TV show quotes
[looking down at a case of guns] All I wanted for breakfast was the coffee.
Now we're ready for a fair fight.
Always good to be prepared.
I've been prepared for months. With Cole on the loose, it's time to bring out some Connery, and I'm paraphrasing: never bring a knife to a gun fight.
James Bond?
Untouchables, 1987. Connery won an Academy Award for that.
You know, one of these days I'd like to actually meet someone who appreciates movies the way I do, or at least appreciates the way I appreciate them.
She does, Tony.
Who?
Ziva.
[laughs] Agent Ziva David believes that Pirates of the Caribbean is a cinema classic.
I'm not talking about movies, Tony. I'm talking about you. She cares.
What's the matter with you? We're co-workers.
Yeah?
We're teammates.
Uh-huh.
We have each other's back.
Exactly.
Huh. Surround yourself with people you would give your own life for.
So, EJ is gone?
And safe, for a change.
May I ask where?
Someplace quiet, with someone she can count on. Hopefully.
That is the word, is it not? Hopefully. Even when you think you can count on someone, you often cannot.
Do I detect a blip on the Ray-dar?
I would rather not discuss it.
Well, since EJ and I parted friends, Agent Cruz seems to have some communication issues.
Yeah, and I'm losing my patience.
As you well should. [walks over to her desk] You know, you and I, we have a lot in common in that respect.
[laughs] You think?
Oh, I don't think. I know.
Well, then I am grateful to have someone in my life who is just as romantically dysfunctional as I am.
Agent David, do you really consider me to be in your life? [Ziva looks down at her mobile phone as it rings] No. Seriously?
What should I say?
Say hello.
Oh, Ok
According to Abby's GPS coordinates, the killer was standing over there. Can't see any footprints.
Yeah, knew not to leave a trace.
Yeah, unlike some people. You know, I'm gonna start charging your boyfriend minutes.
Please tell me you have not spoken to Ray!
Okay, I haven't spoken to Ray.
Unbelievable! You're supposed to be on my side.
Now look. The guy's desperate. What am I supposed to do?
Just stay out of it!
Tell me what happened.
He does not appreciate me. There.
If I had a dollar every time a woman said that to me.
While he was overseas, you know, we stayed as connected as best as we could. Trying to make whatever we had, you know, just work. Now he was finally back and, uh, we planned this -- this lovely dinner, but he never showed, Tony. I waited in that restaurant, alone, for three hours. No text, no call, nothing. [sighs] When I saw him next, it was the following morning, and then he just said he got caught up with work.
Well.
Look it just brought me back to when I was young how my father could be. There was always something more important and I was always left waiting for a...
There's someone there.
Yeah.
Keep your partner away from this investigation.
Can't make any guarantees. Nick's a bulldog, always has been.
He that way with his wife?
[chuckles] Come on, I meant with his job. He's the best damn homicide detective we've got.
Can't break a case without him, huh?
Yeah, pretty much.
How long you been partners?
Thirteen years. You know, Maya used to say I was his second wife.
That ever a problem?
No, never. He's the only cop I know who was still on his first marriage.
How about you, Detective? Second? Third?
[sheepishly holds up four fingers] Yeah, not very proud of it. You know, sometimes, I wish I was more like Nick, a one-woman kind of guy.
What were you doing at the crime scene, Detective?
What I've been doing every day for the past thirteen years. I was solving a case.
Wasn't yours to solve.
You know what? I'm not gonna sleep until I find Maya's killer, and I don't trust anybody else to do this job, especially a bunch of Navy cops.
You think we're not doing all we can?
I think you don't have a clue how it feels to lose the one you love.
You're wrong.
You know, you should let McGee take care of that tech stuff.
I can handle it, Tony, thank you. Why is this thing not even turning on?
It's okay to ask for help, you know.
Do not need help, Tony. I am fine.
Uh-huh. I can see that. Give it to me. [She gives tony her cell phone.] Listen, don't beat yourself up. There's no way you could have seen it coming, no way any of us could have seen it coming. You'll find somebody, someday.
I'm not sure I want to. I don't think children and marriage are a part of the plan for me right now and I am fine with that. Perfectly. Perfectly content with my life.
Content, but are you happy?
Are you?
[Tony hands Ziva her phone. Buress enters.]
Detective Buress.
Sorry. I, uh, I know it's late. I just needed to hear you say it in person. You guys got the guy who killed Mia?
Yeah, it's over. We, uh, apprehended him this afternoon.
I'm not asking how, Agent Dinozzo, I'm asking who.
His name is Ray Cruz and he will never, ever hurt anyone again.
Thank you for all you've done. Guess you Navy cops aren't so bad.
Gee, thanks. Walk you out?
Yeah, yeah sure. So, how long you two been together?
'[laughs] Oh no, we're not a couple.
Just co-workers.
And friends.
Yes, yes. Very good friends.
That's good. That's, uh, real good. You hang on to that. You never know when you're gonna need somebody to be there. Cherish each other, that's all I'm sayin'. Every day.
[Tony & Ziva look at each other in the elevator.]
[standing at McGee's desk] This is definitely unusual.
Unusual is the operative word.
[walks in out of the elevator] What are you two doing?
Don't play dumb, Tim. We're trained federal agents. We can see when something's up.
And something is definitely up.
What are you two talking about?
The two computer monitors on your desk have been swapped. No one just up and changes their viewing angle. Something is up, McAnal Probie.
My monitors? That's what you're worried about?
We're not big on change around here.
Well I thought I would try something a little different today.
What makes today so special?
We know that look, McGee. It is somewhere between melancholy and constipation.
Consternation.
No, I actually meant that his mind looked clogged.
[going through the trash] This can't be good. He cleaned out his desk, too.
[whispers loudly, having seen McGee approach] Albatross! Albatross! [moves quickly to the large monitor, as though working]
Petty Officer Janet McCaffrey had a spotless record.
Two deployments on two different ships: the Ontario and the Gentry.
[looking on suspiciously] So it's finally happened: you two are snooping together, as a team.
We are merely curious and concerned.
Well, it's nothing you need to know about.
Computer monitors, clandestine meetings in Vance's office; you're up to something, McDevious. I can tell. Wait a second! Are you finally getting that sex change operation? Good for you, McGee. Or is it McShe? No judgement! I'm proud of you.
Look, Director Vance offered me a job promotion, okay? As head of the cyber division in Okinawa.
That's it?
Yes.
Well everybody knows that, Tim. Good for you. It's fantastic. You've gotta take that opportunity. The last cyber agent? He's at Microsoft now.
Yeah, as head of security. The guy's a rockstar.
Let's not get carried away.
Why are you being so normal about all this? Your sincerity is disconcerting.
You prefer I attack you with some kind of sarcastic, hostile remark?
Sort of, yeah. What do I do?
It's your choice, but I'd trust my gut. It's what Gibbs would do.
Just think of all the cases, all of the lives you've touched, Gibbs. You sacrificed everything to help those people.
But I wanted both.
It doesn't work like that.
[mumbling in Hebrew] Unbelievable!
You finally saw The Crying Game?
No. I got a speeding ticket!
Oh. You know what that means, McGee.
The system works.
I was barely going over the limit!
Let me see. [takes the ticket from Ziva's outstretched hand] It says you were doing 80 in a 40.
Not the entire time.
Did you tell them you were a federal agent?
Excuse me?
Well, sometimes if they know they look the other way. [flahes badge] Oh, that's not my wallet!
You do that often?
With one notable exception, I haven't gotten a speeding ticket in seventeen years.
Or paid for parking at football games.
It's a gray area. Sometimes I even get my donuts and coffee for free.
I do not think Gibbs would approve.
What Gibbs doesn't know won't hurt him.
What don't I know, DiNozzo?
Um, Ziva got a speeding ticket! [looks uncomfortable after receiving a disapproving look from Ziva] And I sometimes get coffee for free. But I tip big! All right, let's have it. [receives a smack]
Let's go. Dead Navy captain.
Do you ever get the feeling that he enjoys being smacked in the head?
I'd rather not think about it.
Sorry, I'm just --
Really pensive.
Confused.
Why, because you made out with your ex-fiance today?
[scoffs] What are you talking about?
Lipstick. It's not your color.
[looks in the mirror] Eagle eye, McGee.
So what's the problem? She's divorced. You're single.
The problem is been there, done that. Crash. Burn.
That bad?
NTSB is still looking for bodies.
What happened?
That's a good question, McGee. You always ask the good questions.
[to Tony] That is something Wendy mentioned about you. That you were one of the most honest people she knew. To others. She said the only person you lied to was yourself, which you do. A lot.
[looking at a heart] It's hard to believe they're so small sometimes.
What's on your mind, Tony? You sound a little pensive.
I'm not pensive! What is it with everyone and that word? [realizes he's shouting] Sorry. I was --
Would you like to talk about it?
You ever have something terrible happen to you and you think you've put it all behind you, but then the terrible comes back and it's more terrible than it was before?
I'm confused.
So am I.
Tony, it was very clear to me from the very first day I met you that you were a man in pain.
[scoffs] I'm sorry, I think you have me confused with someone else.
No, your pain is as clear to me as Jethro's. He lost Shannon, the one love of his life, and you lost faith in yourself for so many reasons. Jethro coped with his pain by repeatedly marrying the wrong woman, thus ensuring that ultimately he would be alone and safe from heartbreak. You repeatedly chased the wrong woman. You're alone because you never did as you just said: put it all behind you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
