“Jurisdiction” · Season 7, Episode 18
In this episode: Tony DiNozzo (7), Ziva David (5), Leroy Jethro Gibbs (3), Timothy McGee (2), Agent Abigail Borin (2), Ducky Mallard (1)
I found candy leftover from Valentine's day.
Candy from who?
Why does it matter?
It matters because you didn't eat it and so that person must not mean very much to you. It means something!
It means nothing.
Well I'm glad I wasn't your valentine.
So am I!
I wanted to see how Jensen lived.
It says a lot about a man. Take your house for instance: clean, no nonsense, stoic.
Stoic? My house is stoic?
Understated, then?
I planted some roses last weekend. Red ones. Are red roses stoic?
Well, they're prickly and thorny.
What is CGIS?
Coast Guard Investigative Service.
The Coast Guard has an investigative branch?
Well, they're smaller than us, but with a wider law enforcement reach.
But it is the Coast Guard!
Whoa, whoa. No need to get uppity. Yes, Virginia, there is a CGIS.
Now they may not have our track record, or our je ne sais quoi, but they are our legitimate sibling.
Like Corky in Life Goes On.
Oh my god, I can't believe he's dead!
What was your relationship with the deceased?
You mean he's deceased, too?
These are ocean charts. [points] This is where the Delilah was abandoned.
Calafuego. Treasure hunters.
Is that was this is all about? Treasure?
Pirate treasure.
Well this looks like David Jones' Locker.
Davy Jones'. He used to sing with The Monkees.
Real monkeys?
I envy your brain sometimes.
She also put some of Mother's silver in the dishwasher.
Really? [sarcastically]
Wait a minute. You're saying the widow and the stud diver, they... they did it together? [turns to Ziva] Ziva'd you hear that?
Yes.
Yes what?
Yes, I heard the wife did it, Tony! Okay, yes, you are a genius!
Okay, question, where would you hide a lot of money if you were afraid your house could be ceased?
[slaps the table] Not in my house!
Are you ready for the adventure of a lifetime?
It is just a movie, Tony.
How dare you? [puts down popcorn and hands Ziva a drink] Is Mickey just a mouse? Ringling Brothers just a circus?
Yes.
[chuckles] Well, you see, that's why you don't have any friends.
I do have friends!
Really? Then what are you doing with me, watching a movie on a Friday night at work? Huh?
You are my friend.
Really?
No. My date canceled.
Mine, too. [They smile and begin to watch The Black Pirate]
[searching their victim's house, after finding the front door open] Clear, boss!
[Abigail Borin approaches Tony and puts her gun to his back.]
Maybe not totally clear.
Toss the gun. Do it now.
[laughing] Take it easy, sweetheart. Who are you?
I'm not the one breaking and entering.
[approaching Abigail from behind] No, the door was open. Ladies first.
[entering from behind Gibbs] It's turning into a party around here.
Wow. looks a little like Reservoir Dogs, except you're cuter than Harvey Keitel.
[holding up his badge] We're federal agents.
Get his I.D.
[Omagi reaches for Gibbs' badge and Gibbs shakes him off]
Look, don't touch.
NCIS.
[lowering her weapon] Come on, really?
Who are you guys? DEA? FBI?
CGIS.
[chuckling] Coast Guard, boss.
You got a problem with that?
[stops laughing, seriously] No.
Yeah. [head-slaps Omagi] Put the weapon away, Kyle.
Oh yes, ma'am.
That's a nice head slap.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
