Sewage Joe quotes from Parks and Recreation

Tom

Don't freak out, but Sewage Joe just unhooked your bra with his eyes.

Leslie

What? Oh boy.

Leslie

Hi Joe.

What's up Knope? Looking good these days. What do you say? Van's out back, let's roll.

Leslie

Where is this coming from!?

I don't know. You're putting out some vibe today. It's driving me crazy. Listen, if you're looking for a good time, why don't you come on down to the toilet party? That's what we call the Sewage Department.

Leslie

Great. Okay.

Liking the view.

Still got it Joe.

Leslie

No you don't!

Leslie

Hi Joe. I know you're going to take this the wrong way but can I talk to you for a second?

You can do anything to me for any number of seconds.

Leslie

Hmmm.

Would you like to talk outside in my van?

Leslie

No here's fine. I was...flattered by what you said earlier. And I was just wondering, what do you look for in a woman?

She can't be in a wheelchair. No canes. No gray hair.

Leslie

So basically you're just attracted to me because I'm not an old person.

Yeah. And as I aforementioned, you have a killer dumpster.

Andy

Sewage Joe! Ben Wyatt fired you for sending pictures of your penis to everyone and you've come here to pie him!

The little twerp has it coming!

Andy

Oh do I dare ya! Please! Give me one reason to take you down. I would love nothing-

Andy

Aww Fuck Ben! Sorry!

Andy

Oh ho! I did it!

Ben

[covered in pie] Yeah...Great job.