NCIS quotes

[walks past them] Oh, the hell he is.

[Gibbs enters the isolation chamber without a mask.]

PDr. Pitt

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who the hell are you?

His boss. The bug has a suicide gene. It's dead. It's been dead for over an hour. He's no longer infectious. (whispers to a very ill Tony) Tony, listen to me. Are you listening?

(weakly) I'm listening. I'm listening, Boss.

(whispers) You will not die, you got that? (beat) I said, you will not die.

(whispers) Okay, I got you, Boss.

(whispers) Good. (Gibbs hands Tony his phone.) It's your new cell. I'd get the number changed. Women keep calling for Spanky.

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You've gotta get a life, Gibbs.

The last thing I need is another wife!

[yelling] Life! You gotta get a life!

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Boss, I can't call! They're not gonna be able to hear me!

[Gibbs grabs the front of his suit and glares.]

I'm gonna use the computer.

Gibbs, look who else doesn't have a life. Tony came back around midnight.

He does his best work at night.

(smirks) So he tells us. There's Tony leaving... that's Ben, the mail-boy. He didn't do it.

How do you know?

(shocked) He's a Vegan.

Hitler was a Vegan.

Hitler was a vegetarian, big difference! Vegans are so against cruelty they won't even use cosmetics tested on animals.

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[examining the plague letter]

This is one smart bitch.

[Agent Yates enters wearing a slinky evening dress.]

CCassie

Wash your mouth with purple soap.

Cassie... wow! Are you suppressing drugs, or, um... selling them?

CCassie

Working under cover. Everything here is confiscated, even the La Perla underwear.

Nice.

CCassie

Gibbs, is that you playing Teletubbie? This the anthrax letter?

No it's not anthrax, it's plague.

CCassie

Thank god, Anthrax scares the hell outta me. May I?

Yeah.

CCassie

[looks] I know that return address. This is too easy, Gibbs. Paper that's traceable...

You know who sent it?

CCassie

No, but I know who they want us to think sent it.

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Cassie!

CCassie

Hey, McGee. Mind if I sit in?

Yeah, yeah! Hey boss? Cassie and I had parking spaces next to each other in Norfolk!

Why are you yelling, McGee?

So you can hear me through your hel... [realizes Gibbs is no longer wearing his suit] Helmet?

The blood tests were negative.

[tears off his own suit] Sweet!

Not for DiNozzo.

...Positive? Is he gonna be OK?

If he isn't, he'll be answering to me.

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[Gibbs brings Tony back to the office, who had been recovering from y.pestis, and is puzzled by Kate and McGee ignoring him]

[watches the team gear up for a call-out, still ignored, and disconcerted] Maybe I did die.

[stands next to him] You feel that?

[glances at Gibbs] What?

[Gibbs headslaps him as Tony winces and gives him a dumbfounded look]

[smiles] You're still alive. Welcome back, DiNozzo.

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Kate

Damn it Tony I should just take you home and just get you into bed...

[Ducky and Tony look at each other and then back to Kate]

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Come on, DiNozzo. We've got problems - someone's trying to kill us again.

Tony:' [to a concerned Abby] I'm sure he didn't mean that.

[Later]

So someone really is trying to kill us?!

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He's not looking for a terrorist cell. He's running it!

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You get Fornell in here.

DiNozzo

What should I tell him?

Tell him he's about to make the second biggest mistake of his life!

[Later]

FFornell

My second biggest mistake, Jethro? That's very dramatic. What was the first?

When you married my second wife.

FFornell

You could have warned me!

I did!

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Is it me, or did he take the whole Ari situation really well?

That's because he's looking forward to it.

Looking forward to what?

To finally getting to kill him.

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Protection detail's over, Kate.

You did good.

For once DiNozzo's right

Kate

[stands up] Wow, I thought I'd die before I ever heard...

[Suddenly, a single gunshot bullet emerges from nowhere, slicing through the air before hitting Kate in the forehead and she falls to the ground, dead. Her blood sprays onto DiNozzo's face, and Gibbs then begins looking for the shooter)

AHAri Haswari

[on distant rooftop, coldly, looking up from his sniper rifle] Sorry, Caitlin...

[Camera then shows Kate lying on the rooftop, dead, her eyes wide open and a small pool of blood building up behind her. DiNozzo then looks at her for a second before glancing at the warehouse opposite them. Gibbs follows DiNozzo's gaze]

Ari...

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(Bert the hippo farts, followed by a questioning look from Tony)

He's supposed to make that noise.

You have a stuffed animal that farts?

Yeah, it's cool huh...