NCIS · Season 9
What were you doing at the crime scene, Detective?
What I've been doing every day for the past thirteen years. I was solving a case.
Wasn't yours to solve.
You know what? I'm not gonna sleep until I find Maya's killer, and I don't trust anybody else to do this job, especially a bunch of Navy cops.
You think we're not doing all we can?
I think you don't have a clue how it feels to lose the one you love.
You're wrong.
You know, you should let McGee take care of that tech stuff.
I can handle it, Tony, thank you. Why is this thing not even turning on?
It's okay to ask for help, you know.
Do not need help, Tony. I am fine.
Uh-huh. I can see that. Give it to me. [She gives tony her cell phone.] Listen, don't beat yourself up. There's no way you could have seen it coming, no way any of us could have seen it coming. You'll find somebody, someday.
I'm not sure I want to. I don't think children and marriage are a part of the plan for me right now and I am fine with that. Perfectly. Perfectly content with my life.
Content, but are you happy?
Are you?
[Tony hands Ziva her phone. Buress enters.]
Detective Buress.
Sorry. I, uh, I know it's late. I just needed to hear you say it in person. You guys got the guy who killed Mia?
Yeah, it's over. We, uh, apprehended him this afternoon.
I'm not asking how, Agent Dinozzo, I'm asking who.
His name is Ray Cruz and he will never, ever hurt anyone again.
Thank you for all you've done. Guess you Navy cops aren't so bad.
Gee, thanks. Walk you out?
Yeah, yeah sure. So, how long you two been together?
'[laughs] Oh no, we're not a couple.
Just co-workers.
And friends.
Yes, yes. Very good friends.
That's good. That's, uh, real good. You hang on to that. You never know when you're gonna need somebody to be there. Cherish each other, that's all I'm sayin'. Every day.
[Tony & Ziva look at each other in the elevator.]
[standing at McGee's desk] This is definitely unusual.
Unusual is the operative word.
[walks in out of the elevator] What are you two doing?
Don't play dumb, Tim. We're trained federal agents. We can see when something's up.
And something is definitely up.
What are you two talking about?
The two computer monitors on your desk have been swapped. No one just up and changes their viewing angle. Something is up, McAnal Probie.
My monitors? That's what you're worried about?
We're not big on change around here.
Well I thought I would try something a little different today.
What makes today so special?
We know that look, McGee. It is somewhere between melancholy and constipation.
Consternation.
No, I actually meant that his mind looked clogged.
[going through the trash] This can't be good. He cleaned out his desk, too.
[whispers loudly, having seen McGee approach] Albatross! Albatross! [moves quickly to the large monitor, as though working]
Petty Officer Janet McCaffrey had a spotless record.
Two deployments on two different ships: the Ontario and the Gentry.
[looking on suspiciously] So it's finally happened: you two are snooping together, as a team.
We are merely curious and concerned.
Well, it's nothing you need to know about.
Computer monitors, clandestine meetings in Vance's office; you're up to something, McDevious. I can tell. Wait a second! Are you finally getting that sex change operation? Good for you, McGee. Or is it McShe? No judgement! I'm proud of you.
Look, Director Vance offered me a job promotion, okay? As head of the cyber division in Okinawa.
That's it?
Yes.
Well everybody knows that, Tim. Good for you. It's fantastic. You've gotta take that opportunity. The last cyber agent? He's at Microsoft now.
Yeah, as head of security. The guy's a rockstar.
Let's not get carried away.
Why are you being so normal about all this? Your sincerity is disconcerting.
You prefer I attack you with some kind of sarcastic, hostile remark?
Sort of, yeah. What do I do?
It's your choice, but I'd trust my gut. It's what Gibbs would do.
Just think of all the cases, all of the lives you've touched, Gibbs. You sacrificed everything to help those people.
But I wanted both.
It doesn't work like that.
[mumbling in Hebrew] Unbelievable!
You finally saw The Crying Game?
No. I got a speeding ticket!
Oh. You know what that means, McGee.
The system works.
I was barely going over the limit!
Let me see. [takes the ticket from Ziva's outstretched hand] It says you were doing 80 in a 40.
Not the entire time.
Did you tell them you were a federal agent?
Excuse me?
Well, sometimes if they know they look the other way. [flahes badge] Oh, that's not my wallet!
You do that often?
With one notable exception, I haven't gotten a speeding ticket in seventeen years.
Or paid for parking at football games.
It's a gray area. Sometimes I even get my donuts and coffee for free.
I do not think Gibbs would approve.
What Gibbs doesn't know won't hurt him.
What don't I know, DiNozzo?
Um, Ziva got a speeding ticket! [looks uncomfortable after receiving a disapproving look from Ziva] And I sometimes get coffee for free. But I tip big! All right, let's have it. [receives a smack]
Let's go. Dead Navy captain.
Do you ever get the feeling that he enjoys being smacked in the head?
I'd rather not think about it.
Sorry, I'm just --
Really pensive.
Confused.
Why, because you made out with your ex-fiance today?
[scoffs] What are you talking about?
Lipstick. It's not your color.
[looks in the mirror] Eagle eye, McGee.
So what's the problem? She's divorced. You're single.
The problem is been there, done that. Crash. Burn.
That bad?
NTSB is still looking for bodies.
What happened?
That's a good question, McGee. You always ask the good questions.
[to Tony] That is something Wendy mentioned about you. That you were one of the most honest people she knew. To others. She said the only person you lied to was yourself, which you do. A lot.
[looking at a heart] It's hard to believe they're so small sometimes.
What's on your mind, Tony? You sound a little pensive.
I'm not pensive! What is it with everyone and that word? [realizes he's shouting] Sorry. I was --
Would you like to talk about it?
You ever have something terrible happen to you and you think you've put it all behind you, but then the terrible comes back and it's more terrible than it was before?
I'm confused.
So am I.
Tony, it was very clear to me from the very first day I met you that you were a man in pain.
[scoffs] I'm sorry, I think you have me confused with someone else.
No, your pain is as clear to me as Jethro's. He lost Shannon, the one love of his life, and you lost faith in yourself for so many reasons. Jethro coped with his pain by repeatedly marrying the wrong woman, thus ensuring that ultimately he would be alone and safe from heartbreak. You repeatedly chased the wrong woman. You're alone because you never did as you just said: put it all behind you.
I lied to you, Tony.
About?
Why I invited you to lunch. You were wrong. I was not trying to get information for a story. I invited you because I wanted to see you. Your turn.
Why?
Uh, because we're taking turns and now it's your turn.
No. That is not what I meant and you know it.
You want to know why I left.
I want to know why you said yes to me when the answer was really no. I want to know why you waited until the very last moment to tell me the truth. But most of all, my runaway bride, I would like to know why.
Would it make a difference now? If you weren't so sad and so lonely you wouldn't even be wondering.
[laughs] Sad and lonely? You have me confused with Bosco. You like to see my little black e-book?
Show me whatever you like, but it's not going to change what I see with my own eyes. You should tell her how you feel, whoever she is.
A) That's never going to happen, B) get out of my head, and C) answer the question.
I left because I wasn't read to meet "the one", okay? And you were the one.
That doesn't make any sense.
Are you sure? Because from I see you've spent the last nine years avoiding relationships. I was just broken first, which is why I left my hero cop to marry a stockbroker who cared more about money than people. I wasn't read to meet the one when we met, Tony, but I sent you that invitation because I am now.
Sorry I was late. Been waiting for Mr Palmer to return from an errand. I had to leave without him.
What errand?
Breena called. The wedding caterer they planned on using had gone out of business. The sobs almost woke the dead.
She pretty upset?
[deadpan] She wasn't the one crying.
[McGee raises his eyebrows. Ziva laughs.]
Agent Gibbs, I'd like you to meet...
[to Wendy] Still working for the Evening Tribune?
The Globe.
You two know each other...? Oh, please tell me that you weren't married.
No, but we go back.
Good, that should make things easier. Or worse.
Oh, snap! You're one of them!
If you mean real-life superhero, then yes.
Let me guess: "I.C.U."?
That's right, because that's where you go if you mess with me.
[Clarence writes down a suspect's partial license plate number.]
Three letters... I guess super memory isn't one of your superpowers.
Make all the fun you want, but what I do is important. I talked a kid out of a gang just last week. I know the costumes seem silly, but they're just a gimmick. They help defuse tense situations.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
