Ziva David quotes from NCIS

Tony

How much longer are we going to be stuck in here? Hello?! Anybody!

Ziva

It's been hours, Tony. I cannot take much more of this.

Tony

What's that supposed to mean? I suppose it is getting a little ripe in here.

Ziva

I'm not ripe! You, on the other hand, are pungent!

Tony

[sniffs himself and coughs] Well, it could be worse. You could be stuck in this tin can with Miguel from human resources.

Ziva

[laughs] He sweats more than anyone I've ever known.

Tony

How about Jeremy from office operations? That guy. He's always undressing you with his eyes. I mean, he's fun, but a little creepy.

Ziva

Hey, what if one of those men is dead?

Abby

[shoves the fireman out of the way] There you are!

Ziva

Abby, I've never been more happy to see your gorgeous face.

Abby

You guys must be ready to kill each other. I mean, I can't think of who I'd want to be stuck in an elevator with, except maybe Amelia Earhart, or Michelle Obama, or Joan of Arc, or the whole cast of Cirque du Soleil in case I got bored I could --

Abby!

Ziva

Good news: McGee was released from the hospital.

Abby

[glum] Great. I'm sure he has a nice, big scar to show for it.

Ziva

Well, the doctor said it is not too significant, and maybe --

Abby

Maybe if the doctor had diagnosed Harper Dearing as a clinical nutjob years ago, then none of this would have happened!

Ziva

Okay. I see you are upset. I mean, we are upset too, but we're safe, and you have to focus on that. You have to focus on the good.

Abby

The good. What good? Harper Dearing took that away. First he goes after innocent sailors, and then he comes after us where we live. All I see is pain and destruction. I don't see good. I want good back.

Ziva

Abby, if anyone can find the good, it is you. I have no doubt.

Abby

What if this isn't over? What if Dearing isn't done?

Ziva

A terrorist is only as strong as the fear he creates.

Abby

Ziva, please. Kick. His. Ass.

Tony

You can't tell me Midge didn't like me because I'm not a woman.

Ziva

Let it go, Tony. Midge liked you just fine, she just thought you were occasionally annoying.

Tony

Annoying? That's almost worse.

McGee

You're more like high maintenance. You know, always switching from the hip holster to the shoulder to the ankle.

Ziva

Changing from the Glock 17 to the 23 and then back again.

Tony

You know, what's high maintenance about that? I like a certain holster. I like a certain gun.

Ziva

You've barely spoken since we left, brilliant chatterbox.

Tony

Not feeling so brilliant, I guess.

Ziva

Well, if it's any consolation, your friend Judy did not seem the least bit spoken for to me either.

Tony

Vance was right to yell. I'm off my game. I've lost my focus. It's like half my brain is still stuck in that elevator.

Ziva

The most remarkable thing about him was how unremarkable he was.

McGee

And whatever the motive for his murder is.

Gibbs

You got nothing.

Tony

Sounds worse when you say it like that.

Gibbs

Not worse. Wrong. We got something. Got a dead Marine [walks past Ziva, Tony and McGee, who all look uncomfortable]

Gibbs

Okay, Duck. The fun is over. We can get you out of the bullpen now.

Ducky

I thought I might assist with the paperwork.

Gibbs

No, McGee can take care of that. The only place you're going is autopsy.

Ducky

Back to --

Gibbs

You've been cleared for duty, Duck.

Ducky

Oh, how wonderful! Back to -- okay. Well, I suppose I'll just be going back to autopsy. [walks away]

Ziva

[smiles] We are finally whole again.

Ziva

So you two did end up going out last night.

Tony

How did you know about that?

Ziva

I have hearing like a horse.

McGee

Hawk.

Ziva

A horse's hearing, McGee, is one of their keenest senses. Which is why you must "horsewhisper".

Ziva

Let me guess, those movie trivia works with women in bars?

Tony

Well, something must. 'Cause Tim and I have a pretty fierce date on Friday night. [McGee nods in agreement] And I have to say, we are a force of nature.

Ziva

I see. So women are just waiting for this masculine force?

Tony

Pretty much, yeah.

Ziva

Where he was suspended for shaving. Why do they not want their players to shave?

Tony

Shaving points, Ziva.

McGee

Kris Taylor?

No...he's not here. Is something wrong?

Ziva

[sarcastically] Yes. It is 3pm and we just woke you up. Do your parents know what they're paying for?

Tony

[as he walks into the squad room from the elevator] The sweet smell of recycled air, the hot glare of an annoying skylight, the weird whir of a broken fax machine, another day in paradise!

Ziva

[amused] Well, somebody woke up on the far side of the bed.

Tony

Actually, I sort of did, Ziva. [sarcastically] Thanks to my annoying new neighbors who kept me awake until 5 o'clock this morning.

McGee

Screamers?

Tony

The screamers. Third night in a row.

Ziva

I had neighbors once who never stopped fighting.

Tony

Not that kind of screamer Ziva.

Tony

Ok, ok, have your chuckles. By the way, that was a very good look back in the day.

McGee

For a Bible salesman!

Ziva

Tony, if I were you I would burn that film because you do not want anymore of these getting out there.

Tony

It shouldn't have gotten out at all but it did, thanks to McSnoop Dog here. Now listen, give me that picture because Gibbs cannot get his hands on this, do you understand me?

Gibbs

[walks into squad room] Nice look, helmet-head.

Tony

Hey Boss. It is a transitional phase. You know, the 80's.

Ziva

Are you all right, Tony?

Tony

Can I show you something?

Ziva

Yes. [Tony hands her old photographs] Is this your mother?

Tony

Yes.

Ziva

Wow, she was beautiful.

Tony

Oh. I guess she was.

Ziva

How come you never talk about her?

Tony

I don't?

Ziva

No. No, you don't.

Tony

Hm. Well, I guess she was the first woman to break my heart, and I don't like to talk about things like that.

Ziva

You don't like to talk about it because you don't want to, maybe it causes you too much pain. So she was the one who took you to the movies, huh?

Tony

Yeah. Yeah, we would go to these dollar matinees. We'd make these weekend trips to the city and there was this this theater that she loved over on 42nd Street. It was pretty run down, but she loved movies. I think she loved the escape. This is the last movie we ever saw together, right before she -- The Little Prince.

Ziva

[smiles softly] "That which is essential is invisible to the eye."

Tony

Ziva David, did you just quote a movie?

Ziva

No. I quoted a book that was made into a movie.

Tony

[smiles] Huh.

Tony

[cheerfully] Yup, well, I think the sun is virtually up so let me be the first to wish you Happy Thanksgiving. Gobble, gobble. [chuckles, Ziva looks to him in annoyance] How about the boss? Planning the big host this year. Turkey legs by the fire.

Ziva

[irritated] Shut up! I'm sick of you sitting in this car being nice to me!

Tony

[smiles] My deepest apologies.

Ziva

You're only being nice because you want me to tell you what you want to know.

Tony

Then tell me and I'll stop being nice.

Ziva

There's nothing to tell.

Tony

[sigh] Fine. I'll make it up. [loudly] He's a veterinarian.

Ziva

Stop raising your voice.

Tony

I can't be nice, I might as well be loud. Does it make you laugh?

Ziva

[laughs sarcastically] You're such a child. And then you wonder why I cannot talk to you.

Tony

So he's a hilarious veterinarian who likes the opera.

Ziva

Why do you care?! I thought we were past caring about these things.

Tony

Past them? Look, I don't care who the guy is. I just thought, we were, you know, telling each other things about things. The things that..you know, matter.

Ziva

Tony, there is no funny veterinarian. There is no one, actually.

Abby

Frying pan. It's a little cliched.

Ziva

[laughing] Works for me.