Oh, hello! I was just enjoying the latest best "heller"! [laughs evilly, but then rips off book cover] This is actually Dan Brown's "Inferno." It's a piece of [bleep]. Our next tale is something of an "alle-gory"! You might say it's a "meta-gore"! [pause] Let's just roll it.
[Cut to the outside of Bitch Pudding's house, where the title of the sketch "Season of the Bitch...Pudding" appears. We cut to inside the house, where Bitch Pudding is sleeping]
[in his haunting voice] Get out. Get out of the house. Get out of the hou-
[wakes up] Why don't you get your tongue out of your daddy's [bleep]hole so I can jam your mama's [bleep] up there, you [bleep]-gargling pile of monkey spunk?! Nothing to say now, huh?
[off-screen] There's just a lot to unpack there.
Well, wake me up when you figure it out, [bleep] stick. [goes back to sleep. The next morning, she goes to her fridge when she sees the chairs and flower pot of her table are now completely deformed. Annoyed, she flips them over and destroys them] BLAM! Where's your [bleep]-ass art project now, [bleep] nut?
[off-screen] It wasn't supposed to be art, it was supposed to scare you! God! Forget it! I'm leaving! [cut to Strawberry Shortcake's house, where she is sleeping; in his haunting voice] Strawberry Shortcake!
[wakes up] Huh? What?
[in his haunting voice] Get out of the house!
[A red substance begins to ooze out of the walls, causing Strawberry Shortcake to scream in fear]
[breaks in through the window] Hey, [bleep]ing clown, if you're ragging so bad, why don't you take your mama's tampon out of your daddy's [bleep]hole and lick it clean before you shove it up your [bleep]?!
[off-screen] Hey, stop talking about my dad's [bleep]hole! I'll-I'll leave town, okay? Oh, FYI, that isn't blood, that is strawberry jam, m'lady. The insulation is leaking. All I did was turn the painting upside down. Live with it.
Do you think he was right about the insulation? That could be berry expensive.
Hmm, let's see. That depends on whether I give a [bleep], [bleep] tits! DA-DA-DA-DAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! Bitch Pudding! BLAM! [jumps out the window]
I should really move.
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