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All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Huh?
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No! No! No! Delete! delete! Delete!
OOperator
Message sent. Goodbye.
Oh my...
Uh, yes? Who is this?
AMAnswering Machine
We intercepted two frauds trying to access your voicemail without your permission.
STSpool of Thread
The one who claims to have a complicated relationship with you.
Don't listen to them, Margaret!
Yeah, these guys are crazy!
Mordecai? Rigby? [annoyed] Wait, you guys tried to hack into my phone?
It was an accident! We didn't know it was your phone!
Yeah, right.
Well, we didn't know, but...
But what? I can't believe you would do something like that! I totally misjudged you!
Dude, just come clean already.
(grunts) Okay, look. So I sat on my phone, and accidentally...
He called you with his butt!
Yeah. So I accidentally left you a voicemail with me singing this dumb song. (Mordecai scratching his neck) It's really embarrassing. So we tried to erase it before you heard it.
You what? I want to hear the message!
Wait! Margaret, please!
No, I want to hear it.
AMAnswering Machine
Play the message!
WWaiter
Have you decided?
Uhh, I'll take the Eggs Benedict, a-and uh... orange juice.
And I'll have the Eggscellent Challenge.
WWaiter
Oh... I wouldn't recommend the Eggscellent Challenge, it's more of a promotional item.
Yeah, and it's the only reason we're here, so...
WWaiter
Sir, i-it's really just—
Okay, hold on, hold on. I'm confused. I'm the customer, right?
WWaiter
Well, yes.
What does that sign say over there?
WWaiter
Uhh... "The customer is always right."
And what am I?
WWaiter
The customer.
And the sign?
WWaiter
[annoyed] Sir, please!
SAY IT!!
WWaiter
"The customer is always right."
Hm-hm. Hm!
WWaiter
What would you like, sir?
Bring me the omelette.
[In the hospital ward, Rigby is comatose due a severe egg allergy. Benson turns to Mordecai and chastises him in a negative tone]
Well, I hope you've learned something from all this.
[becoming skeptical] What?
Maybe if you'd been working like you were supposed to, none of this would've happened. [Disgusted by Benson's halfheartedness, Mordecai immediately punches him in the face in a rage, making Benson stagger back in surprised. Pops and Hi-Five Ghost hold him away from Mordecai, while Skips and Muscle Man do the same with Mordecai] Mordecai, what are you doing?!
[outraged] WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WORK! HE JUST WANTED THE HAT!
And look where it got him! [angrily points at Rigby] Your friend over there is only gonna get you into trouble!
Huh! Yeah, right! Take advice from Benson about friends since you've got so many of 'em.
[stoically] I have friends.
No, you don't. Everyone only hangs out with you because you're our boss! Rigby only wanted to try and win a hat. He doesn't deserve to be in a coma because of it. [he storms past Benson to the exit]
Where are you going?!
Back to the restaurant.
Why?!
Because I made a promise to Rigby and I'm gonna keep it. That's what friends do for each other.
[He furiously exits and slams the ward door behind him. The group stays silent for a beat]
Awkward...
Good, you're all here. As you probably already know, today marks 5 years I've worked at the park. So in honor of me, we're eating at Fry it Up at 8:00!
Oh, no can do, Muscle Man.
What? Why not?
We already made plans with Margaret and Eileen.
Pssh, your loss, bros. While you're striking out with some chicks, we'll be scoring some wings! And some chicks! Am I right, Skips?
Sorry, I can't either. I'm bowling with Pops and Benson.
Lawn bowling!
Ugh! Well, it looks like it's just me and you tonight, Fives.
Oh.
What?
Low-Five is graduating from the police academy tonight! He's my brother, I have to go!
Hey, Rigby! I've got good news! [Rigby gasps] I put you down as an alternate.
What? Why?
Come on, dude. I'm just trying to win the Glove.
Then why did you pick Skips?! He's not even good at video games!
Dude, cool it!
Why would you pick Skips over me?! He's HORRIBLE at video games!!
No he's NOT! [furiously shoves Rigby down the floor; a crowd of people whoop]
CCrowd
Cooooooooooool! [Rigby gets up, looks at Mordecai panting angrily]
Rigby, I picked Skips because you're horrible at video games. [closeup on Rigby, shocked and becomes enraged at what Mordecai says to him]
[Enraged] Fine! Forget you, then! I hope you have as much fun winning the Glove as you did losing your best friend. [he angrily storms off]
Rigby!! [see Rigby leaving with people blocking the exit]
I know what you're doing, Mordecai, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed in you.
[sighs] Look, Skips, I wanna win the Maximum Glove for me and Rigby to share, but I just can't play with him. He's not good enough at video games to win.
Mordecai, I know you wanna make Rigby happy by winning that Glove, but are you sure you're going about this the right way?
Don't worry about it. He'll get over it when we win the Glove. Let's go.
(the scene cuts to the Lottery Plaza) Muscle Man, wait!
What is it?
There's something we need to tell you. The lottery ticket... it's fake. We wanted to get back for pranking us.
It just got out of hand! We're sorry.
It's okay, I'm not mad.
Really?
Nope. ( He suddenly becomes enraged) I’M FURIOUS!!! (Mordecai and Rigby gasp, then Muscle Man furiously shoves Mordecai and Rigby into the ticket checker and then catapults it over a wall)
I already got mine. I could die right now with no regrets. You guys are going to have to take this to your graves. Just wishing you got to taste this Himalayan ketchup. [eats his burger]
Oh, my! I can taste the Himalayas! [Laughs as Mordecai and Rigby moan]
Did I tell you two you could stop working? GET IN THE CART!
You still need to clean Skips' garage. There's a bunch of Pops' weird stuff in there that needs to go into storage. When you're done, you can have burgers, deal?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Regular Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.