[Strawberry Shortcake and her friends are giggling and singing, when suddenly we hear Black Cherry Pie scream]
BCBlack Cherry Pie
[screams] Ahhhh!!! Someone's stolen my black cherry!
Oh no, Black Cherry Pie! Your black cherry is gone?!
BCBlack Cherry Pie
Yes! I bet it was Fudge Turnover, he loves black cherries!
[Cut to Fudge Turnover]
FTFudge Turnover
I'd NEVER take someone's Black Cherry without their consent!
Bitch Pudding[appears] Mmmm, that's not what I heard.
FTFudge Turnover
Oh shut up, Bitch Pudding!
[Cut to the Purple Pieman's house, where he is sitting in his armchair. A rock smashes through his window]
PPPurple Pieman
[startled] Son of a bitch! [sees Strawberry Shortcake and Black Cherry Pie outside the broken window]
We're berry berry mad at you!
PPPurple Pieman
Get off my lawn, you stupid bitches!
BCBlack Cherry Pie
You stole my black cherry!
PPPurple Pieman
[chuckles] Sorry, honey, I'm into Asian chicks. [smells fire and turns around to find his house is on fire] Fire? FIRE! My valuables! [runs to his framed photos of his mother and Rachael Ray] Mama! Rachael Ray! Only time to save-a one of you... [takes the signed photo of Rachel Ray off of the wall and runs out of the house, but Strawberry Shortcake, Blueberry Muffin, and Black Cherry Pie all stone him to death while yelling at him in unison] Ahhh!!! You [bleep]ing twats! Oh ho! Ahh-eyah! Oh! Ahh! You bitches!
BCBlack Cherry Pie
I'm not sure how this gets my black cherry back...
[The three dump the Purple Pieman's body into a grave they have dug]
Nobody says a [bleep]ing word, or we all go to Rikers Island for a berry berry berry long time!
HPHuckleberry Pie
[shows up, eating Black Cherry Pie's black cherry] Hey, wazzup?
BCBlack Cherry Pie
My black cherry! Huckleberry Pie, you asshole! [chases a laughing Huckleberry Pie off-screen] I can't believe you took my black cherry!
Bitch Pudding
I heard she left home because her daddy took her black cherry. [the others look confused] BLAM! You all get a taste of the Bitch Pudding.
[We start with Strawberry Shortcake in her house, congratulating Baby-Needs-A-Name for getting a pet of her own, which resembles a lavender hippopotamus covered in light green dots]
Baby-Needs-A-Name, your wish came true! [Baby-Needs-A-Name claps her hands] You have a pet of your berry own!
BNBaby-Needs-A-Name
Yes, Strawberry Shortcake, but I have another wish. I want to have a name of my berry own, too!
We should give you a name soon, and not leave it open to debate! Strawberryland is berry sheltered, but it's a big world out there, and others might have berry different opinions about what constitutes an appropriate name.
BNBaby-Needs-A-Name
I'm not worried!
Well, I'm just saying- [Bitch Pudding slams her front door open] Oh. Hello, Bitch Pudding.
Bitch Pudding
Wassup, hoes? [then slowly walks to the refrigerator and drags her finger on the dusty table along the way. She sighs, opens the refrigerator, grabs a strawberry soda, kicks the refrigerator closed, takes a sip, and slowly walks out of Strawberry Shortcake's house]
[relieved] Whew! [to Baby-Needs-A-Name] Anyway, I'm sure that one day, someone will give you a name.
Bitch Pudding
[crashes through the window feet first back into Strawberry Shortcake's house] BLAM! [to Baby-Needs-A-Name, cutting Strawberry Shortcake off and flipping her off] Your name is [Bleep]face! You [bleep]ing [bleep]face! BLAM! [Bleep]face! BLAM! [Bleep]face! BLAM, bitches! DA DA DA DAAAAAAA!!!!!! BITCH PUDDING! [exits the house, but not before prying the door open once more to knock over Strawberry Shortcake's teapot with her raised middle finger]
[groans in exasperation] I am so sorry! I think she has Asperger's or something, but, don't take it personally, Baby-Needs-A-Name.
BNBaby-Needs-A-Name
No, no. Call me [Bleep]face!
CKCrypt Keeper
Oh, hello! I was just enjoying the latest best "heller"! [laughs evilly, but then rips off book cover] This is actually Dan Brown's "Inferno." It's a piece of [bleep]. Our next tale is something of an "alle-gory"! You might say it's a "meta-gore"! [pause] Let's just roll it.
[Cut to the outside of Bitch Pudding's house, where the title of the sketch "Season of the Bitch...Pudding" appears. We cut to inside the house, where Bitch Pudding is sleeping]
GVGhostly Voice
[in his haunting voice] Get out. Get out of the house. Get out of the hou-
Bitch Pudding
[wakes up] Why don't you get your tongue out of your daddy's [bleep]hole so I can jam your mama's [bleep] up there, you [bleep]-gargling pile of monkey spunk?! Nothing to say now, huh?
GVGhostly Voice
[off-screen] There's just a lot to unpack there.
Bitch Pudding
Well, wake me up when you figure it out, [bleep] stick. [goes back to sleep. The next morning, she goes to her fridge when she sees the chairs and flower pot of her table are now completely deformed. Annoyed, she flips them over and destroys them] BLAM! Where's your [bleep]-ass art project now, [bleep] nut?
GVGhostly Voice
[off-screen] It wasn't supposed to be art, it was supposed to scare you! God! Forget it! I'm leaving! [cut to Strawberry Shortcake's house, where she is sleeping; in his haunting voice] Strawberry Shortcake!
GVGhostly Voice
[in his haunting voice] Get out of the house!
[A red substance begins to ooze out of the walls, causing Strawberry Shortcake to scream in fear]
Bitch Pudding
[breaks in through the window] Hey, [bleep]ing clown, if you're ragging so bad, why don't you take your mama's tampon out of your daddy's [bleep]hole and lick it clean before you shove it up your [bleep]?!
GVGhostly Voice
[off-screen] Hey, stop talking about my dad's [bleep]hole! I'll-I'll leave town, okay? Oh, FYI, that isn't blood, that is strawberry jam, m'lady. The insulation is leaking. All I did was turn the painting upside down. Live with it.
Do you think he was right about the insulation? That could be berry expensive.
Bitch Pudding
Hmm, let's see. That depends on whether I give a [bleep], [bleep] tits! DA-DA-DA-DAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! Bitch Pudding! BLAM! [jumps out the window]
Robot Chicken · 315 quotes
