TV QuotesDatabase
S9 E15

NCIS · Season 9, Episode 15

“Secrets” quotes from NCIS

10 quotes

“Secrets” · Season 9, Episode 15

In this episode: Tony DiNozzo (6), Leroy Jethro Gibbs (4), Timothy McGee (3), Ducky Mallard (3), Ziva David (2), Leon Vance (1)

[mumbling in Hebrew] Unbelievable!

You finally saw The Crying Game?

No. I got a speeding ticket!

Oh. You know what that means, McGee.

The system works.

I was barely going over the limit!

Let me see. [takes the ticket from Ziva's outstretched hand] It says you were doing 80 in a 40.

Not the entire time.

Did you tell them you were a federal agent?

Excuse me?

Well, sometimes if they know they look the other way. [flahes badge] Oh, that's not my wallet!

You do that often?

With one notable exception, I haven't gotten a speeding ticket in seventeen years.

Or paid for parking at football games.

It's a gray area. Sometimes I even get my donuts and coffee for free.

I do not think Gibbs would approve.

What Gibbs doesn't know won't hurt him.

What don't I know, DiNozzo?

Um, Ziva got a speeding ticket! [looks uncomfortable after receiving a disapproving look from Ziva] And I sometimes get coffee for free. But I tip big! All right, let's have it. [receives a smack]

Let's go. Dead Navy captain.

Do you ever get the feeling that he enjoys being smacked in the head?

I'd rather not think about it.

Sorry, I'm just --

Really pensive.

Confused.

Why, because you made out with your ex-fiance today?

[scoffs] What are you talking about?

Lipstick. It's not your color.

[looks in the mirror] Eagle eye, McGee.

So what's the problem? She's divorced. You're single.

The problem is been there, done that. Crash. Burn.

That bad?

NTSB is still looking for bodies.

What happened?

That's a good question, McGee. You always ask the good questions.

[to Tony] That is something Wendy mentioned about you. That you were one of the most honest people she knew. To others. She said the only person you lied to was yourself, which you do. A lot.

[looking at a heart] It's hard to believe they're so small sometimes.

What's on your mind, Tony? You sound a little pensive.

I'm not pensive! What is it with everyone and that word? [realizes he's shouting] Sorry. I was --

Would you like to talk about it?

You ever have something terrible happen to you and you think you've put it all behind you, but then the terrible comes back and it's more terrible than it was before?

I'm confused.

So am I.

Tony, it was very clear to me from the very first day I met you that you were a man in pain.

[scoffs] I'm sorry, I think you have me confused with someone else.

No, your pain is as clear to me as Jethro's. He lost Shannon, the one love of his life, and you lost faith in yourself for so many reasons. Jethro coped with his pain by repeatedly marrying the wrong woman, thus ensuring that ultimately he would be alone and safe from heartbreak. You repeatedly chased the wrong woman. You're alone because you never did as you just said: put it all behind you.

WWendy

I lied to you, Tony.

About?

WWendy

Why I invited you to lunch. You were wrong. I was not trying to get information for a story. I invited you because I wanted to see you. Your turn.

Why?

WWendy

Uh, because we're taking turns and now it's your turn.

No. That is not what I meant and you know it.

WWendy

You want to know why I left.

I want to know why you said yes to me when the answer was really no. I want to know why you waited until the very last moment to tell me the truth. But most of all, my runaway bride, I would like to know why.

WWendy

Would it make a difference now? If you weren't so sad and so lonely you wouldn't even be wondering.

[laughs] Sad and lonely? You have me confused with Bosco. You like to see my little black e-book?

WWendy

Show me whatever you like, but it's not going to change what I see with my own eyes. You should tell her how you feel, whoever she is.

A) That's never going to happen, B) get out of my head, and C) answer the question.

WWendy

I left because I wasn't read to meet "the one", okay? And you were the one.

That doesn't make any sense.

WWendy

Are you sure? Because from I see you've spent the last nine years avoiding relationships. I was just broken first, which is why I left my hero cop to marry a stockbroker who cared more about money than people. I wasn't read to meet the one when we met, Tony, but I sent you that invitation because I am now.

Sorry I was late. Been waiting for Mr Palmer to return from an errand. I had to leave without him.

What errand?

Breena called. The wedding caterer they planned on using had gone out of business. The sobs almost woke the dead.

She pretty upset?

[deadpan] She wasn't the one crying.

[McGee raises his eyebrows. Ziva laughs.]

Agent Gibbs, I'd like you to meet...

[to Wendy] Still working for the Evening Tribune?

WWendy

The Globe.

You two know each other...? Oh, please tell me that you weren't married.

No, but we go back.

Good, that should make things easier. Or worse.

Oh, snap! You're one of them!

CTClarence Tobett

If you mean real-life superhero, then yes.

Let me guess: "I.C.U."?

CTClarence Tobett

That's right, because that's where you go if you mess with me.

[Clarence writes down a suspect's partial license plate number.]

Three letters... I guess super memory isn't one of your superpowers.

CTClarence "I.C.U." Tobett

Make all the fun you want, but what I do is important. I talked a kid out of a gang just last week. I know the costumes seem silly, but they're just a gimmick. They help defuse tense situations.

[in Autopsy]

[re: Captain Wallace] Doin' a little street fighting.

Presumably he took his role as a vigilante quite seriously.

Come on, Duck.

[chuckles] I take it you do not approve.

Duck, it's not their job, they could get hurt.

Jethro, most of them already have been. Aside from their love of comic books, what most of these crime fighters have in common is being victims of violent crime themselves, or abuse, or tragedy. I mean, take a look at Captain Wallace. [shows Gibbs a file] His wife died in childbirth, and then his daughter died when a balcony collapsed in a shopping mall.

McGee said his specialty was building code violations.

It's hardly a coincidence. Whereas others might have succumbed to depression, or drug abuse, these men and women have channeled their angst into something positive. Who's to judge?

These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.