I never sit around with my girlfriends and call them a twat. I was on the basketball team in high school. I was on the girl's softball team in college and I never called any of those women a twat. You know why? Because every woman I've ever met finds that word offensive. Not as offensive as the other word but in a race you know, they're like neck and neck.
Crazy chink broads that really don't know how to drive in the first place but now they have cell phones stuck to their ears while their doin' 65 MPH down 5th Avenue, huh, right? Crazy chinks on bikes who have 10 pounds of Chinese food strapped to the handle bars.
You see, that's another thing. Puerto Ricans even get shafted when it comes to racial slurs. Chinks have what, like four? We have one-- Spick. That's it. The Irish they got, mick, patty, donkey. The Italians they got guinea, wop, dago.
Well, it's pretty obvious. Where are the black guys callin' white people crackers, huh? Where were the Mexicans shittin' all over the Puerto Ricans? You know? Where were all the chinks who hate the Japs, who hate the Koreans who hate-- [Don trys to interrupt him but Tommy keeps going] This is bullshit. This is just to cover the FDNY's ass, that's all this is good for. Just in case some Puerto Rican woman or some fat Chinese guy files a lawsuit against the FDNY or God help us there's another disgruntled female firefighter who thinks she has a case. The FDNY can say "No, no, no, they can't be prejudice, they took this horseshit sensitivity training." Let me tell you somethin'. The next time I run into a burning building and refuse to bring out anybody who's not the same color as me, then that's when you can bring my angry, pink, sober, Irish, ass back down here. Got it? I'm gonna go out for a smoke! (door slams)
If your mother knew we wouldn't be having this conversation because I'd be dead somewhere in some river with my balls in my mouth. [mocking Johnny] "Did mom know?"
Tommy, when you're in jail in some hick town, and you're taking it up the ass from Otis the drunk, don't call me. Don't call me, you'll be on your own, bro.
Okay, first of all. Your dick is not a weapon of mass destruction because if it were I would be in complete awe of you, which I am not. But there are really two issues here Sean. The first pertains to the fact that you have a tiny fragment of brain matter lodged somewhere in your skull. No offense.
Second is your dating pool. Which in my opinion, should be drained, filled in, and black topped over. Maybe even a playground for poor kids built on top.
