(to suspect) You went home with one woman and woke up with another.
I hate it when that happens...
S2 E16Pop Life
I need the condoms tested.
Not what you want to hear first thing in the morning...
(about stripper) Wow Kate! How'd you get her to do that?
Paranoid.
Sounds like someone I know.
Are you done yet? (Standing over McGee, eating a cookie. Wipes crumbs off of McGee's head)
(after Gibbs takes the last cookie) That's so not right.
(Tony watching a singer/dancer at the club, nodding his head up and down with the music)
Tony stop jumping up and down. We can't see.
WWillie
I dunno about you, but I've slept with a lot of women.
I wouldn't know anything about that Willy, I'm a Mormon.
I'm flattered that you would entrust your relationship to me. It will be rather like.... marriage counseling. (smiles, Tony and Kate give a look)
Oh, let's not use those words.
Are you done?
Almost.
Done or fired. Those are your options.
Done.
DiNozzo!
(Tony is snoring)
I'll wake him up.
No. I got a better idea. (Speeds up then slams on the brakes. Tony is now awake)
Bad dream, DiNozzo?!
I... wha... uh... wha...
You done?
Almost.
"Done" or "fired" are the choices.
Done.
S2 E17An Eye for an Eye
A dead transsexual sailor, his spook instructor and a pair of human eyes walk into a bar, what's the punchline Kate?
Whatever it is, it involves this girl and Paraguay.
That's true, but not very funny. Probie! Make me laugh!
Okay, the bartender doesn't believe it so he asks the spook instructor 'what the hell is going on?' And the guy says 'what, guy can't have a drink with his pupils?'
Gibbs will get over it
When?
Well, let's see. Last year Tony spilled his coffee and he warmed up to him... oh, about an hour ago. So, roughly eight to ten months.
LCLt. Col. Bushnell
I got your email, Special Agent Gibbs, and to tell you the truth, I was shocked - when did you learn to use a computer?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.