TV show quotes
Characters
Pee-weePaul Reubens · 39 quotes
JambiJohn Paragon · 7 quotes
RRandy6 quotes
F2Fish 24 quotes
RRicardo4 quotes
ChairryAlison Mork · 3 quotes
Cowboy CurtisLaurence Fishburne · 3 quotes
DixieJohann Carlo · 3 quotes
Magic ScreenAlison Mork · 3 quotes
Miss YvonneLynne Marie Stewart · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Pee-wee & Jambi (6), Pee-wee & Randy (6), Pee-wee & Ricardo (4)
Hey, Magic Screen, what's that red thing over there?
What a silly question Pee-wee. It's the door.
[Everyone screams]
Hey, Pee-wee!
Yes, Mr. Window?
Someone's at the do - uh...Someone's at the red-padded entrance.
Oh, you mean the door.
[Everyone screams again]
Hey, Pee-wee, are you ready to make your wish yet?
No, but I'll take a prediction.
Okay, I predict...we'll be back right after this!
[After Pee-wee wins dinner for two on Big Question]
Thanks for playing, and I hope you had fun! [Pee-wee screams] I get it! Secret word!
[Pee-wee attempts to putt his golf ball into the windmill, but misses; his friends cheer]
But I missed!
But nobody misses like you do, Pee-wee.
What style.
What flair.
What a lotta hooey. Psst! Hey, Pee-wee, come here. [Pee-wee walks up to him] Lemme straighten you out. Can't you see what's goin' on? Why do you think everyone's bein' so nice to ya?
'Cause they like me.
Ah, wise up, Pee-wee. Put two and two together. Everybody's bein' nice to you, because they want you to take 'em to that dinner. That's the only reason.
What's the matter, Pee-wee?
I'm bored, Randy.
Bored? There's plenty of things to do on a rainy day.
I know Randy, but I've done all them already.
No, you haven't. See this phone here?
Yes, I've called everyone I know.
So? Call some people you don't know.
What do you mean?
Here, I'll show you. [goes into the picture phone and dials a number of a housewife]
[picks up the phone] Hello.
Hello. Is your refrigerator running?
Why, yes.
Then you better go and catch it! [laughs; hangs up] See, Pee-wee? It's easy. You try one.
No, Randy. That's not fun. It's not nice to make prank phone calls!
Don't be such a chicken. [dials the number again] Here. It's ringing. [hands the phone to Pee-wee]
[annoyed] Hello?
Hello. Is your refrigerator running?
I've had just about enough of this! My husband is a police officer. [dramatic music] Darryl?
Yes, dear? [takes the phone from his wife] What's your name, kid?
Pee-wee Herman.
Well, you listen to me, Pee-wee Herman. Making prank phone calls is against the law! If I wasn't such a nice guy, I'd take you downtown and throw ya into jail! And you'd have a criminal record for the rest of your life. [dramatic music] Would ya like that?
Uh, no, sir. I mean, no, officer!
Yeah. All right. I'll let you go this time. But next time, you're goin' to jail.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, puppets, machines, and everyone else, big and little... [everyone else screams] Prepare to be stupid.
Stupefied!
Oh, yeah. Prepare to be stupefied. For the first time anywhere, presenting the Amazing Pee-wee!
[enters, appearing to be levitating] I love levitating.
And now, for my next trick,... [rolls up his sleeves] Nothin' up here. Nothin' up here. [points at his head] And nothin' up here.
What do cowboys eat?
Let's see. Uh,...Rattlesnakes, horn toads, cactus, armadillo, gophers, prairie dogs.
[grossed out] If I was a cowboy, I'd never eat.
I's just funnin' ya, Pee-wee. It's a cowboy joke.
Oh. [laughs] Cowboy joke.
Knock-knock!
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
I'll tell ya if ya stop cryin'! [laughs]
Hey, I got a genie joke for you. How many genies does it take to cross the road?
I don't know.
4. One to ride in the box, one to push the box, one to watch for traffic, and one to wish he was on the other side! [laughs] "Wish he was on the other..." [notices Pee-wee's confused look] Guess you had to be there.
[Pee-wee tosses Pterri's toy out the window]
Interception! [catches the toy]
[flies up to Mr. Kite] Hey! That's my toy!
Not anymore.
You have no business with that toy. Give it back.
No. It's mine.
Pee-wee! Pee-wee!
Yeah, what is it?!
Mr. Kite won't give me back my toy.
Mr. Kite, give Pterri back his toy!
See?! Pee-wee said you have to give me back my toy!
[tosses Pterri's toy back to him] Baby.
[catches his toy] I am not a baby. Pee-wee, Mr. Kite called me a baby.
All right, Pterri. Get in here.
[flies back inside] Why do I have to come in? Mr. Kite doesn't have to come in.
Baby.
Hey, Pee-wee, here comes Dixie!
[Dixie walks in with no jacket on and she is all oily]
Hi, Dixie. I didn't hear your horn honk.
All right. All right. If it'll make ya happy, "Honk! Honk!"
Boy, are you uptight or what?
I'm sorry, Pee-wee. [offers a handshake with her oily hand]
EWW!
Oh, my cab's got a flat tire! I had to walk all the way up the hill. You know, it's been a really bad day.
[Everyone screams]
Pee-wee So, where's the King of Cartoons?
Hey, your majesty! [beat] STEP ON IT!
[looks at his bill] $2 for a peanut butter sandwich?!
And jelly.
Hey, Miss Yvonne, let's play something.
Yes! Let's!
Let's play Army.
No. The last time I played Army, I got hurt.
I know! Let's play Headhunters.
No! I'm not playing Headhunters again!
[Dixie enters the playhouse while Pee-wee is hanging from the ceiling upside-down]
Pee-wee? Pee-wee! Pee-wee.
Hi, Dixie! I can see your bald spot.
[sarcastically] Whoops.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Pee-wee's Playhouse pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.