I guess we lumberjacked him up.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I see one guy who isn't jazzed.
So, we're being forced to do this?
Well, this is purely a volunteer mission to benefit mankind.
[frustrated] Well, I don't volunteer! [leaves the room]
That's different.
Why can't Benson see that this is going to be really cool?
He's afraid to try something new.
The park wouldn't be the same without him.
We gotta get him on board.
Cool, bunk beds.
Benson, check it out cool pillows.
Those pillows are not cool at all and neither is space.
Actually, Benson, I hate to disagree, but living in space is the definition of cool. I mean, I just got goosebumps saying that.
Um, again; basically kidnapped and forced to do this.
What's the matter, Benson? You can have top bunk if you want.
[sarcastically] Oh, the top bunk, now I definitely wanna stay in space. Muscle Man, what about Starla?
Starla would be proud, Besides, I know our love will stand the test of time. [holds up a picture of him and Starla signed "Our love will stand the test of time -Starla"]
Well, Fives, what about Celia?
Ditto. [pulls out a photo of him and Celia signed "Ditto -Celia"]
[agitated] I can't believe you people! Those scientists lied to us! MR. MAELLARD LIED TO US! UGH, I WANNA GO HOME!! [furiously storms out]
This is gonna be harder than we thought.
Here's your new jumpsuits. They got your names on 'em. Pretty cool, right? [Benson holds his jumpsuit]
No, not cool.
Harsh.
You should keep this anyway. I'm not staying.
Tuh… You still don't get it. You don't think this mission is important. Well, fine! We don't need you! All that matters is that we have a team that wants to be here.
This seems like a pretty important mission. You don't wanna experience that?
Come on, Benson, just stay with us!
I can't believe you are all fine with this. [scoffs, holds his clipboard] I mean, if this is a peaceful mission, why do we have to practice using weapons? Why did I have to wear that fax machine like a jerk if you didn't have anything important for me to do? I had a good life and then you had to drag us up here!
No more questions! That's an order!
Why would I listen to you? I'm the park manager!
Well, I'm the colonel, which is about 100 positions higher than you!
[Col. Rawls snatches and chucks Benson's clipboard into the trash, incinerates like a black crumpled piece of paper; everyone gasps]
I'm done.
Oh, I'm done. [turns red] I'm done with all of this!
Then go, then! We can get a pod back to Earth for ya, quitter!
Sounds great! I'm out! [he walks out the office]
Shoot. I thought for sure that reverse psychology was gonna work.
You can't be serious, Benson.
You're really gonna give up, now?
I've been telling you guys for the past two hours, you're not gonna change my mind. As soon as I finish this space panini, I'm outta here. [eats panini] There, I'm done.
If you really want to go, I guess we can't stop you, but, you should at least watch this before you leave. We all put this video together. We think it might change your mind before staying.
How did you make this?
Don't you remember that really cool editing bay we saw on the tour? There were so many VCR's!
[sighs] I know what this is. It's a tape full of sappy memories that it's supposed to convince me to stay, show me where I belong. Well, it won't work!
[a disheveled Benson inserts his dusty VHS tape in a player, it plays to see Mordecai holding the camera with Earth in the background]
Hey, Benson. Um, we get why you want to go back to Earth, but I'm not sure we were really upfront about why we wanted you to stay. [Benson starts crying]
It just wouldn't be the same without you. [cut footage to Rigby]
I won't be able to keep up with work without you breathing down my neck. [cut to Muscle Man]
And who am I gonna have wing-eating contests with, huh? [Fives pops up behind him]
I've always appreciated your no-nonsense attitude and dedication to your work. It's really inspiring. [Benson wipes his crying face; Eileen holds the camera]
Hey, Benson. I don't know you very well, but I do know you mean a lot to these guys, and I'd like a chance to get to know you better too. You do have the best chance of keeping Rigby from blowing something up.
It's true! I already broke the first camera we tried to record this with. [cut to Pops]
We all really look up to you, but also, you are our friend. And we'll miss you a lot, and...
[Pops starts crying loudly, Benson cries out in his sadness. Rigby places camera with the crew and Eileen]
All right, you get it. We'll miss you, so... don't go, all right?
Yeah, Benson. We can't do this without you.
[The title card appears that says "Space needs you, Benson!" and then the screen squiggles]
[scared] I made a huge mistake. [yells] I SHOULD'VE STAYED IN SPACE!!!
No way. You two have to learn the value of a space credit.
What is the value of a space credit?
Uh, look, I don't know. Just don't waste your money on junk! [walks away angrily]
Maybe these hover boots aren't worth it.
Maybe you're right.
That's darn fine coffee.
It better be. You had like 12 cups.
Only thing that keeps me steady.
TSToothpick Sally
You don't wanna see him without it.
Great lunch, guys. This one's on me.
Benson, I thought you knew how to drive this thing!
Why?! Why would I know how to drive a space forklift?
[throws a manual book at him] Read the manual! I'm sure you'll figure it out.
AAlien
Pops, I didn't want to come to this. But you're gonna tell me where you live.
No!
Don't listen to him, Pops! I can take him--- (alien cracks his neck and throws him down) Aaahh!
Rigby!
We are talking. Ooohh, wanna hear how many push ups I did at training today?
Oh, okay.
This...this isn't working for me anymore.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Benson, you're a great guy, but I have no idea when you're coming back, or if you're coming back.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Regular Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.