Ziva David quotes from NCIS

Ziva

Tony DiNozzo, I would like you to meet my very good friend, Shmeil Pinkhas, Middle East historian, philosopher and poet.

Listen to her kvelling. But who can argue with a smile like that? DiNozzo... I think I met somebody of that name at a hotel bar in Geneva. An older version of you, quite dashing...

Tony

[squirming] Let me get this straight... you've met my father?

Nice kid. And such stories! Oh, many I cannot repeat in mixed company.

But he had me laughing!

Tony

Well, if he stuck you with the check, then that's our guy.

Ziva

Tony showed me a picture. She was beautiful.

Inside and out. She was the love of my life, Ziva. Somehow I've never been able to fill up that void... though Lord knows I've gotten into plenty of trouble trying.

Ziva David

Where is your protection? They've usually given themselves away by now.

That is why they do not know I am in the country. No one knows.

Ziva David

You are the Director of Mossad, Abba, that is impossible.

Ziva, nothing is impossible, only difficult.

Ziva David

Which makes this officially the stupidest thing you've ever done, which is saying something. Don't you remember the last time you were here?

Yes, you said sometimes life surprises you. Surprise!

Ziva David

What if someone saw you?

At your gym?

Ziva David

Anywhere! Surely you still have enemies who want you dead.

You think? (chuckles) Ziva, I do not walk straight lines. As your Agent Gibbs would say, this is not my first radio.

Ziva David

"Rodeo."

Ziva

What about my father? McGee!

Ziva

No...

Ziva

ABBA! Abba...

Tony

Who did this?

Ziva

[sighs in relief] You should have knocked.

Tony

I live here!

Ziva

Yeah, and you almost died here too!

Tony

At lo levad. (Hebrew, "You are not alone.")

Ziva

I know.

Tony

Playing? Instead of studying?

Studying?

Tony

Yeah Dorneget. For your GS-11 exam?

What is that? [looks at everyone blankly]

McGee

It's a test that probies used to have to take to become agents. It hasn't been given in years. Gibbs is the last agent I know that took it.

Tony

Ah ah ah. The word is that Director Vance is reinstating that test.

You're messing with me.

Ziva

No he is not. I heard the same thing from Hollander in HR. I'm glad I did not have to take it.

Tony

Whew it's tough. [Ziva secretly smiles] Comprehensive, covers all the rules. Brigs, procedures, it's all in the manuals which you're gonna have to learn by heart. Here comes Vance. You can ask him yourself.

Tony

Dorneget, you're supposed to beat the senior field agent to work.

I'm so sorry but the front desk called me at like 3am.

Tony

Why?

They said I ordered a wake-up call. Can you believe that? It took me forever to get back to sleep and I guess I slept in. I'm sorry Agent DiNozzo. I promise it won't happen again.

Tony

It's Tony when we're on stake out. The idea is we're supposed to blend in.

Right.

Tony

[deadpan] Speaking of which, what in the name of Brooks Brothers are you wearing? You look like exactly what you are. A pubescent federal agent. [Dorneget fidgets, looking extremely uncomfortable]

Ziva

How is Dorneget doing?

Tony

[smiles] He is an easier mark than McGee. I pulled the old 3am wake-up on him.

McGee

Of course you did.

Ziva

[laughs] Give him a break Tony!

Ziva

Anything new on the nanny front?

McGee

Not that I've heard. Vance's search enters its second week.

Tony

Which left his agents feeling like a gaggle of nuns waiting on white smoke from the Vatican chimney.

What a day. First my car wouldn't start, then I had to talk a bus driver into letting Dex ride with me.

McGee

No dogs allowed on city buses, huh?

Not without a vest calling him a service dog.

Ziva

If they knew what kind of service Dex provides, he'd be allowed anywhere and everywhere.

Ziva

Where's McGee?

Tony

Maybe he blew away coming to work this morning.

Ziva

Maybe he met someone last night.

Tony

That's doubtful. That would be the reason I would be late.

Ziva

These days, my friend, I'm not so sure.

Tony

You've noticed.

Ziva

Yes! I'm quite aware you've hit a...um... dry spell, recently.

Tony

Like Lawrence of Arabia.

Young Ziva

How long will you be gone?

This time is different. I do not know when I will be back.

My Ziva... one day you will dance with a man who deserves your love.

Ziva

I should have known Orli was here for Bodnar. I'm sure she wants him dead as badly as I do.

Tony

I doubt that. It's her job, but [Eli] was your father.

Ziva

It's not just her job... Orli was the reason my parents split up. [Tony looks at her, surprised] I did not say anything because I did not think it mattered.

Tony

Did it?

Ziva

She was a young officer, and my father was... weak. And then it just ended. And I always just told myself that that was another rule she broke in order to advance her career. But now I think she was here for the same reason I went to Berlin. Because maybe she loved my father. You know, I keep thinking if it was not for Orli, things would have been different. I would be a different person.

Tony

[takes her hand] Then I should catch her before she leaves. You know, to thank her.

Ziva

I'm sorry if I hurt you in all of this, It was never intended. Tony, I care too much about our....friendship. I do not want it to be awkward between us.

Tony

Hey. [kisses her forehead] Nothing's awkward between friends.