Jack Sullivan quotes from Night Court

Jack Sullivan

Hey, judge!

Harry

Yeah?

Jack Sullivan

You're scum!

Harry

Mister, I was patient before, now I'm giving you one more chance to get a grip on yourself.

Jack Sullivan

I hate your filthy, rotten, stinking, slime-soaked guts!

Harry

Okay. (bangs gavel) Contempt of court.

Christine

Daddy, what happened?

Jack Sullivan

I got caught with a hooker.

Parents say the darnedest things, don't they?

Jack Sullivan

You know that your mother and I dated for a long time. I wanted like hell to propose to her, but I was always broke, and... well, anyway, one day we're at Coney Island. I had eight hot dogs, six candy apples, and a pound of cotton candy - I threw up three times.

Christine

In other words, you had a great time.

Jack Sullivan

The best! We stop at Great Sal's Ball Throw and Lithuanian Deli. I throw the balls and win this ring. And I say to your mother, just kidding, "I think this means we should get married." And your mother gets this funny look on her face, and says... "I'd love to."