TV show quotes
I took Viagra last night! It's been 18 hours and it won't go down! What am I gonna do?
Have you tried soaking it?
How about a cold shower?
How about scaring it?
That's hiccups...
Boo!
Thank you all for caring.
What about something that would absolutely turn you off?
That's a great idea, why don't you two show him your tits?
Brian!
[about himself and Brian] Our sex life isn't what it used to be: we're down to, like, four times a day!
I'm sorry, am I disturbing you? I was gonna leave this [cake] here by the door with a note but then I thought as long as I'm here...
… I might as well bang on his door a million times and drive him nuts until he answers.
I hope you know it's a sin.
That I fuck guys or that I didn't tell you?
You make all the jokes you want. The Bible makes it clear. You're going to Hell.
Well, don't worry, God still loves you... no matter what.
Yeah like I give a shit what God thinks about me. He better be worried about what I think about him.
How do you figure that?
In all this cold dead universe, we're the only one's that know he exists. Without us... he's nothing.
I always include you in my prayers.
What a pal.
I hope you've come to ask forgiveness.
Not exactly.
It's the only salvation there is.
What about the Salvation Army?
Ted [rejoicing]: I'm soft... you made my dick soft!
Girls, girls! We may be dykes but we are still ladies.
[Michael is upset that Captain Astro has died]
Better to join the living. Have a drink.
Have a bump.
Have a boy.
From what Emmett tells me, you're the love child of James Dean and Ayn Rand.
George, can I buy you a drink?
OK, let me get this straight. Radames, the noble Egyptian warrior, could marry the Pharaoh's daughter and live more than comfortably ever after but instead he runs off with Aida, the slave-girl who happens to weigh like 200 pounds?
You're not supposed to notice that.
How can I not notice?! Her name should be Aidalot ("I-eat-a-lot").
I'm the demon dick of dot com.
The first time you came here you didn't know anything about me. I could have done anything to you.
I was pretty sure you were going to fuck me.
I just dropped by to let you know that I'm not gonna be at the wedding. I'm going to the White Party in Miami instead. Later!
You can't ditch my special day!
You selfish prick!
As usual, objectivity falls to me. Think - you don't really want me there, do you? I have to be chemically depended just to show up. I'll be drunk, I'll be bored - not to mention better looking than the brides. I'll offend all the dykes, I'll heckle the ceremony, table dance at the reception and inevitably fuck every good looking guy - gay, straight or undecided - in the place. Finally, I'll pass out - naked - bitching about the cheap booze.You'll lose your dignity, your friends and your shirts paying for the damages. Hell, I'm doing you a favor getting out of town.
… Have a safe trip.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Queer as Folk (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
