BBBig Bird
Uugh! I feel like I'm gonna blow chunks of bird seed! [vomits all over the steps, then falls down]
EElmo
Oh no, Big Bird has the bird flu!
GGrover
The Word of the Day is Quarantine! Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E, Quarantine!
[In a hospital]
Big Bird; Snuffleupagus...is that you?
DDoctor
Oh, he must be hallucinating.
SSnuffy
Hi, Bird, I'm so sorry you're sick.
BBBig Bird
I'm scared, Snuffy, thank God you can't get it, since you're not real. [dies]
SSnuffy
Yeah, thank G- [chokes and coughs, then disappears in puffs of smoke]
[At sesame street]
CVCount von Count
[handing out vaccines to Bert and crew of Sesame Street] One vaccine, a-hah-hah! Two vaccines, a-hah-hah!
[The show cuts to a separate bit]
TKThree Kids
One of these kids is not like the other, one of these kids is dead!
AAnnouncer
Today's episode brought to you by the letters C.D.C.
[The channel changes to a screen featuring the words (And now a message from the bees) read by another announcer]
BBee
Hey, boys and girls, remember to bee yourself. [pauses] And don't [bleep] with us or we'll sting you all at once and kill you.
KKermit
Yeah! Everybody’s sharing, that's the way you’re supposed to do it. Hi, ol' Gordo! Everybody, this is my cousin Gordon the Gecko. Gordon is a powerful executive on Wall Street. What do you think about sharing?
GGGordon the Gecko
The rich just 1% of this country, Owns half its country wealth. $5,000,000,000,000—
CVCount von Count
$1,000,000,000,000! he he he, Two Trill-
GGGordon the Gecko
[pushes the Count] Shut up. Greed, for lack for better word is good, greed works.
KKid
My dad says being greedy is bad.
GGGordon the Gecko
Your dad wouldn't know how to pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. Is Kermit over here sharing with you, to sit here and sing songs?!
KKermit
Ok, Gordo! It's time to get back to the office.
GGGordon the Gecko
See this building behind me, first place I ever bought, flipped it and made $800,000. It was better then sex!
KKermit
Ok, who wants a share a healthy after-school snack?
KKids
I want to make 800,000 dollars!
GGGordon the Gecko
First, you have to quit dressing up like 9-year old kids. Lets go buy these [bleep]ers some little suits.
KKermit
Well, I guess that lesson is brought to you by the number "Douchebag!"
AAlex
Thanks for throwing me a welcoming party, Count! I've never been to a party hosted by a vampire before.
CCount
I do it for all the newcomers, Alex. After tonight, I guarantee you'll be... one of us.[laughs]
[cut to inside of building, with scenarios of: Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch partying, along with Cookie Monster deejaying, Bert and Ernie hugging in content, and Grover making out with two prostitutes.]
Robot Chicken · 315 quotes
