Queer as Folk (US) Season 1 quotes

Ted

We just... we wanted to let you know that we still love you. Maybe not as much as Jesus, but almost. And that we're gonna miss you.

I'll especially miss the way you dance with your hands over your head. That's the way I'll always remember you.

Emmett

Thanks, but I don't think God appreciates it as much as you do.

Ted

I think God appreciates it even more. Because he created you in his image. At least that's what I was always taught. And since God is love and God doesn't make mistakes, then you must be exactly the way he wants you to be, the way he intended you to be. And that goes for every person, every planet, every mountain, every grain of sand, every song, every tear... and every faggot. We're all His, Emmett. He loves us all.

Ted

I always remember how he used to say "It's just not sex--"

Emmett

"--without something up your butt."

We've seen the light!

We know!

Emmett

A different light.

Melanie

What about your success story?

Emmett

Oh, we were a success story.

We shared it with the group.

Emmett

Mmmmhmmm. I told them "some of us are meant to eat pussy and some of us are meant to suck cock." But either way - God loves us.

They agreed that God loves us.

Emmett

And then they told us to get the fuck out.

Ted

You're really back?

Emmett

Honey, my flame has been rekindled and has been burning brighter than ever.

David

He's gonna love you too.

Michael

How do you know that?

David

Who wouldn't?

Emmett

As long as your erogenous zones are covered, you're safely in the conservative column.

Michael

His 12-year-old juggling jazz-playing webmaster, what if he hates me?

Justin

Who?

Michael

David's son.

Brian

Fuck him, he's just a kid.

Michael

He's not just a kid! He's David's son! And you know what that means.

Michael

Well, why don't you get your fairy tale back to work. Isn't there a toilet you need to spit shine?

Brian

Don't be so pathetic, Mikey. He's not gonna hate you.

Michael

What makes you so sure?

Brian

I'm crazy about you.

Debbie

Do you even know what a Huggie is?

Michael

Here's a hint, it's not a sexual position.

Michael

It's nice to finally meet you, Hank.

[Looks Michael up and down] Wow. You're young.

Brian

[Gus puked on Brian] All over my favorite leather jacket.

Vic

A fashion critic already.

Brian

I'm his father. Who are you?

Melanie

I may be no one. But at least I love him enough to know that his needs come before mine. Which is more than can be said for you.

Michael

If God wanted me to be on ice, he would have made me a vodka martini.

Emmett

Well, all this talk about babies has given me a craving for the baby back ribs.

Brian

I'm gay.

You picked a hell of a fucking time to tell me you're a fairy. As if I don't have enough to deal with. You're the one that should be dying instead of me.

Brian

But I'm not dying, you selfish old prick. You are.

There are many pleasures to be found here. Places that you're afraid to even think of going. I can take you there. But first you must surrender to me, completely. Do you surrender?

Ted

Yes I-I surrender.

Sir. You will call me Sir.

Ted

Sir.

And you are Slave.

Ted

It's kind of cold in here.

I didn't say you could speak.

Ted

I'm sorry.

Sir!

Ted

Sir.