NCIS quotes
1049 total quotesAll Seasons
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Abby: Oh, I remember those days. When I was carefree and full of joy. I envy you, Tony.
Tony: Why are you dressed for a funeral, Abby?
McGee: Is everything okay?
Abby: No. Frank is sick.
Ziva: Who is Frank?
Abby: My mandibular second molar. It's been killing me for a week. I'm finally going to the dentist.
Tony: You name your teeth?
Abby: You don't?
Tony: Why are you dressed for a funeral, Abby?
McGee: Is everything okay?
Abby: No. Frank is sick.
Ziva: Who is Frank?
Abby: My mandibular second molar. It's been killing me for a week. I'm finally going to the dentist.
Tony: You name your teeth?
Abby: You don't?
Abby: Perfume is expensive, Gibbs. I can't just hang out at the Macy's tester tray with my lab kit. They frown on that sort of behavior.
[Later on in the investigation]
Abby: Perfume is the most powerful accessory a woman can wear.
Gibbs: How much did all this power cost us?
Abby: Around fifteen hundred.
Gibbs: Fifteen hundred DOLLARS???
[Later on in the investigation]
Abby: Perfume is the most powerful accessory a woman can wear.
Gibbs: How much did all this power cost us?
Abby: Around fifteen hundred.
Gibbs: Fifteen hundred DOLLARS???
Abby: See this? [Holds up bandaged finger]
Gibbs: Yes.
Abby: I cut myself today installing a graphics card in my computer.
Gibbs: Okay. Do you want me to kiss it or something?
Abby: That would be really nice, but it's not my point.
Gibbs: Yes.
Abby: I cut myself today installing a graphics card in my computer.
Gibbs: Okay. Do you want me to kiss it or something?
Abby: That would be really nice, but it's not my point.
Abby: So I suppose you want me to find out what chastity belt this opens.
Gibbs: Do I look like DiNozzo?
Tony: Not funny, boss. Besides I can open a chastity belt.
Abby: Did you ever see one? Mine's awesome, eighteenth century French.
Tony: You have a chastity belt?
Gibbs: So much more information than I need to know about Abby.
Gibbs: Do I look like DiNozzo?
Tony: Not funny, boss. Besides I can open a chastity belt.
Abby: Did you ever see one? Mine's awesome, eighteenth century French.
Tony: You have a chastity belt?
Gibbs: So much more information than I need to know about Abby.
Abby: So, I hear you're not a fan of SHC.
Gibbs: Is that a band?
Abby: Spontaneous Human Combustion.
Gibbs: Don't waste my time, Abbs.
Abby: If you ever read my master's thesis, you may become a believer.
Gibbs: Doubt it...
Abby: I can show you photos of what was left of a 240 pound woman.
Gibbs: Yeah? I bet you won't.
Abby: She was sitting in a chair. All that was left were blackened seat springs, a section of back bone, one foot, still in a satin slipper, and ten pounds of ashes. The rest of her apartment was untouched.
Gibbs: Is that a band?
Abby: Spontaneous Human Combustion.
Gibbs: Don't waste my time, Abbs.
Abby: If you ever read my master's thesis, you may become a believer.
Gibbs: Doubt it...
Abby: I can show you photos of what was left of a 240 pound woman.
Gibbs: Yeah? I bet you won't.
Abby: She was sitting in a chair. All that was left were blackened seat springs, a section of back bone, one foot, still in a satin slipper, and ten pounds of ashes. The rest of her apartment was untouched.
Abby: Something's wrong. The files are too big.
Ducky: [chuckles] Not just the files.
Ducky: [chuckles] Not just the files.
Abby: Stop interogating me, McGee!
McGee: Stop acting weird!
Abby: I am weird!
McGee: Stop acting weird!
Abby: I am weird!
Abby: Sulfuric Acid. That'd chew the shine off a trailer hitch.
Kate: How'd you get into this?
Abby: I filled out an application.
[Later]
Kate: How'd you get into NCIS?
Tony: I smiled.
Kate: How'd you get into this?
Abby: I filled out an application.
[Later]
Kate: How'd you get into NCIS?
Tony: I smiled.