Buford quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Phineas

Actually, instead of improving one of our old inventions, we should make something brand new! Something simple.

Phineas

Well, what is summer all about?

[singing "Summer (Where Do We Begin?)"] ♪ Summer is running through the sprinklers in your T-shirt, shoes, and... ♪

Phineas

Yeah, we all know the song. But I'm not exactly sure how....

Later that day, to make their escape, those boys crawled through 500 yards of foul-smelling nastiness I can't even imagine. 500 yards. That's the length of 11 baseball diamonds, one tennis court, a medium-sized male elephant, and a croquet wicket. It wasn't long before they found everything that they needed.

Phineas

Great! Let's hurry up and put this thing together.

Baljeet

But if we do the mind swap here, those criminals will still be out of jail.

Phineas

You're right! I hadn't thought of that.

So even later that day, those boys crawled back through 500 yards of foul-smelling nastiness that I-

Baljeet

Actually, it is not as bad as you would think.

Buford

Yeah! Gunge is actually quite refreshing!

Oh. Well, it was still 500 yards. That's the length of two volleyball courts, a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier, a large three-drawer filing cabinet, three French-

Buford

We're not listening anymore!

Oh. Okay, then.

Isabella

[showing up in the backyard; worried] Phineas, Pinky's missing!

Phineas

Aw, that's too bad, Isabella.

Buford

Chihuahuas, that's the first thing zombies go for.

Phineas

Uh, we moved past zombies, Buford.

Isabella

He's been gone all morning! He didn't even touch his breakfast burrito. What am I going to do?

Gretchen

We could put up posters.

Buford

We could do nothing.

Phineas

We could make a portable positronic canine detector using the old factory receptors that Ferb and I were gonna use for our milligram scale purification study.

Isabella

Let's do that one!

Candace

You kids have fun. Really, I wish I could stay and bust you, but I have a lunch date with Jeremy down at City Hall.

Baljeet

City Hall serves lunch?

Buford

I thought they only served subpoenas! [pause] Oh, come on! What's a guy gotta do to get a rimshot around here?!

Candace

For your information, I'm going down to City Hall because Jeremy's working the Slushy Dawg concession stand at the food court there. And we're gonna have lunch... together. [kneels down to Isabella] Don't worry, Isabella. I'm sure Pinky'll turn up. Perry always does. [concerned] Speaking of which, where is Perry?

Isabella

And where's Pinky?

Buford

Right here! Right here, he- What? [takes off the helmet] He should be right here! Oh, man!

Phineas

I don't get it. Maybe the helmet needs to be fine-tuned.

Buford

Yeah, you guys do that. I'm gonna go get a Slushy Dawg.

Phineas

Okay, gang. Today, we're gonna tie a legendary knot.

Buford

Woah woah woah! We're just startin'?! No—no intro, nothin'?! Just gettin' right into it?

Phineas

Yep, we're just doin' the knot.

Buford

Wait, how can we do somethin' not?

Phineas

No, it's "knot" spelled with a "k".

Buford

I didn't think it was spelled with a "k".

Phineas

No. It's "knot".....spelled with a "k".

Buford

I don't understand your pauses.

Phineas

Gentlemen and gentlemen, we present to you the Chupa-Copter!

Wow! Right on! Etcetera.

Candace

Wow. There's something you don't see every… [notices Phineas' outraged expression; confused] What?

Phineas

[scolds his sister Candace] Really, Candace? Do you have any idea what you just did?!

Candace

I was just trying to help.

Phineas

Well, your "help" this morning messed us up so badly, we came this close to being wiped out at the mall! I thought you would've learned your lesson!

Candace

But... but I—

Phineas

But, no! You show up again to help, and now Baljeet has been hulkified and is rampaging who knows where! And we're back to square one with restoring the heroes' powers!

Candace

But...but—

Phineas

This is just too important, and we can't afford any more setbacks! I'm revoking your S.H.E.D. card. [takes off her lanyard and rips up her card] You have to go, NOW!

Buford

I've always told her, don't ever make Phineas angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.

Candace

Finally, some real Rebel-busting! [takes off her Stormtrooper helmet] This is why I joined the Empire in the first place.

Baljeet

I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself!

Buford

I told you to go before the raid.

Baljeet

That is not what I meant. But now that you mentioned it...

Candace

Alright, lock it up. We've got rebels to bust!

Woah, woah, woah, where do you think you're going?

Candace

Uhh, space battle over that way?

Certainly not. You know your mission: to find socks for Lord Vader.

Candace

Yes, sir. SOCKS?! This is a total waste of my potential! [storms off with a frustrated grunt]

Buford

Not me. This is about where I peak.

[to Perry] Agent P, I need you to make sure this R2 unit goes to Obi-Wan Kenobi on Tatooine. But first, I need to record a video message. Be a dear and stand over by the bulkhead. You're kinda in my shot.

Candace

Can you believe this? Making us ride the bus pod? They better give us a real Rebel-fighting job this time and not just running some more errands.

Baljeet

[looks in the bag; worried] Uh-oh.

Candace

I mean, how hard is it to deliver socks?

Baljeet

Uh, Candace?

Candace

Yes?

Baljeet

I believe Buford acquires your attention.

Candace

Oh. What is it, Buford? [Buford pulls out what is revealed to be Darth Vader's black socks] Huh. Uh, Buford, I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to think very hard before you answer.

Buford

Thinking is always hard.

Candace

I know. Here's the thing. If we have Darth Vader's socks, what exactly did we give the commander?

Buford

Uh…

I find your lack of socks disturbing.

Isabella

[seeing a Linda-shaped cloud in the sky, floating over the Flynn-Fletcher house] Guys, is it just me or does that cloud kind of look like your mom?

Buford

Ooh! Sick burn!

Phineas

No, she's right! Look! That is Mom!

Candace

Yes! I recognize that look of tired disapproval anywhere!

Who wants pie?

Baljeet

[looking over his tablet] Inexplicably, your mother's vaporized bits have coalesced with the high humidity in the air to form a "cumulo-mom-bus" if you will.

Buford

In English, nerdy boy. [Baljeet hands him a Nerd-to-English dictionary] Oh, a Mom Cloud!

Baljeet

A Mom Cloud.

Phineas

[with Candace panicking back and forth behind him] But she looks very unstable.

Candace

No, no, no, no, no!

Buford

That also wasn't me.

Phineas

Guys, I know we have to do today! Save Mom!

Isabella

But how?

Phineas

Grab anything what we might need!

Candace

I brought Mom out, I bumped out the fan. It's my fault.

Candace

Wa-wa-wa-wa-wait! What can I do?

Phineas

Oh, uh, grab the Whack-a-Pest and follow us!

Isabella

[seeing the Linda Cloud coming towards the block party; terrified] Wow! She looks scary!

Buford

I dunno. Fear is subjective.