Fact is, you're good, the best. When you're as good at something as you are, you can make a difference like you can, you just don't quit.
S4 E2Escaped
It's really not that bad, McGee.
For a spy you're a horrible liar.
LLee
Ziva's right. You can hardly notice. But...
But?
LLee
I wouldn't let Agent DiNozzo see it if I were you.
Let Agent DiNozzo see what?
(mumbles) Nothing.
Why are you mumbling, McGee?
(mumbles) I'm not mumbling.
Well, you either just said "mimes aren't rumbling" or "I'm not mumbling." And I don't see any mimes. Agent Lee, why is Agent McGee mumbling?
LLee
He over-bleached his teeth, Sir. Apparently he fell asleep while wearing his bleaching tray, Sir.
You don't watch Friends, do you? Same thing happened to Ross. You could have learned from our friend's mistake. But you chose to read instead! Let me see the damage.
(mumbles) No.
As team leader, people, I need to be aware of any condition that might affect an agent's ability to perform his or her duties.
And what does having embarrassingly white teeth have to do with performing his duties?
You said it was not that bad!
She lied! Open up your mouth.
(mumbles) No.
Let me see the Chiclets.
(mumbles) No.
Let me see them.
(mumbles) No.
Open your - Gibbs!
What is...?
I have no idea.
S4 E3Singled Out
Oh, okay. I understand.
Understand what?
You feel a little threatened now that Gibbs is back.
I do not!
You have been whining like a little snitch all week!
The term is 'bitch'.
I know. I was being polite.
[McGee is upset that Tony still calls him 'Probie']
McGee, how long have I been an NCIS Special agent?
Almost... sixteen years.
Wanna take a wild guess at what my first partner still calls me?
Don't move. Drop your weapon! Or, if you'd prefer, I can shoot you in the spine. Would you rather be a para- or quadriplegic?
Okay, I got used to being in charge!
You better get unused to being in charge before Gibbs decides to shoot you.
[Abby and McGee are asleep at their computers. Gibbs walks in.]
[whispers to Abby] Your computer's on fire.
[wakes up] AHH! McGee! My baby's french-frying! [starts typing furiously]
[wakes and starts typing] Checking internal core temperature!
[after a few seconds, Abby turns around]
That is so not funny, Gibbs!
[to a suspect who has grabbed her butt] Remove your hand or I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it!
[using a computer program that predicts the features of a couple's children, Tony and Abby combine Gibbs and Jenny and produce a hypothetical daughter.]
Wow... even with Gibbs as a father, I'd date her.
Never more than once, DiNozzo.
Aw, you and the Director make nice Gibblets, Gibbs.
You're turning down a promotion because of Gibbs' mustache?
He called Ziva 'Kate' yesterday
So I got used to being in charge, sue me! (goes to grab car door, so does Ziva)
Is there a reason why you always have to drive?
I could say it's because I'm the senior field agent, but mostly because I want to live.
Then I recommend you getting unused to being in charge before Gibbs decides to kill you.
Chances of finding her alive drop to almost zero after 48 hours. [looks at Gibbs] Sorry. I'm sure you knew that, boss.
Don't apologize, DiNozzo.
Right. Sign of weakness.
Not to mention annoying.
90 second dates. I thought you were kidding me Gibbs.
You'll do fine Ziva, I've had marriages shorter than that.
S4 E4Faking It
Tell me you found a match on our suspect's prints, Abs.
Negative. Still processing. But what we do have is $73.65. That's what the victim was carrying. And there's no pennies. He probably threw them out. A lot of people do. I mean I don't but other people do. Do you know how many pennies are thrown out or put into jars every year?
Enlighten me.
3.5 Billion. Billion, Gibbs! That's like 35 million dollars. That's a lot of pennies in any language.
Including Russian?
No, Russians don't have pennies, they have kopeks.
[about the missing case file on Operation Sunburst] Check the log; who booked it out last?
The CIA. So I guess that's not a who, it's more of an it.
Who was the NIS case agent?
[Tony pulls up the file, and sees Mike Franks.]
What time is it in Mexico right now?
Cantina time.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.