Ziva David quotes from NCIS

Ziva

You can't make an omelet without breaking some legs.

Tony

You're never making me breakfast!

Ziva

That is the truth!

Tony

It's supposed to be "eggs".

Ziva

Cook them yourself!

Ziva

This reminds me of the forests I used to have fun in as a child.

Tony

I find that hard to believe.

Ziva

What, that Israel had forests?

Tony

No, that you had fun as a child.

Ziva

[laughs] Oh, sure. My father used to blindfold us, take us to the middle of the forest, and then we had to find our way out by ourselves.

Tony

I stand corrected.

Gibbs

How was the pawn shop?

Ziva

I hit a stone wall.

Tony

It's a brick wall.

Ziva

No, it was a stone wall. I backed up too quickly.

Abby

[imitating Gibbs] Gear up!

Tony

You're not Gibbs.

Abby

[imitating Gibbs] There's a gun found at a Navy base housing.

McGee

Abby, that doesn't warrant a team call-out. A: There are thousands of guns on a Navy base..

Tony

..and B: You're not Gibbs.

Abby

Ok, what if I told you that the base MP's gave me the gun to test.

McGee

Doesn't warrant a team call-out. [Ziva and Tony shake their heads in unison]

Abby

And the gun was found under a kid's bed. And, it was loaded.

Ziva

Still does not warrant a call-out.

Abby

And it was recently fired.

It's not a call-out!

Gibbs

[walking into the office] You heard the lady. Gear up!

Abby

They only listen to their master, Gibbs. Only you can crack the whip. [hands coffee to Gibbs] Only you can drink the swill.

Ziva

[on the phone outside the safehouse] Tony, we have been compromised.

Tony

What are you talking about, Ziva? Is this a drill??

Did she get my medicine?!

Ziva

I'm going around the back.

Tony

Come here. Let's go. What are you doing?! Let's go! [sees Ziva walk in the door] Should we go?

Ziva

We are more vulnerable in transit. Take cover.

What is she going to do?

Tony

You know, I don't really know. Bathroom, now.

Ziva

[calls Gibbs on speakerphone and places phone on the table, then draws two pistols]

Gibbs

Yeah? Gibbs.

Ziva

We have a situation at the safehouse.

Gibbs

Well, yeah, Ziva. What is it?

Ziva

Just a second. [both men break in a door each, only to be shot dead]

Gibbs

Ziva? Ziva! Ziva, talk to me!

Ziva

Under control. [hangs up]

Gibbs

[smiles and hangs up]

Tony

In a topsy-turvy world where nothing is as it seems, the one place you can turn to is the wall! [slaps his hands on the NCIS Most Wanted wall]

Ziva

We ran his prints. The coma man is indeed Jonathan Siravo.

Tony

Yes. The master of pirates can't change his diapers, but running an international crime syndicate?! That he can do in his sleep! [glares] You lied to me, wall!

Abby

Oh, I remember those days. When I was carefree and full of joy. I envy you, Tony.

Tony

Why are you dressed for a funeral, Abby?

McGee

Is everything okay?

Abby

No. Frank is sick.

Ziva

Who is Frank?

Abby

My mandibular second molar. It's been killing me for a week. I'm finally going to the dentist.

Tony

You name your teeth?

Abby

You don't?

Ziva

This is nice. Being able to work without Tony's incessant babbling. It is almost as if he cannot go on for more than thirty seconds without hearing his own voice. You know, the truly amazing thing is that he fails to realize just how irritating he is to those around him.

Gibbs

Ziva!

Ziva

Yes, Gibbs?

Gibbs

Babbling.

Abby

Did I miss it?

Ziva

No, he's letting him sit.

Abby

Sit?! He gets a chair? He -- he kills bunnies!!

Tony

Long distance can be hard. Telefriend from Tel Aviv?

Ziva

You're jealous.

Tony

I'm not jealous.

Ziva

Yes, you are.

Tony

No, I'm not. I'm not arguing, boss.

McGee

Argue!

Tony

Am not!

Tony

He got a name?

Ziva

Who?

Tony

The star of David.

Ziva

Oh, him. Yes, he has a name.

Tony

Trevor? Bruce? Marmaduke?

Ziva

Michael.

Tony

Hm. He sounded more like a Bruce than a Michael on the phone.

Gibbs

Okay, grab your toothbrush.

McGee

Road trip?

Gibbs

Los Angeles.

Tony

Cali-for-ni-ay. What time do we leave?

Gibbs

Not we. [Points to McGee]

Tony

McGee? Not me? McGoo? You?!

Tony

Are we fighting?

Ziva

If we were you would be on the floor bleeding.

Tony

Okay, I accept that as a likely outcome.

Tony

I have a problem with your boyfriend killing our two prime suspects.

Ziva

Really? In my country that would be cause for celebration!

Tony

Well, you aren't in your country and neither is he!

Tony

He's already killed two suspects.

Ziva

Well, in my country that would be cause for celebration!

Tony

You're not in your country and neither is he!

Ziva

He did not get out this way.

Unless could cross a lawn without bending a blade of grass.

Ziva

Not impossible with the proper training.

Tony

She can also do that trick where you put your ear to a rail and you can hear a train coming.

You get the same training?

Tony

Me? No. But I can eat a bucket of chicken in one sitting, and I have x-ray vision.