We've worked together for a while now. I'd like to think I know you pretty well. Plus, Ben butt-dialed me last night.
[Ron holds up his phone]
[over phone] OK, OK, and this is how Eleanor Roosevelt would kiss.
[over phone] Whoa, Eleanor likes the tongue. Show me Pelosi again.
[over phone] OK, lay down...
[Ron puts his phone away]
Please tell me you hung up before Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
This is a scandal waiting to happen. If you get caught which you CLEARLY will, Chris will fire you and I won't be able to stop him.
Ron, we're being very careful.
[Ron holds up his phone]
[over phone] Oh President Reagan, my blazer popped open.
[over phone impersonating Ronald Reagan] Well, Maggie Thatcher, let me help you with that. Our countries have had a very special relationship.
...You've proven your point.
Guess I'll be heading home.
Catching the number 12 bus to Satan's butthole?
Actually I prefer the number 69 train to Humpsville station.
Red alert, Swanson! Your ex-wife's back!
Not her. The other ex-wife.
[They all look at Ron's window and see a woman partially obscured by the blinds]
Oh Shit! [runs away in fear]
[Being Interviewed] What's 5,000 times better than a candle in the wind?
[Cut to Andy about to perform at the memorial]
This song is called "5,000 Candles In The Wind"
[Ron bolts out of the office past Leslie, then turns back to her]
[Ron grabs Leslie's chair and wheels it down the hallway]
Ron! Hey, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, Ron-Ron-Ron-Ron-Ron, what's going on?
[Ron grabs a footrest off the shoe shine stand]
Yeah, I saw her in the courtyard.
No, my other ex-wife Tammy - Tammy One.
[Leslie gasps]
I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting now, I am using all of them. While I'm gone, you're in charge.
[Ron plunges the footrest into the wall, steps up, removes an air grate and retrieves a large bag of survival equipment marked "Tammy One" from the duct]
Also, I keep a sizable supply of ground chuck in my desk. Remove it, or it will begin to smell. Godspeed.
[Ron runs down the hall at full speed, plowing into Jerry in the process.]
That's enough small talk. What do you want?
You remember what I do for a living I trust?
Yes. You ruin people's lives.
You're being audited Ronald.
Then why is your mustache trembling?
I'm here as a friend. Call it nostalgia. Or perhaps guilt for all the times I tried to smother you in your sleep...
Wrong. You do. But as you're so fond of saying, it's a free county. Good luck. I hope you don't go to jail.
Umm hi. Are you the receptionist?
MModel
I guess. I don't really know.
If you don't mind me asking, how much are they paying you?
MModel
$100,000 a year! With full medical.
[cut to Ben being interviewed]
I would guess that they'll be bankrupt by the end of...this sentence!
