NCIS · Season 9
Listen everyone, I don't want any special treatment. I'm a Marine first and pregnant second.
Oorah.
Oo-right.
Well I will gladly take the special treatment. I like mine with extra marshmallows with a little tiny spoon please.
[annoyed] Who do you think I am? Your elf??
Actually, I'll take one with marshmallows too.
Thought you said you didn't want any special-- [Gibbs looks at him] Extra marshmallows, coming up!
The snow is falling faster than my holiday spirit. There's a pregnant Marine being hunted on Christmas. Heaven and nature are not singing.
[McGee finds Ed and Palmer locked up in Abby's ballistics room]
How long have they been back there?
[smiles] Not long enough.
I can't hear a word they're saying.
If you hadn't made that remark about her tattoos, we wouldn't be in time-out. [looks at his watch] I've got six minutes left.
[Tony and the suspect Veli Tupolev are in the interrogation room munching on Christmas cookies and staring at each other]
Ya know, Wendy used to make the most kick-ass snickerdoodle.
[Tupolev stares at him while eating a cookie]
I'm gonna start with a series of true or false statements.
[stares at Tony and McGee] What are you talking about?
Just think of it like lie detector test, with cookies. You just have to sit there and eat.
[as Tony and McGee leave]
Good luck.
[scoffs] Yeah, "good luck."
Why in the world would you say it like that?
Why? The weather, the road closures. They're never gonna make it.
[angry] How the hell would you know? They're trained agents.
Well...
You might not respect me or what it is we do here, but you have got to respect the fact that these people, my people, are risking their lives.
[embarrassed] Well, if you're gonna put it like that...
There's no other way to put it. Until you can figure that out, we're not going anywhere. Sit down and shut up!
[panting] Oh boy, the baby's coming!
Gibbs, we have company. What do you want to do?
[exhales] Defend our position.
[Reynolds is going into labor]
Are you asking for special treatment, Marine?
Sir, yes sir, just this once.
So I guess you have somewhere else to be.
Yeah? Well, so do you.
I went. Sat in the car for about twenty minutes debating. I didn't go in. Decided to swing by casa de Gibbs instead.
Well, we all make our own choices, DiNozzo.
You think I made a mistake?
I think you made it twice now.
When I joined NCIS I knew what you expected of me: everything. Doesn't exactly leave a lot of room for the Wendys of the world.
You come here to blame me, DiNozzo?
No boss.
Good.
Family and job. Two different cups.
That's right
And if I couldn't fill both, that was my problem.
Uh-huh.
What if I can now?
Then get out of my basement. Man up and move on.
Like you have?
Don't be like me. Learn from it.
You should cut yourself some slack, EJ. What's the saying? That which does not kills us makes us stronger. I think Nietzsche said that. The thing to remember about Friedrich Nietzsche, of course, is that he died in an insane asylum. That's probably not the best way to start a pep-talk, huh?
So much for my big plans, huh? What about your plans, Ziva? Beyond NCIS. Family?
Maybe, someday. Though that day seems increasingly distant at the moment.
[holds up her coffee in a toast] To someday.
Someday.
[looking down at a case of guns] All I wanted for breakfast was the coffee.
Now we're ready for a fair fight.
Always good to be prepared.
I've been prepared for months. With Cole on the loose, it's time to bring out some Connery, and I'm paraphrasing: never bring a knife to a gun fight.
James Bond?
Untouchables, 1987. Connery won an Academy Award for that.
You know, one of these days I'd like to actually meet someone who appreciates movies the way I do, or at least appreciates the way I appreciate them.
She does, Tony.
Who?
Ziva.
[laughs] Agent Ziva David believes that Pirates of the Caribbean is a cinema classic.
I'm not talking about movies, Tony. I'm talking about you. She cares.
What's the matter with you? We're co-workers.
Yeah?
We're teammates.
Uh-huh.
We have each other's back.
Exactly.
Huh. Surround yourself with people you would give your own life for.
So, EJ is gone?
And safe, for a change.
May I ask where?
Someplace quiet, with someone she can count on. Hopefully.
That is the word, is it not? Hopefully. Even when you think you can count on someone, you often cannot.
Do I detect a blip on the Ray-dar?
I would rather not discuss it.
Well, since EJ and I parted friends, Agent Cruz seems to have some communication issues.
Yeah, and I'm losing my patience.
As you well should. [walks over to her desk] You know, you and I, we have a lot in common in that respect.
[laughs] You think?
Oh, I don't think. I know.
Well, then I am grateful to have someone in my life who is just as romantically dysfunctional as I am.
Agent David, do you really consider me to be in your life? [Ziva looks down at her mobile phone as it rings] No. Seriously?
What should I say?
Say hello.
Oh, Ok
According to Abby's GPS coordinates, the killer was standing over there. Can't see any footprints.
Yeah, knew not to leave a trace.
Yeah, unlike some people. You know, I'm gonna start charging your boyfriend minutes.
Please tell me you have not spoken to Ray!
Okay, I haven't spoken to Ray.
Unbelievable! You're supposed to be on my side.
Now look. The guy's desperate. What am I supposed to do?
Just stay out of it!
Tell me what happened.
He does not appreciate me. There.
If I had a dollar every time a woman said that to me.
While he was overseas, you know, we stayed as connected as best as we could. Trying to make whatever we had, you know, just work. Now he was finally back and, uh, we planned this -- this lovely dinner, but he never showed, Tony. I waited in that restaurant, alone, for three hours. No text, no call, nothing. [sighs] When I saw him next, it was the following morning, and then he just said he got caught up with work.
Well.
Look it just brought me back to when I was young how my father could be. There was always something more important and I was always left waiting for a...
There's someone there.
Yeah.
Keep your partner away from this investigation.
Can't make any guarantees. Nick's a bulldog, always has been.
He that way with his wife?
[chuckles] Come on, I meant with his job. He's the best damn homicide detective we've got.
Can't break a case without him, huh?
Yeah, pretty much.
How long you been partners?
Thirteen years. You know, Maya used to say I was his second wife.
That ever a problem?
No, never. He's the only cop I know who was still on his first marriage.
How about you, Detective? Second? Third?
[sheepishly holds up four fingers] Yeah, not very proud of it. You know, sometimes, I wish I was more like Nick, a one-woman kind of guy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
