab her or anything.
FFlash
Grab her till she couldn't walk. Booyah!
WWWonder Woman
You young heroes are so much more than mere sidekicks, you're the future of Justice League of America. Mentoring your progress gives me enormous amount of pride. [Kid Flash steals Wonder Woman's suit and heroes gasped] Whoa! What the [bleep]?!?! [Kid Flash giggles] Give me those you little [bleep]stain!
FFlash
I am very, very disappointed in you, boy. [whispering] Super-speed high five.
[Justice League Heroes waves a good-bye for young heroes to teleport and they fell down in a volcano on another planet. Justice League Heroes gasped]
WWWonder Woman
What happened?
MMMartian Manhunter
It wasn't me! Martian Boyhunter did it!
B1Boy 1
Santa's so fast, he delivers presents to the whole wide world in one night.
B2Boy 2
Superman is faster! He circled the planet and made us all forget about that earthquake that killed Lois Lane.
[flies down] Kids! Kids! Take it easy.
BBoys
[surprised] Superman!
It's not important who's fastest.
B1Boy 1
Spoken like a true puss.
[insulted] What did you [bleep]ing say?! I would whip Santa's fat ass! Is that what you wanna hear, you little [bleep]ing turd?! [knocks the boy's coffee mug out of his hand] You come at me! You come at me like a [bleep]ing man! [smacks the boy's head and flies up into the air]
B2Boy 2
[laughing] I've got to blog about the [bleep] that just went down right here!
[At the North Pole]
Ol' Supes thinks he's the fastest, aye? [laughs]
So, who is the fastest, Santa?
[laughs] That's not important.
[insulted, knocks the elf's Coke bottle out of his hand before meeting Superman at the top of the Earth] We doing this, blue balls?!
You got that right, Saint Dick! [cut to him and Santa, ready to race around the world] Hey! No fair using reindeer!
[sarcastically] Oh, okay. No fair using our yellow sun then, you [bleep]ing alien!
[The boy shoots a gun where Superman and Santa race. And after hours, Santa and Superman are then seen racing over the finish line at the exact same time, surprising everyone]
ESElf Spectator
It's a tie!
B2Boy 2
What a complete and total waste of everybody's time!
FFlash
Well, even a tie has some entertainment value.
[The Flash speeds off]
[laughs] Sorry we took so long, folks.
Ho ho ho! We ran into a few race hazards. [opens the door of his sleigh, revealing Lex Luthor, who is beaten up]
Lex Luthor, here, tried to decue us both permanently!
Luckily, we stopped him, but only by working together.
[Everyone cheered]
I think they're buying it. Bump it.
[fist bumps with Superman] Anticipated.
LLLex Luthor
[waking up] What? Where am I? I was at my mother's doing laundry and-
Weaponizing anthrax, Luthor?! Not on my watch!
LLLex Luthor
[confused] What? Weaponiz-
[Santa Claus slams the door in Lex Luthor's face before the two high five and smile at the camera. During the credits, Santa and Superman are seen doing what they really did when they had the race]
Robot Chicken · 315 quotes
