Sock quotes from Reaper

Gladys

Fugitive transfer?

Sam

Uh, yes. Yes, I think so.

Gladys

Place the vessel on the mat.

Gladys

Never seen one of these before.

Gladys

Have a nice day!

Sam

W- w- wait! Um, so, their not all little vacuums?

Gladys

The boss gives you the vessel he thinks you can handle. You must be a real moron!

Sock

[annoyed] DMV!!

Sock

That is quite the bag o' batteries you got there, Josie. Feeling a little lonely these days?

We're having blackouts, jackass. They're for my flashlight. And if I was lonely for you, I'd just get a pencil.

Sock

Like I haven't heard that before! Uh, wait a minute...

Ben

My dad's super allergic, you know, I couldn't have any pets, so this little guy fills that void.

Sock

You said I filled that void, Ben.

Sam

Sock, don't do anything stupid!

Sock

Sam, I am almost certainly going to do something stupid. It's in my blood. You know that.

Sock

Do you remember a few years back there was a fire at Josie's apartment?

Sam

Yeah, right before you guys broke up.

Sock

Do you remember that it was around the time I was exploring my feminine side?

Sam

...No.

Sock

Well, mostly, I was into jasmine scented candles.

Sam

Did you burn down Josie's apartment?

Sock

It's a dark part of my life, Sam. I'm not proud of it.

Sock

Is it wrong that I am aroused and disgusted at the same time?

Ben

Probably, but I wouldn't beat yourself up about it.

Ben

Traditional mongolian dress is called a deel. It's worn by both men and women. It's widely worn by Mongolians today.

Sock

Is that so, professor?

Ben

Hey, don't mock me. History Channel docs are a great way to break the ice with the ladies.

Sam

Maybe you guys should cover the other exits.

Sock

Cover the exit with what? Our spines?

Sock

I just want her to see me the way the rest of the world does.

Sam

And how is that?

Sock

As a sexual magician.

Sock

I hate that guy.

Ben

That's my money.

Sam

I just need to talk to you in private.

Sock

Alright. Fine. I'm alone. Give it up.

Sam

No, in the car, where no one can hear us.

Sock

You know what, if this is about your weird little man crush on me, don't worry about it. We all know.

Ben

(talking about the baby) It's probably hungry. It needs mother's milk.

Sock

Oh, well, sorry I'm not lactating right now.

Ben

There are some drugs you can take that will dull the sex drive.

Sock

Isn't that chemical castration?

Tony

I'm going to name her Stevie.

Sock

Um, I already named her Magnum, P.I.

Ben

(turning around) Can you put some clothes on, please?

Sock

Too upset for clothes, Ben.