New Trekker quotes from Night Court

New Trekker

[dressed as Geordi La Forge] Admit it, the old Enterprise was a piece of junk!

Old Trekker

[dressed as Mr. Spock] Oh, yeah? How would you like a Vulcan death grip?

New Trekker/Old Trekker

Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!

Bull

How do you like the Bailiff Bull grip?

Dan

Your Honor, the defendants were arrested after a disturbance that erupted during a seminar on "Androids on Starfleet Command Vehicles"... Don't you guys ever just get loaded and hire a stripper?

Old Trekker

Captain Kirk would never have allowed androids on the bridge! Rules are rules.

New Trekker

Oh, yeah? He didn't seem to have any trouble breaking the Prime Directive anytime he felt like it!

Old Trekker

Go suck on a Tribble!

New Trekker

Go sit on a phaser!

OOOOHHH! [slams gavel] None of that language in my courtroom. Defense.

Christine Sullivan

My clients plead innocence.

On What Grounds?!

Christine Sullivan

They claim to be victims of a mind meld.

A mind meld?! Oh come on. Get real, guys. Star Trek is a TV show for crimity sakes. I'm gonna fine you each $30 and I suggest you stop living with your parents. [slams gavel]

New Trekker

You have no authority over us!

I beg your pardon?

New Trekker

We are governed by the laws of the Federation.

Is that so?! Ok, that's contempt, Chuckle! One day in the county jail! [slams gavel again]