“Stand Up and Deliver: Kevin D” quotes from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

You live in a dump like a crazy person. This is freaking me out.

[on seeing a photo of Kevin's glamorous model girlfriend] I like long walks on the beach, leopard-print bikinis, and squalor.

[about Kevin's hair] His inspiration was Johnny Depp. [to Kevin] Were you high?

[testing out her new married name] Matilda Downey. Jr.

Sounds like a drag queen with a drug problem.

[holding a book entitled "Please Kill Me"] I think he wrote this book. He wrote this book after living here for a year.