Money...the root of all evil.
S12 E7The Searchers
Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs! I have news, I have lots of news, I have big news.
[about the cat he adopted] He's like the feline version of me.
Abs, I have pulled two all-nighters in a row and I've nothing left to give.
[enters Abby's lab with two Caf-Pows] I have two things left to give and they're both Caf-Pows. [hands Abby and McGee the drinks] Pow! Pow!
Jimmy, you are a lifesaver. [glares at McGee] You. Drink.
PPrice
[while being handcuffed by Tony] It was self-defense. I wouldn't dare...I was just scaring him, he came at me. I'm telling you, it was self-defense.
You gave him false hope. You murdered a United States Marine. There is no defense for that.
S12 E9Grounded
[to a woman looking at the snow outside the window] Pretty, isn't it?
WWoman
[turns to look at Bishop] Oh, yes dear. It's just lovely. [smiles at Bishop, who returns the smile] It's lovely how it turned a one-hour drive into three, soaked a brand new pair of my shoes right down to the toes. Simply spectacular.
Well, at least you'll be getting away from it for the holiday.
WWoman
I'm going to Calgary.
Flight delays make nice people cranky and cranky people crankier.
[Ducky and Palmer walk into the hotel room (crime scene) covered in snow]
It ain't a fit night out for man nor beast.
And yet I'm the one who had to get out and push the van, Shakespeare.
That was W. C. Fields, Mr. Palmer, in The Fatal Glass of Beer. And I predict you will be pushing it again on the way back.
JJake
Gees, when you're looking for bad guys––
––they all look like bad guys.
S12 E11Check
[in an eerie reprise of Season 10's "Devil's Trifecta", McGee enters Gibbs's house and find him and Rebecca asleep on the couch, entwined (albeit fully clothed)]
[whispering urgently] Boss? Boss!
[entering] How long does it take to...? [sees] Holy Fourth of July Weenie Roast, WHAT THE HELL AM I LOOKING AT?!
S12 E14Cadence
[In a flashback to Tony's time at the Remington Military Academy in the 1980s]
TPTravis "Piggy" Phelps
They're playing a movie tonight at Remsen Hall. Patton again. I could hold a couple seats for us.
ADAnthony DiNozzo, Jr.
I'm good.
PPhelps
I don't mind. Front row goes fast.
DDiNozzo
Hey, Piggy, this isn't a movie. We're not gonna become unlikely friends. I just wanna be alone. [Goes back to dribbling the ball, then turns to Phelps] Alright, that was harsh. Tell you what; we can go to that movie if you want to. Cool?
PPhelps
Cool.
[Phelps leaves, and Tony continues shooting hoops. The lights in the basketball gym suddenly shut off.]
DDiNozzo
Hello? What the hell?
MGMark Golan
Cadet DiNozzo, you've been found guilty of breaking rules under the Code of Conduct. Your punishment will be delivered by Honor Corps.
DDiNozzo
I'm guessing you're the Honor Corps.
GGolan
You're ours for the night, DiNozzo. And we're gonna have fun.
DDiNozzo
Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and opt out.
[DiNozzo goes to leave, but Golan and the cadet to his right block the way.]
GGolan
No.
DDiNozzo
Alright. You really wanna do this? Huh?
CGCoach Gerald Tanner
DiNozzo, where the hell have you been? Basketball practice started ten minutes ago down in the weight room- you're late! [Sternly, to Golan] You'll need to make do without him.
[Golan and the other four cadets with him leave the gym.]
DDiNozzo
Thanks, Coach Tanner.
TTanner
Don't thank me yet. I've seen you shoot. You got talent. I meant it; you're officially on the basketball team. And officially ten minutes late. Twenty laps, DiNozzo.
Make it count, skippy!
Thank you, boss!
S12 E17The Artful Dodger
JJanitor
[holding out a mop to his son] Your turn.
SSon
Dad, you know I'm just doing this until I finish school, right?
JJanitor
People call this kind of work "blue collar." I don't care what color your shirt is. You bring pride to the job, people notice. And even if they don't, you'll notice. Got it?
SSon
[smiles] Yes, sir.
ADAnthony DiNozzo, Sr.
I feel terrible that you good people have to see me like this, but you know what a jackass love can be.
S12 E21Lost in Translation
[In a video shot in Afghanistan; GySgt Wilks is driving a Humvee while Cpt. Landis rides in the front passenger seat.]
GWGySgt. Wilks
Captain Landis, what day are we on?
CLCpt. Landis
Eighteen. Only 160 to go.
GWGySgt. Wilks
How does it feel to be back?
CLCpt. Landis
My God! Like we never left. Home sweet home! [Suddenly alert] We got a contact ahead. Stop the Humvee!
[In the NCIS offices, as the remainder of the video plays]
GWGySgt. Wilks
This is the first time Captain Landis and I met Qasim. We hit an IED during a patrol outside of Kabul.
[In the video, Qasim approaches the disabled Humvee and opens the front passenger door while Cpt. Landis and GySgt. Wilkes are unconscious.]
QNQasim Naasir
It is okay. You will be all right.
GWGySgt. Wilks
He pulled us to safety, watched over us until our backup came. He saved our lives.
When was this?
GWGySgt. Wilks
November 2013. Landis tracked him down a few weeks later, asked Qasim to work alongside us as a translator for the remainder of our deployment.
You ever doubt his intentions?
GWGySgt. Wilks
Never. When you serve alongside someone, you get to know who they really are. Qasim put his life on the line for us every single day. He's family.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.