There's a bit at the end that kind of disturbed me a little - yeah. Licking his finger going up to her armpit, does he have, like, got deodorant saliva? And he's offering her...
MMike
She shaved everything but one hair and it's driving him mad. "You got one..." *poink* you know... that's the noise it sounds when you pull one hair out... "poink."
"Poink"'s probably right yeah... onomatopoeically.
FFairbrass
Onomatopoeically, hello?
Was he just turned on by a big word then? Never do Countdown, never ever... (as Fairbrass) Oooh, oh conundrum, hello!
FFairbrass
I do not speak like that!
FFairbrass
(laughing) I do not! I do not!
Let's have a look then at the Billy Bragg thing. (a still from Sexuality by Billy Bragg is shown - Billy is seen holding a sign saying "Uality" next to a road sign saying "Essex") He's at the side of the A13 if we can have a look at that...
KKiki
You think he actually got to "Uality" in the end?
Richard's just gone "what's 'ualty'?" We're gonna win tonight(!)
FFairbrass
I thought maybe it was a town!
That you got banned from!
(referring to Durst) He's just really eager hitching isn't he? "My way or highway!"
Well it's very very hard to get to Uality these days.
FFairbrass
I think he looks a bit like David Beckham in a funny fairground mirror at the end. David Beckham went up to one of those mirrors that's what he would look like.
And that's the connection?
Quite importantly can I just say looking at Victoria Beckham...
FFairbrass
Is it gonna be funny what you're gonna say?
I'd imagine so, or I wouldn't be saying it...
FFairbrass
Press on then.
(as Fairbrass) Oooh, press on, Mark! Press on!
Looking at the Victoria Beckham thing, it's very important this time of year, a timely reminder to kids, never ever return to the lit firework once it's been...
It must be something to do with the fact that actually, she only eats a biscuit for lunch or something like that... (we see a flash of bright lights and hear a clap of thunder)
(in a deeply electronically processed voice) The voice of rock!
I see I'm the fall guy in this equation, but okay. (Phill laughs) (to Fairbrass) Do you think he's stereotyping us at all? Richard, shall we swap roles? Maybe I'll do the camp bits and...
Oh yeah, you're gonna be editor of Kerrang! for a long time if you're doing the camp bits!
At least it might mean that some of your readers can have sex! (thunder and lightning) It's worked for you, Fairbrass!
FFairbrass
It is true to say I that have been a player of the pink oboe. And I can raise a real tune on it occasionally...
FFairbrass
...but not for some time.
(laughs) It's the idea of him in bed with someone and, just the duvet, and underneath the duvet... (hums PEnnsylvania 6-5000)
FFairbrass
If you know the holes to put your finger on you can play a tune! (to Mark) You're always like this when I'm on the show!
FFairbrass
We should just go out, kiss and get it over with.
Let's kiss now. Let's do the gay Buzzcocks kiss. (a female audience member shouts "Ugh!". Fairbrass laughs and points at the audience member, while Mark and the audience laugh.) I think they meant "Ooh, he's gonna to kiss Mark!"
FFairbrass
I like flushing your mouth.
That's the last thing you'll get, a kiss maybe. You're not flushing me out I'll tell you that! You can see why it's been six series before we've had him back!
FFairbrass
I've moved house, you lost my address or something.
Can I just... Have we got Fairbrass because another pop quiz in another country's had like an exchange student affair? Is that why you went... (Fairbrass thrusts his pelvis) ...don't ever! Not on my watch, soldier!
FFairbrass
I did it to a Hamburger once.
You shagged a hamburger? 'Cos it said you can have it with or without a gherkin?
Did you sing to it before hand? "Hello...
SFSean & Fairbrass
Is it me you're looking for?"
FFairbrass
(thrusts his pelvis) Bosh!
(Sean mimes having sex with a burger)
(pointing at Sean) It's Hamburglar!
Never Mind the Buzzcocks · 480 quotes
