Hey champ.
Fuck you.
It appears being straight doesn't agree with the lad.
S5[Episode 505]
S5[Episode 505]
Did somebody win a beauty pageant?
Yeah Miss Fat Ass 2005.
S5[Episode 505]
You and Carl going at it every night. You don't hold back, do ya?
There's no point doing something if you're gonna do it half-assed.
S5[Episode 505]
Listen, Loretta... I can't even imagine diving into a muff.
S5[Episode 505]
DDoctor
It looks like you've picked up a case of Syphilis.
Syphilis? But that's so 80s... 1880s.
S5[Episode 505]
DDoctor
You'll need to lay off the sex for a couple of days.
A couple of days?
DDoctor
I realize for you that's the equivalent of the time it took for the creation of the universe, but I have the utmost faith. You'll pull it off.
That's pretty much all you've left for me to do.
S5[Episode 505]
CCallie
Presto, you're famous.
Yeah, I'm a cock sucking superstar. Except I don't see anyone asking for my autograph.
S5[Episode 505]
Brian [to Justin]: I love your cream sauce.
S5[Episode 505]
[Brian told Justin he has Syphilis]
I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner considering where your dick's been.
Excuse me but you haven't exactly been a saint yourself. In fact, I might have even gotten it from you.
S5[Episode 505]
LLesbian
You look pretty beat up, babe. Did a man do that to you?
Huh?
LLesbian
Too bad I wasn't around to protect you. But don't you worry, kid. That swelling is gonna go down and when it does, you're going to be just as pretty as ever.
Ted [to Emmett]: That person... thinks I'm a lesbian.
S5[Episode 505]
[Lifting weights]
You know, I thought one of the benefits of marriage - besides getting to have sex with the same person for the rest of your natural born life - was being able to let yourself go.
I'm sure you'll be pleased to know Michael and I still enjoy looking good for each other.
You still look?
Not everyone regards marriage and monogamy as a death sentence. For some of us, they're simply a part of growing up.
You mean giving up. Surrendering to the straight world's conception of what it means to be a man.
Can't be Peter Pan forever.
You can try.
S5[Episode 505]
Well I may not have stopped Michael from becoming one of the step ford fags, but at least I saved Justin from a fate worse than being a heterosexual.
And what is that?
An imitation heterosexual.
[Hot guy is checking out Brian and walks away]
Aren't you going after your prey?
I'd love to professor. But, still got another 24 hours until the Syphilis clears up.
S5[Episode 505]
[to Hunter's school]
Your children lead privileged lives. And you dare to laugh at my son's misfortune.
It's okay, Ben. I'm glad I came here tonight. Because I learned something to. Now I know how your kid's got to be the way they are.
S5[Episode 505]
Flying solo?
Not everyone's as lucky as you to be in a... non-relationship.
S5[Episode 505]
Emmett [to Brian]: Well this certainly hasn't been your year... dick-wise.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Queer as Folk (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.